littlesarah

I'm new to this. I'm here because my long-term boyfriend has a problem. Big one. He knows he has to get sober...but has yet to do so. I'm reeling sort of. Not quite sure what road to take. He's been sober before. He knows the tools. I'm not sure whether to be there in support or to leave. I've called him on his bs before...doesn't seem to work. I'm sort of scared about everything right now. any advice?

Little Missy

Hi Sarah! I'm Missy and I'm an alcoholic. Welcome to SR. There's a lot of support and advise here. Just make sure first of all that you are safe. You know he can only get sober if he decides to and is working some type of program. You may want to check out the alanon and narnon boards here. They may have what you're looking for! Stick around and hopefully we can help!

Hugs,
Missy

Alice Wonder

hi neighbor and welcome
you will find lots of support here. you seem to understand that it is up to him but that never makes it easy. it is difficult to watch someone you love destroy themselves. read a lot of the posts in nar-anon and al-anon they will really help you gain insight and give you direction. i am down with your struggle... that is how i found this site... looking for the answers like you are. the information and support here is invaluable! take care and keep posting! love-alice

1Marty

Hello and welcome Sarah, I'm Marty, an alcoholic. My wife was probably much in your situation at one time. When I was a drunk, my wife tried to stay supported me. I began to take her for granted. Whenever she would question my drinking. I would get really angry, and verbally abusive. I did not want to stop. Thankfully, I never physically hit her or anything. Anyway, the only thing that really shook me up and got my attention was when she threatend to leave. My advise would be to stay and support if he shows an honest desire to get sober. If he does not take things seriously, it may be better for you to leave - at least temporarily into he decides to stop. I wish you the best.

ted

Hey Sarah, Welcome, This Is The Place, To Find The Support You Need.
Like Was Said The Al-anon Forum Would Probably Be Your Best Bet,people In The Same Boat, So To Speak.i Wish You And Yours Well, I Hope You Find Your Answers.

fuster

Al Anon.

You would do well to call your local Al Anon number (in the front of the White Pages) and ask them to direct you to some meetings in your area. Try different ones out, they are all different. Feeling out of place at a meeting, Al Anon or AA or whatever, is normal, but hang in there, it gets good if you don't leave before the miracle happens for you.

:Flush:

wingsfree

Hi Sarah....welcome to sober recovery....happy you have found us.

First off you need to take care of YOU Sarah. Your b/f is in charge of his life, and there's not a thing you can do or say that will make him stop drinking, that's totally up to him I'm afraid to say, so until then, you take care of YOU.

Lots have given you great advice. I think meetings for you would be wonderful, you'll get the best support there, people who totally understand how you're feeling with this, they've been there, or are still there.

Wishing you the best on your choice, in finding some happiness.

Love and hugs.......Denise