chrisb245

As you can imagine, my wife is still super mad at me. I can accept that, she has the right to be. I put my using way before her and my family.

Its now been 27 days. I feeling pretty good, and I'm working harder on recovery than ever before.

I got home last night after my twos meetings and talking to my sponsor, and she was trying to pick a fight. I stayed calm and didnt fight with her. I accepted that she was mad and moved on.

HOWEVER, What hurts is the fact she was very hateful. She called me ******** and an idiot. I know she mad, but you don't say that to anyone, do you? I'm trying to let it go, but I don't know if we can ever come back from this.

Olivilo

Hey Chris, don't worry about it. Everyone has fights, people that don't have no passion. Of course she is mad, and I'm sure she called u that and didn't really think u r mentally ill but I'm sure she wanted to let u know she is still hurt about it and wanted to hurt u. But... She is ur wife, and u r her husband. U r always there for each other, and u love each other.
Don't worry about it and let it go, she will feel bad about it and will regret calling u names. Just remember that she might ve not have the wds but she was going thru this with u, even though she didn't have a choice. Today, u should have a great day, no matter what. And be strong like u were in the past 27 days.

Mountainmanbob

chrisb245

Thank yall so much you are so right. I think some of her anger last night came from be being at meetings for three hours.

She has a huge hate for AA, NA. She thinks recovery first is selfish. If I don't put recovery first I wont have a family.

She has called AA a cult full of arrogant a$$holes. I have tried to get her to read the wives chapter or go to a open meeting. But she says its not here problem.

It will take time I guess. Its a process.

finaltime

Chris, my man was also super super angry for a long time, in fact still is and we are no longer together. No matter what I did, how clean I was, he was angry..I really think that is is good for the spouse to also seek some support, as they are hurt by our choices as well. My X now, used to call me junkie, white trash loser, you name it, he said it...I finally gave up, and ended it. I pray you don't have to end it, however after some time clean, you deserve respect. Even to this day when he gets angry he will be quick to blame my addiction on everything. Which is super hard on me, because I am a functional addict. I am the bread winner, I am the one that has kept us going for soo long.. And he still uses pot daily. weird. proud of you

Olivilo

Chris, as it is a process for u, it also is a process for her. Eventually u will have to have a serious talk with her and tell her u r putting this behind u and ask her if she is willing to put this behind as well. She married u because she loves u and wants to be with u. Non-addict just simply doesn't understand what it's like, they just don't know. She is angry with u but "that too shall pass!!!" With time you will create new great memories together and everything will be great! Don't be mad at her that's just not going to do anything to repair ur marriage. U two are ONE. Marriage is going thru everything together, the good and the bad. If its not infidelity or abuse IT'S FIXABLE. Stick together guys. God bless u two!

Sara21

Hi Chris,
First of all, congratulations on being clean for 27 days!! That's awesome.

I am the wife of a meth addict. All I can say is that your wife's anger and hostility didn't happen overnight, so it's probably not going to go away overnight. The longer you stay sober, the more it's going to help.

She may not know it yet, but it's so important for her to also work on her own recovery. As family members of addicts we have our own issues to deal with (anger, resentment, depression, etc). The Friends and Family forum on this site has been a HUGE help to me. Perhaps you could encourage her to visit and and communicate with those that have gone through the same situation.

Good luck!