Remember when Saturdays used to be fun?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 18
Remember when Saturdays used to be fun?
I dread them now. She just left to pick up a brand new bottle of vodka and "just" a 12 of Miller. I'm typing this quickly before she get's back. I can't believe she keeps doing this to herself and so soon after I told her I couldn't take it anymore.
I found an alanon meeting today but it was all the way on the the other side of town (about 30 Miles) so I couldn't make it. There's another one I can make it to on Wednesday I think. I need to go.
Happy weekend to everyone :-/
I found an alanon meeting today but it was all the way on the the other side of town (about 30 Miles) so I couldn't make it. There's another one I can make it to on Wednesday I think. I need to go.
Happy weekend to everyone :-/
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
Can you treat yourself to a movie tonight, maybe go out for a bite to eat by yourself? I don't know where you are time zone wise. Go to a book store with a coffee shop and browse the aisles? Just get out for a couple of hours and spend time with you.
(((hugs)))
(((hugs)))
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 585
Hi Papo - I know what you mean. I second what Recovering2 said - find some time for you. We have to make our own joy. I had to leave the house today to find some peace & joy, and I plan to do the same tomorrow.
Sending you strength & hugs.
Sending you strength & hugs.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 18
Thanks for the words of support.
I didn't go anywhere because my son wanted to stay home since he's been at his dad's for the past week (spring break). I read a little and watched a movie with him on the DVR and put him to bed. She maintained her distance throughout the night, it was nice. Until the booze kicked in and she started getting really obnoxious (luckily she was able to hold off til he was in bed).
Well the evening went from bad to worse. She dropped a lit cigarette in the printer (even though she's agreed multiple times not to smoke in the house) and she asked me to help her get it out. I couldn't find it (I have no idea whether it really fell in) and I told her we'd look for it in the morning. Apparently that was the wrong answer because she stormed off in a huff to bed. Two minutes later she comes into the living room and asks where her MP3 player is. I tell her I have no idea but I'm sure it must be in the drawer where it usually is. She starts asking me "Are you sure you haven't seen it?" After several back and forths I realize that she is actually accusing me of taking her MP3 player. I haven't even been in our room for the past 2 days! I've been staying in my son's room when he was at his dad's and tonight I plan to sleep on the couch since he is home. She insisted on going into my son's room (mind you it's midnight in my timezone) to look for it. I told her no, and I wouldn't budge. I'm embarrassed to admit this is something I would have previously humored her about. I would have gone in there and stayed just long enough for her to believe I really looked for it then I'd tell her I looked everywhere. I didn't do that this time and she's practically foaming at the mouth.
I am proud of myself for setting my foot down. I didn't want to bait her because she's had a lot to drink but I was not going to let her order me around anymore. I think I handled it well all things considered. It's new for me to handle things this way. I did lose my temper a couple of times but I brought it back down quickly (oddly that set her off even more). Chances are she doesn't remember this in the morning.
If our lives weren't so sad it would be comical.
I didn't go anywhere because my son wanted to stay home since he's been at his dad's for the past week (spring break). I read a little and watched a movie with him on the DVR and put him to bed. She maintained her distance throughout the night, it was nice. Until the booze kicked in and she started getting really obnoxious (luckily she was able to hold off til he was in bed).
Well the evening went from bad to worse. She dropped a lit cigarette in the printer (even though she's agreed multiple times not to smoke in the house) and she asked me to help her get it out. I couldn't find it (I have no idea whether it really fell in) and I told her we'd look for it in the morning. Apparently that was the wrong answer because she stormed off in a huff to bed. Two minutes later she comes into the living room and asks where her MP3 player is. I tell her I have no idea but I'm sure it must be in the drawer where it usually is. She starts asking me "Are you sure you haven't seen it?" After several back and forths I realize that she is actually accusing me of taking her MP3 player. I haven't even been in our room for the past 2 days! I've been staying in my son's room when he was at his dad's and tonight I plan to sleep on the couch since he is home. She insisted on going into my son's room (mind you it's midnight in my timezone) to look for it. I told her no, and I wouldn't budge. I'm embarrassed to admit this is something I would have previously humored her about. I would have gone in there and stayed just long enough for her to believe I really looked for it then I'd tell her I looked everywhere. I didn't do that this time and she's practically foaming at the mouth.
I am proud of myself for setting my foot down. I didn't want to bait her because she's had a lot to drink but I was not going to let her order me around anymore. I think I handled it well all things considered. It's new for me to handle things this way. I did lose my temper a couple of times but I brought it back down quickly (oddly that set her off even more). Chances are she doesn't remember this in the morning.
If our lives weren't so sad it would be comical.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 18
Thank you, Recovering2. It's a good reminder that it's all about how I handle my reaction. Tonight I lost my temper a couple of times but I'm new at this setting boundaries thing. I don't think there will be a next time with her, we have gone really far down this path and I think we both want out. But this will help me as we figure out logistics, money, etc and also as I continue on my own journey. I have to figure out what's inside me that causes me to keep getting into these relationships.
Today was such a big day because it was so average as far as our household goes. I see it now and I don't accept it. I had blinders on until last night. I thought I could help her but I can't if she doesn't want help.
I don't my son to grow up in a house filled with empty bottles and stale smoke. This isn't good. I need to make a break. I grew up that way and look what happened to me.
Today was such a big day because it was so average as far as our household goes. I see it now and I don't accept it. I had blinders on until last night. I thought I could help her but I can't if she doesn't want help.
I don't my son to grow up in a house filled with empty bottles and stale smoke. This isn't good. I need to make a break. I grew up that way and look what happened to me.
box of chocolates
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
When the saturdays were fun? I remember when everyday was fun lol
But yes I understand but shes not going to stop drinking or even slow down because you voice you frustration. Sucks but shell keep doing what she wants until she doesnt want to anymore
But yes I understand but shes not going to stop drinking or even slow down because you voice you frustration. Sucks but shell keep doing what she wants until she doesnt want to anymore
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