sunshinefiend

Hello there,
Ill try to make this interesting because in all honesty, Im desperate for advice and encouragement. Im 24 years old and Im a 5 year recovered crack/cocaine addict. A couple months ago I found out my boyfriend of 9 months now has been abusing heroin,benzos, and opiates. Hes been recovered for two months now. Hes been super depressed, struggling with having fun. He doesnt know how to have fun without drugs or alcohol.
As a woman, its hard for me to cope with this because Im hormonal and will pity myself at times for not being fun enough. He is normally a trooper and makes me laugh uncontrollably. When I tell you we are cosmic lovers...I truly mean that that the universe has torn each of our lives apart at specific times so that we could find eachother to save our spirits....bizarre but absolutely surreal.
We've been doing everything as I remembered doing when I recovered... no social events that would involve drinking/drugs, no hanging out with friends that drink/do drugs and no watching movies or doing things that remind him of drugs and drinking. The biggest problem is we are both now unemployed so affording a good time is hard. Weve played board games, puzzles, play music together, watch funny shows, had tons of sex, go to meetings together, and anything and evverything I can possibly think of. His depression is creating a distance between him and I. Its starting to attack my spirit. What can I do?? I try to be a positive example...I want to encourage him to eat better, exercise or meditate with me but hes so withdrawn now.

Please...any type of answer or response will do.

MeSoSober

Has he actually been screened by a doctor or otherwise treated by a professional for depression?

And five years sober -- wow. Congratulations on that huge achievement!

fantail

Hi Sunshine,

I went through something very similar a few years ago.

You can be there for him, but you can't fix him. You need to look carefully at what you're doing... look at what it does to you, look at what it does for him. If what you're doing is a sacrifice for you but it has a positive impact on him, then keep doing it if you feel it's worth it. But don't sacrifice yourself if it isn't helping him. You need to build a little space in there. I know it's easy to feel that his depression is your depression, but it isn't. You can love him without going down there with him.

least

I would also recommend that he be seen by a qualified doctor as to whether or not he suffers with depression.

sunshinefiend

Thankyou! I appreciate the recognition. This may come off arrogant but please understand thats not my intention. Ive worked in the health care field for 4 years and I understand the dangers of medications ( also from experience) . I believe in maintaining a proper ph balance, holistically. I encourage him to take b complex ( i recommend isotonix to all) but he's already become de-motivated.

sunshinefiend

I agree, I would be of no help if I sacrificed my spirit. Hes very co-dependent and has only realized this through recent rehabilitation. As a man this must be extremely difficult to accept.