I feel thankful that others can understand my journey
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 2
I feel thankful that others can understand my journey
Good morning, and many blessings to you all. I am thankful that I may be understood regarding this painful journey of loving and losing a loved one to drug addiction.
When I came across this site, I cried with pain in my heart bc I hurt that others have gone through so much pain like myself. I'm sorry to everyone that has, this is a unique type of pain, a loss with a different story.
But, right away I also felt understood. My boyfriend of 12 years has been taken away from me by the enemy through addiction. My boyfriend is addicted to computer cleaner (huffing) is practically gone now. He goes to work. But then is huffing every night and has lost connection with all his relationships, including ours. He has been the most beautiful and amazing man in my life. I will always love him and miss him. I'm sorry that our love didn't have the chance to grow more. I promised God I will pray for Him every day. But yesterday while at the gym, I opened my hands and I finally surrendered to God and said, "okay, I give him to you. I have tried everything and nothing worked. I know you will keep him safe, I love him and thank you for him in my life, thank you for protecting him. I surrender."
My heart is in so many pieces right now, I feel so much sadness and confusion. I understand a lot because I am a clinical psychologist, but all the years of education don't prepare you for this truth about addiction.
All I know is that he's still alive, but not really on the inside. He is completely blind and in denial. He is gone. I love him every day, and mourn the loss of my best friend, my love, and whom I had picked as my husband and future father of my kids.
I have faith, yes in recovery. But I don't know if he even understands that he is losing everything slowly , including his life.
My heart and my prayers are with you all. I am a strong believer and worshiper of God. and even now I trust God and thank him for my boyfriend, he's my heart.
Thank you for reading the words that my heart speaks. I am going to be praying for all of us, and the loved ones that are lost in the tar pit of drug addiction.
God bless you,
Ceci
When I came across this site, I cried with pain in my heart bc I hurt that others have gone through so much pain like myself. I'm sorry to everyone that has, this is a unique type of pain, a loss with a different story.
But, right away I also felt understood. My boyfriend of 12 years has been taken away from me by the enemy through addiction. My boyfriend is addicted to computer cleaner (huffing) is practically gone now. He goes to work. But then is huffing every night and has lost connection with all his relationships, including ours. He has been the most beautiful and amazing man in my life. I will always love him and miss him. I'm sorry that our love didn't have the chance to grow more. I promised God I will pray for Him every day. But yesterday while at the gym, I opened my hands and I finally surrendered to God and said, "okay, I give him to you. I have tried everything and nothing worked. I know you will keep him safe, I love him and thank you for him in my life, thank you for protecting him. I surrender."
My heart is in so many pieces right now, I feel so much sadness and confusion. I understand a lot because I am a clinical psychologist, but all the years of education don't prepare you for this truth about addiction.
All I know is that he's still alive, but not really on the inside. He is completely blind and in denial. He is gone. I love him every day, and mourn the loss of my best friend, my love, and whom I had picked as my husband and future father of my kids.
I have faith, yes in recovery. But I don't know if he even understands that he is losing everything slowly , including his life.
My heart and my prayers are with you all. I am a strong believer and worshiper of God. and even now I trust God and thank him for my boyfriend, he's my heart.
Thank you for reading the words that my heart speaks. I am going to be praying for all of us, and the loved ones that are lost in the tar pit of drug addiction.
God bless you,
Ceci
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