Midwest181

So in about an hour it be 28 days since my last suboxone. This will be 30 days since the ex gf picked a fight knowing I was going to be detoxing. Also 30 days since I kicked her a$$ out. She knew the weak me. I told Her ahead of time if she pulled some crap that could jeopardize me getting my head right that she was going to figure out real fast what I'm like when my mind is clear...
She said some pretty messed up crap to hurt me.
I took care of her and her kid for 10 months. She had no job and paid for nothing (she has a fractured vert in lower back that kept her from doing a lot) If she wanted to work that was fine but I'm kinda old school.. I can and want to take care of who I'm with.
It didnt happen the way she thought it would. Normally she would fight, I would say leave, then she would show back up acting like nothing happened, she would have some major "issue" for me to feel sorry for her or she would have a million things to come by and pack and she would end up staying here again and I would be left thinking what the hell just happened!?! But since I was depressed, beat down, sick, and addicted having someone around was what I thought I needed.
There is no other point in my life I would have put up with the ups and downs.
This time I packed her stuff, put it on the porch and did not respond.
I got all sorts of texts, from sad, to mad, to crazy, to mean and repeat that cycle. She wasn't getting the response she wanted. Eventually blocked her number from texts knowing she would not call.
A few minutes ago she called from a landline i didnt know and was asking if she had mail...
No you don't have mail, you switched your address weeks ago!!
I figured I might feel bad if I heard her voice. But I didn't. But weeks of silence was nice. But I know now she is trying to figure out how to make me feel bad.
I guess I will see what the next few days hold. I'm sure the doorbell will ring at 815 after she drops her son off at school.
Looks like I'm sleeping til noon or taking off at 7am

What did I expect to attract into my life when it was in chaos? Chaos attracts chaos

I'm not worried about taking a pill... No desire for that. I am Just worried I will mentally get set back. She hasn't even crossed my mind lately.

Relationships are not a good idea when you aren't in a good place mentally. I knew this. I knew better... The sign said "do not touch" so what did I do?

Sorry. Had to vent. She tricked me and got ahold of me. Sneaky... Sneaky

BFD

Stand your ground. She's not a good person at all. And look? Conveniently she's contacting you when all her bills are probably due and past due. Don't fall for it. Please. You've come too far and there is someone much better out there for you.

joygirl

Sounds like she's becoming a stalker! You could always consider a restraining order if it keeps on. That would give her the message!
You have such a great attitude though. You sound strong. Maintain!!!

Midwest181

She's not getting in... She was put in my life to show me how easily I can allow myself to get pulled down. I have been lucky to have dated some awesome girls in the past. I'm taking this one as a lesson and probably just what I needed to make myself look inside and get things right in my life. I allowed it. It's not her fault. It's just who she is and how she has survived. It's on me and I'll accept that..... Ill die alone before I put myself through that again...lol
Thanks for listening

BFD

You are way more forgiving than I am. I have had a very bad relationship go tango uniform and while I do accept blame for some things, I blame him WAY more, hahaha. Way to go. You are awesome. I'm so glad to see you doing so well. Hugs.

ex D-Boy

Good for you not allowing a toxic past relationship to get back into your life. You'd be surprised how easily another person can cause us addicts to want to use.

As for dying alone? Girls are like buses man, if you don't like what's in front of ya wait another 15 minutes, a better one is right around the corner ( before a female jumps on me , the same analogy can be applied for men!)

airmankenyon

good post

BFD

So, did she show up?

Midwest181

She called a bunch of times lastnight but I didn't answer. She actually left a message which is strange for her. I won't feel sorry for her. I went out of my way to explain to her I'm not "that guy" and she better pull it together before my head is clear. Being the weekend and the fact that I'm not responding I am sure my phone will get all sorts of calls I'm not sure if she will show up. But I'm sure she will make some crazy reason up to make me feel sorry for her and when I don't respond she will pick a fight to try and get a response that way.. This will be all on voicemail because I'm not answering any number I don't know.
Ill keep you updated on the craziness.

BFD

Okay. Good luck! Haha.

deeker

Triky I am proud of you and setting boundaries. I'm not gonna lie, a long time ago I was that girl. She has a problem.

joygirl

Hey, midwest, isn't today 30 days???

Midwest181

In about 30 minutes it will be 30 days! It's amazing feeling free and not stuck worrying about if I'm going to be sick!