Stilltrecking

I have had a hard HARD couple of days. its the end of the school year and i am juggling classes, court papers, and a whole bunch of stuff and on last night I just got overwhelmed. I did not relapse, but the stress just got to me where i couldn't sleep and just got stuck in this panicky awful negative spiral and couldn't sleep a wink. Today, with no sleep i dusted myself off and went and did 6 hours of community service, studied, and went to the gym and pushed through the horribleness i felt. Its just crazy that i am so sensitive to stress i had a near nervous breakdown. I worry about the future a lot, but i am also hopeful for the future a lot. Sometimes i am so proud of myself for my 38 days off opiates and sometimes i think "this is the thanks i get???!!" lol. Well i keep reminding myself that i need to reteach myself healthy coping methods to stress and the only way to rid myself of stress is to actively try to fix the things i am stressing about. I was thinking that because my habit was not everyday and was relatively light i would be spared months of PAWS but i am still very much in it and i have had to accept that. Arg its the rough life for us addicts huh lol? But i am feeling good about myself as i write this knowing i will get some much needed sleep tonight (my body is destroyed by the gym).

liv1ce

It sounds as if you are developing healthy coping mechanisms. You are now FEELING the stress you hid from before.

1Dayatatyme

Liv, you are so right... Still... you are developing healthy coping mechanisms... the great article on PAWS that was posted here by another member highlighted stress as the "x" factor in exacerbating PAWS symptoms. I have made some sweeping changes in my professional life to minimize stress, at least for the first 6 months, and my symptoms have resolved quite a bit... it is amazing to think where I was on day 32, as to where I am today, day 38. It sounds like you will be coming up on finals and some of your stress cannot be avoided, but you rock for going to the gym and working out... ah.. the gifts of youth... Still, you will get through this!!! Maybe plan a great reward for yourself every time you complete something? Of course, not related to using..lol.
Hang in there!!!!