Journey40

I am here because I need help and support. I don't know where to turn without feeling ashamed because I've done this so many times, and feel like I'm crying wolf. I don't think I'm an alcoholic but do believe I abuse it. Without going into much detail, that's my intro.

Coldfusion

Everyone here has felt the way you feel.

Some approach it one way, others approach it different ways.

Journey40

I don't know how to put myself in the right mindset to begin my recovery. I can't blame anyone but myself, and am taking responsibility for my actions. I even went to marriage counseling, am currently taking antidepressants, but wine always ends up being the victorious one. I pray everyday to give me strength, but get defeated by my weakness...

2granddaughters

What did the marriage councilor say about your anti-depressants and wine consumption?

What does your spouse say?

The fact that you realize that councilors/meds/booze aren't working is a great start.

I found the answers I needed in Alcoholics Anonymous. Good luck on your recovery journey.

All the best.

Bob R

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR. There is lots of information here on how to get and stay sober. Many members here are using many different methods to achieve success. One of them will work for you. Educate yourself!

Best of Luck!

doggonecarl

>I don't think I'm an alcoholic

You don't have to wait until you become an alcoholic to quit drinking. If fact, that may be too late. Consider mere alcohol abuse a blessing and quit while you are able.

Welcome to the forum.

FreeFall

Welcome! You may find if you get sober you might not even need antidepressants. Alcohol is a depressant, so drinking and taking them probably are counteracting each other and not doing anything for you. Your marriage will probably be better too if you are able to stop. It sounds like you have the desire to make a change, but don't know where to start. This is a great place to learn about all kinds of recovery methods.

To me, it doesn't matter if you call yourself an alcoholic or not. If you found your way here, and feel wine has the upper hand and that you abuse it, you may need help to stop. That's why we're all here!

sugarbear1

I was curious to know what your definition of "alcoholic" is.

Mine is that I didn't know how to live without drinking.

You can stay stopped, too!!

Nonsensical

Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse: Signs, Symptoms, and Help for Alcoholism and Alcohol Use Problems

ScottFromWI

There is nothing to be ashamed about here, most everyone here has been where you are at some point. And frankly, feeling ashamed won't help you stop drinking if that's what your plan is. If you want to quit, today is a good day to start. There is lots of support here in the newcomers forum, and also a wealth of information about other support groups in the other section

Dib42

I'm on antidepressants, and I still drink a lot. One thing I noticed, the anti-depressants don't work too well when you're drinking often. I think there is just too many different things going on with your seratonine and other chemistry.

DryRoastJim

Hello and welcome to SR!! You have found a great (and potentially life saving) resource!!

Have you tried quitting yet? If not, why not? The first step to be able to beat this beast is to accept that you have no control over alcohol. Once you accept that then you can take steps that are comfortable for you to beat this!

Take the time to read the stories on here and check out the resources to learn as much as you can about alcohol.

Keep posting and asking for support on here! We are here to help!!

Take care and have a great day!

Journey40

Wow, I feel encouraged by all the responses I got already, thank you! To answer some of the questions, I define an alcoholic as someone who drinks more than 4 drinks a day, everyday. Someone who can't function or enjoy life without a drink. I'd have to say I'm pretty close to that.
My counselor didn't really know I had a drinking problem, so she didn't say anything about taking antidepressants with it. My husband tells me he's going to not drink around me, but that only lasts about a week or so. He's kind of an enabler. I'm always afraid that someday I'll lose him due to my sometimes excessive drinking.
I feel like a hypocrite at times because I tell my kids to eat healthy and exercise, which I do those things, yet I continue to drink. The unhealthiest person in our family is yours truly.

Hevyn

Welcome Hopefulme. I felt so much better about quitting when I found this place. I was instantly calmer because I wasn't alone anymore. No one in my life had the same drinking pattern, & no one understood why I couldn't control what I drank.

Glad to have you part of us.

Journey40

Yes, I do feel stronger being here. Like you, no one understands. I have friend who drinks a lot, maybe even more than me, but she doesn't seem to have any intentions of quitting. She and I both tried to drink only on the weekends, but that never happened for me. So, here I am, hoping this is my first day of true sobriety!
About a year ago, I kind of hit rock bottom, and quit for about 3 months; even lost 10 pounds because I wasn't drinking at all. Unfortunately, that all ended. I started drinking again because of all people, my husband asked me if I was really going to quit all together. It's not his fault that I started again, but it was, in my head, kind of like permission to start again. I guess because that time, I quit drinking for him. This time I'm quitting for ME.

ru12

Hopeful, it doesn't matter what you call it. If alcohol is taking from you more than it is giving you it might be time to give it the boot. I am so glad I did!

Journey40

@ru12-yes, I agree with you because alcohol almost took everything away from me. It never gave me anything, except 10 extra pounds!

Journey40

Survived day number one of sobriety! One baby step at a time...no cravings either.

sugarbear1

It doesn't matter how much or how often one drinks.

If you think there may be a problem, stop drinking and see how you feel in 3 months.

Journey40

I did quit for 3 mths last year and felt really good, even dropped 10 pounds. My desire is to feel that way again. I'm so sick of not being in control of my own mind. Sick of waking up in he morning with a headache and hungover on weekends.