Viperidae

If you want to see a picture of a jerk, look up my name in the dictionary.

I went in for bloodwork...Who am I kidding, I triggered it. All the physical pain I was experiencing is gone, but it will be back and horrible in 3 days. This is a serious disease, serious. Despite possibly ^%%%##ing up my body badly over the last year, I drank anyway?????? I won't know the test results until I get the blood drawn and wait a week.

I know I have to really want to stop. I think I really want to stop, but I guess I don't. Hideous, that's what I am.

QUESTION: When an "old timer" on here, makes outlandish, ignorant, and offensive statements, how do I deal with that in terms of returning to AA? It's a long story and I'll get really mean if I tell it.

Can you tell I'm angry? I'd make a terrific mafia guy. I'd be merciless. Maybe I just need to channel my anger into a career like that.

Starting over!!!!!!

RightLAine

Hey Johnny.....your not alone....I had 3 days sober last week and have drank everyday since. I feel horrible about it I feel like I can't stop. I called off work yesterday b/c I had drank so much Sunday and I felt like crap. I know you want to stop...I want to stop too but it's the alcoholic in us that keeps telling us it's ok. We have to figure out how to silence them

MeSoSober

You're not a jerk. If it were easy to quit, none of us would be here.

Have you analyzed why you slipped again? Were you pissed off, bored, antsy? If you can learn something from this mistake and apply it the next time you get an urge, you'll be better able to fight it.

When you ask how to deal with returning to AA after an old timer makes ignorant statements here, you just have to accept the fact that AA, like any other group, is going to have its share of jerks, but by no means do the jerks represent the entire group. Like Republicans. HAHAHAHAHAH funny joke, my conservative brothers and sisters! :rotfxko

At any rate, you're here asking for help, so that says something about your desire to quit. Don't give up!

doggonecarl

Anger is a destructive emotion, especially for alcoholics, as we usually turn in on ourselves...and drink.

As for AA. There are other ways to get sober if you don't agree with the stance that particular recovery program takes. But to blame not going on a person on a forum--someone you don't know and who doesn't know you, so you can't take it personal--seems like you are just hurting yourself by closing off your recovery options.

And like I said, be careful about your reactions; anger is a disproportionate one to a fairly meaningless situation.

Good luck on your continued recovery.

least

All of us have had to start over at some point I"m sure. So get back up on the wagon and start over. Learn from it and move forward again. You can do this!

Nonsensical

Well said.

When you are addicted to alcohol your brain does not function normally. Part of it is desperately searching for ways to convince you to get it more. It begs, it pleads, it whines, it rationalizes, it negotiates, it insults (I'm a jerk!), it threatens, it throws tantrums. Whatever it can do to convince the part of you that decides to go to the store just one more time.

The part of your brain that craves alcohol doesn't reason. It doesn't make moral judgments. It doesn't know right from wrong. It doesn't know some other part of your body is sick from alcohol poisoning. It doesn't care what happens tomorrow. It craves alcohol and it wants it now.

Tell it "no". You can do this. The other parts of your brain are more powerful. Tell it "no".

Best of Luck!

soberclover

Don't beat yourself up...you've done enough of that. Focus on your today...your today is awesome because you want to be sober. Tell yourself "I will be sober today". I had to learn to be a duck when I was going to 12-step meetings by letting stuff roll off my back when statements came from certain people. You earned your seat in the meeting and don't let someone drive you out. Don't let them rent that much space in your head. I personally am in counselng to deal with my anger issues...have a lot of them. It's getting better....I'm getting better. Thank you for posting!!

Viperidae

I WILL BE SOBER TODAY. and in 5 days I will tell it "NO"

And I'm not going to let one person on a forum who I have a bad reaction to prevent me from getting well.

Thanks to all of you.

Nattythreads

Don't even go there mate. If you use blaming and finger-pointing as an excuse, the outcome is never a good one. Alcoholics can massage the flimsiest of reasons in to that first drink.

Weasel1966

Good for you!

People get passionate. Hell they should. Without that deep seated motivation then none of us gets better.

As has been mentioned there are lots of ways to skin a cat. Figured if you were really going to be mafia and merciless then skining a cat is a good analogy.

There are all types here. There are all types in AA. Don't let anyone... I mean anyone ever deter you from your right to save yourself. That make sense?

Keep going at it.

Ps... I do not endorse skinning anything let alone a poor defenseless cat.

Nonsensical

Don't let someone else put their garbage in your can.

When I am alone, I will often tell it "NO" out loud. I will also introduce it to some of the more colorful language I learned during my 24 years in the navy.

No animals were injured in the making of this post.

ScottFromWI

Glad you are back in it. As others have mentioned, holding personal grudges helps no one in recovery. It is a certainly that you will run into people throughout your recovery that have methods or ideas you do not agree with. Remember we are all people too, and people are not all the same. Agree to disagree and move on.

Focus on doing whatever you can do to keep sober each day, and use methods that work for you. Most importantly, have a plan you can fall back on when you get cravings.

Viperidae

Thanks all. I've moved on. Like I said I won't let someone stop me. I Feel better after your responses. A good idea to verbally tell it NO.

Mizzuno

You are not alone in taking offense to others on a forum. I have been there before. Lets start the day fresh, choosing not to drink today and feeling better for it. You can do this. We are here for you.

Coldfusion

Thanks for coming back!



Please stick with us--we're all struggling for something!

MeSoSober

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