Please advice on ex boyfriend!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: New Iberia ,LA
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Please advice on ex boyfriend!
Hi I am 25 days sober. I lived with a man for 10 months in which the last two months I spent drinking. He knew I had a problem at one point(I had been 3 yrs clean) when I met him. I was hiding it from him for the last two months of our relationship and he kicked me out because if my bizzarre behavior in the evenings. I went to rehab the next day (march1st) and called him to let him know. He doesn't want me back because he said he is scared I relapse and he doesn't want to be responsible for that since he drinks everyday. Today I went to get the last of my belongings, and found myself trying to convince him that I can be around him and not drink and he just keeps saying that he is scared!!!! He walked me out and said we would talk later and he gave me a kiss on the lips. I asked him tell me it's over and he won't say the words! He will only say that it's because he cares that he doesn't want to be responsible for a relapse. I lost my dignity to alcohol. Am I trying to lose my dignity to him? I am crushed and confused. Should I just stop and move on? Is this not addict behavior? ANY input would be greatly appreciated... Thank you for reading.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
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Well, if you were clean for three years and now have a few days under your belt, you know it takes time to restore trust. I know it seems impossible right now but perhaps your only hope of getting him back is to throw yourself into recovery.
And I think you know that if only enter recovery to win him back you are setting yourself up for relapse if things don't work out.
You can't control him. You can only change yourself. Hard truth, but truth nevertheless,
And I think you know that if only enter recovery to win him back you are setting yourself up for relapse if things don't work out.
You can't control him. You can only change yourself. Hard truth, but truth nevertheless,
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Hey MemphisBlues thank you for that. He is by no means my only reason to enter recovery. I am finally at the point that I know that I cannot be a social drinker. First time in my life that I actually admit it. I know it takes time to rebuild trust if it ever to come. Either way I know that I won't drink. I do need to throw myself into recovery, and I know that I can't control him. Thank you for a different perspective. I am only thinking of myself and not him. Ugggh! Another ugly character defect coming out!! I have a lot to work on!!! Thanks again!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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Speaking for myself I personally wouldn't want to be around someone who drank everyday. I know I wouldn't beable to handle it and I feel like I would be setting myself up for a relapse.
I personally would move on and work on getting myself better. I have enough baggage of my own least of all worrying about someone elses.
Deep down you know what is best for you.
I personally would move on and work on getting myself better. I have enough baggage of my own least of all worrying about someone elses.
Deep down you know what is best for you.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Thank you LadyinBC. I can always count on honest answers and opinions from my peers! Maybe I can't be around that either. Deep down I guess I know. But I'm not sure!! That attitude got me experimenting with alcohol AGAIN! Thank you!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
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Originally Posted by Cc77 
Does anyone get embarrassed by this disease of addiction? I can't help but think about the next 'normal' girl he finds and it kills me. I'm sooo jealous! He used to love me!
I wouldn't be jealous this guys sounds like he has some issues with drinking himself. If he does I actually feel sorry the next girl he finds.
I know it is easy to say, but you deserve someone who is going to support you in your sobriety. Someone who will treasure you and be good to you. This doesn't sound like the guy to me. Sometimes we just want what we can't have if that makes any sense.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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It sounds like you are on the right path in getting into rehab Cc77. Congrats on 25 days!!! 
My opinion is that the best thing you can do for yourself is to concentrate on you, and not worry about that guy. Focus on cherishing and appreciating yourself, and being clean and sober, and independently happy on your own. Things usually seem to work out naturally when we begin with concentrating on putting that energy into ourselves first.
My opinion is that the best thing you can do for yourself is to concentrate on you, and not worry about that guy. Focus on cherishing and appreciating yourself, and being clean and sober, and independently happy on your own. Things usually seem to work out naturally when we begin with concentrating on putting that energy into ourselves first.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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PS Cc77: You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You have a lot to be proud of, 25 days sober and 3 years prior as well as many other great things I'm sure! Don't worry about some other "normal" woman because no-one is perfect. Every single person has their own issues to resolve and comparing yourself never works. Focus on your own awesomeness.
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