joygirl

It occurred to me that I can now make plans to do things. Before, I had to first check to see if I had enough pills to get me through it. If not, then I couldn't do it. And sometimes I'd run out, so I'd have to cancel. And I'm talking about school functions, birthdays and holidays, not to mention doctor and dental appointments, even shopping. Even showering.
It's so freeing to be able to check my calendar, not check my pill bottle! Ya know?!

freefromthese

A to the men!!

1Dayatatyme

Glad to see you found the substance abuse forum, joygirl... you are doing a great job with your recovery... keep it up!

joygirl

Thanks! I have to say this whole site is really helpful to me. I went out to eat with my family today and I haven't done that sober in 7 years. It was even my idea that I thought of while reading posts. I just said lets go, went, enjoyed my family while there, didn't panic, I did it. I know that sounds kind of a small thing, but to me its HUGE! I'm still actually feeling giddy about it, go figure.
Anyone else have something like that happen?

mander76

I can relate to this. I used to plan everything around drink intervals.

Mountainmanbob

joygirl

Thanks! And I didn't even plan that one. It was spontaneous. 7 years ago I used to be spontaneous and it seems to be coming back, thank goodness. It really does feel free...

neferkamichael

Joygirl, It's so freeing to be able to check my calendar, not check my pill bottle? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. You are so right, nice to be free.

finaltime

Yes I know exactly how you feel.... I was in that same exact position as you, and I can tell you on numerous trips I was sick the last few days, and especially on the way home due to running out of pills. I love my sober self, I am organized, clean, excellent mom (even to the point I cook and shop healthier, provide excellent healthy snacks for my daughter etc) I look better, I take better care of myself, and you know what??? I make plans with others and actually keep them!!!!!!!!! I have cancelled plans that I have made while I had pills or wasn't hungover, and had to cancel them due to being sick or having to go search for more, or be hungover... Now I actually make plans with a group of people, and am the actual planner! I planned Easter brunch this year with 7 other people, that day was amazing and I felt so so so proud of myself. All in all, when we are sober life is just better and the people around us are so much happier. However, its staying sober that is the challenge. I am still in the phase of my reward is using, if I don't use I need some tangible reward, shopping, going out to eat etc.

That is my challenge now. Why do I always need something. Hang in there and so so so proud of you.

joygirl

Icandoit12- Thank you for that post! Its so good to know someone else is like me. Seriously, it was like I was chained to that bottle of pills.
I know what you mean that staying this sober is the challenge. For now, my reward is this forum. I am working toward being able to get a job and earn my own money again.
That scares me for some reason. I guess because a job is a commitment and I don't know if I can make a long term plan like that yet. But its my goal.

FormerSurfer

Good for you joygirl. Good for all of us. I went golfing today. I haven't golfed in 5 years. Spur of the moment thing too. Didnt have to stop at some dudes house first, just said 'cool, lets do it' and went. Never could've done that a month ago. Feels nice.

joygirl

Formersurfer,
I hope your game was good! I'm telling you, the little things like this really matter.

Dixiepride

Hi joy....was just wondering what your story was. What kind of pills, how many a day, and most important how did you get off them? I'm having a hard time w/ this!!!

Mountainmanbob

cleaninLI

Joygirl, you are awesome! I can sooo relate to being tied to my pill bottle. Everywhere I went I had to make sure that I had enough pills to make it through until I came home. It's so liberating to just get up and go without counting out pills or lugging my water bottle along. Forget about going on a vacation, I always had to make sure I was somewhere I would have access to my pills. I even went so far as setting up a connect in my hometown when I went to my mother's funeral. So crazy how pills ruled our lives!

joygirl

Hey Dixiepride! Sorry my response is late, I didn't realize it was there. You will be so glad you are taking your life back now! Welcome to SR, this place has help set me on a wonderful path back to myself and life!

So, I injured my back from a fall off of a ladder. I was put on percocet 10 mg. 4x day. Took that correctly, had physical therapy, after a year, was in a car accident. Further injury, PT, and stronger pain meds (fentanyl patch 50 mg + percocet!) 3 years later... addicted by now... off the patch and onto oxycontin pills 20 mg 3x day + xanax 1 mg 2x day. 3 years later, taper off xanax. 6 months later, taper and quit oxy, 7 months later quit percocets. Clean. March 16, 2013.
Withdrawal was unbelievably hard. All those sick physical symptoms for about 10 days, then the emotional symptoms for a good two months, then lessening but still present until now. 103 days. Feeling like the old me from 8 years ago, but wiser. I still have some emotional symptoms, but therapy and antidepressants are helping. I've just recently been able to start exercising.
If you have any questions, feel free to pm me. And I wish you the best in recovery!

YesImReadyToo

I can totally relate. If I don't have pills I just do go. I have an appointment to see my doctor this Friday. He's going to help me detox with I think Suboxone. Did you quite cold turkey or did you have help? Thanks for the inspiration.

YesImReadyToo

I can totally relate. If I don't have pills I just do go. I have an appointment to see my doctor this Friday. He's going to help me detox with I think Suboxone. Did you quite cold turkey or did you have help? Thanks for the inspiration.

finaltime

Joygirl, I was thinking about your post last night laying in bed. Not really your exact post but the fact that I am on vacation for a month. Not only did I have money for the vacation but before I could've never ever done this, I would've never had the cash (pills were my priority) but I couldn't even think of going places for a weekend because I would run out of pills. So many of my past holidays I spent in slight withdrawals, pretending to be okay, waiting to go home so I could meet my dealer.

Well, as I am only a few days in of being completely sober (trying to quit the booze now even though I don't drink daily or even weekly, when I do drink I binge then call for blow 99% of the time) so I am trying to finally go 100% clean. (should've done that a long time ago but having a hard time with the social size of booze). Anyways, so every time I would wake up last night I would talk with GOD and just thank him. I am also staying close to SR because my friends have told me that you can get anything you want at the pharmacy here in Thailand. I would hate to have a weak moment, and walk in and get something then start over from scratch with opiates too!!!!!!!!!!

Not to mention not drinking on this 30 days hiatus is saving me more money, I can now eat more spend more money on my daughter!

LETS just say no to all substances!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!