Using Others to Stop Our Pain
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Using Others to Stop Our Pain
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Using Others to Stop Our Pain
Our happiness is not a present someone else holds in his or her hands. Our well-being is not held by another to be given or withheld at whim. If we reach out and try to force someone to give us what we believe he or she holds, we will be disappointed. We will discover that it is an illusion. The person didn't hold it. He or she never shall. That beautifully wrapped box with the ribbon on it that we believed contained our happiness that someone was holding - it's an illusion!
In those moments when we are trying to reach out and force someone to stop our pain and create our joy, if we can find the courage to stop flailing about and instead stand still and deal with our issues, we will find our happiness.
Yes, it is true that if someone steps on our foot, he or she is hurting us and therefore holds the power to stop our pain by removing his or her foot. But the pain is still ours. And so is the responsibility to tell someone to stop stepping on our feet.
Healing will come when we're aware of how we attempt to use others to stop our pain and create our happiness. We will heal from the past. We will receive insights that can change the course of our relationships.
We will see that, all along, our happiness and our well-being have been in our hands. We have held that box. The contents are ours for the opening.
God, help me remember that I hold the key to my own happiness. Give me the courage to stand still and deal with my own feelings. Give me the insights I need to improve my relationships. Help me stop doing the codependent dance and start doing the dance of recovery.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Using Others to Stop Our Pain
Our happiness is not a present someone else holds in his or her hands. Our well-being is not held by another to be given or withheld at whim. If we reach out and try to force someone to give us what we believe he or she holds, we will be disappointed. We will discover that it is an illusion. The person didn't hold it. He or she never shall. That beautifully wrapped box with the ribbon on it that we believed contained our happiness that someone was holding - it's an illusion!
In those moments when we are trying to reach out and force someone to stop our pain and create our joy, if we can find the courage to stop flailing about and instead stand still and deal with our issues, we will find our happiness.
Yes, it is true that if someone steps on our foot, he or she is hurting us and therefore holds the power to stop our pain by removing his or her foot. But the pain is still ours. And so is the responsibility to tell someone to stop stepping on our feet.
Healing will come when we're aware of how we attempt to use others to stop our pain and create our happiness. We will heal from the past. We will receive insights that can change the course of our relationships.
We will see that, all along, our happiness and our well-being have been in our hands. We have held that box. The contents are ours for the opening.
God, help me remember that I hold the key to my own happiness. Give me the courage to stand still and deal with my own feelings. Give me the insights I need to improve my relationships. Help me stop doing the codependent dance and start doing the dance of recovery.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
God, help me remember that I hold the key to my own happiness. Give me the courage to stand still and deal with my own feelings. Give me the insights I need to improve my relationships. Help me stop doing the codependent dance and start doing the dance of recovery.
Today is my 49th birthday (for the 5th time
)This is the message for me today. I must take steps to take care of myself, because I am miserable.
I acknowledge that today, and I know the steps to take to feel better. Maybe more importantly, I know I will feel better.
No more dancing with the devil (shame guilt anger). Time to find my higher self and dance with her.
My daughter is taking me out for coffee and cake.
I look forward to that and telling her what a great job she is doing with her life.
She works hard at her job (Taco Bell pending shift leader) and her grades are so good at the local community college that I am bursting with love, pride and excitement for her.
Yes, I must reach out and help myself. That is a good thing.
Today is good and I will have a great time with my delightful daughter.
Thank you all for sharing your struggles and victories.
Beth
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
