skella99

After about a week, maybe week and a half of being sober (I think)... I receive a phone call while Im on my work walk.

My AD was picked up by the police last night. She was intoxicated and was taken to the hospital (yet again). This time, the police ran her name and found she has a federal warrant. THey called the feds. SHe is now in their custody and has a hearing at 2:30 today. I will show up to pick up her things and find out what is next.

But I am GLAD. So so glad. And I actually HOPE they keep her... I want her to stay in jail. Im so sick and tired of all her b.s. and she deserves nothing better than this.

I have written a few times before, especially while I was... no, she was in crisis, and bothering and affecting me and my other kids.

Now, I just have to pray pray pray they keep her.

I think its the saddest thing that my AD going to jail makes me feel relief...and dare I say happy?

I guess Im just ready for her to pay the consequences for all the pain she has caused me and her family. Of course, I doubt she will EVER see it that way, nor will she ever admit that she has hurt us.

Sigh... Anyhow, I shall find out in a couple of hours what's next for her.

LexieCat

Yes, sadly, she may be better off in custody for the time being. From what I understand, the conditions in federal detention facilities are a little bit less dangerous/scary than most county jails.

Hugs, hopefully you will get some well-earned rest.

keepingmyjoy1

**{skella}}

I hope you can get some rest and find some peace. My thoughts are with you. I had quite the time with my daughter years ago that makes me feel such empathy for you. Hang in there.

Katiekate

My brother was arrested and convicted by the feds.

Spent 7 years in jail.

Drug Charges. Best thing that ever happened to him.

He is having a wonderful rest of his life . It straightened him right out.

skella99

Wow. And she dodges yet another bullet.
The charges were dropped. She will likely be released by 5 today.
This really sucks.

Katiekate

Well , if she was smart.

She could end it now.

LexieCat

Oh, man. Sorry to hear this.

Yeah, wish she would see it as the close call that it was, and wake the hell UP.

skella99

Yeah, she is not that smart. I wouldnt doubt that she blames the feds, the cops...everyone but her.

dandylion

Skella99, I have been where you are with my adult son. I know the feeling of wishing them to be in jail because they are safer---and you get a reprieve from the constant worry.

What I would say to you, right now, is "LET GO AND LET GOD". You are not battling her--you are battling a vicious, unreasoning, and relentless disease (as is she) that is running the show (for her and you). This will wear you into the ground and invade the whole rest of the family with the ripple effects. The disease does not care and will not take any responsibility.

She has not hit her bottom--she is far from desperate enough to reach for recovery.

I would advise you to listen to those who have walked this path before you--they are more objective than you can possibly be, right now. Talking to a LONGRECOVERED alcoholic--who has actually worked ALL the steps and has seen it all. Go to alanon and share your pain---and learn! Read every "sticky" on this forum. Read about co-dependency.

You and the family are hurting--without alcohol to numb your feelings. The mother's guilt that you are surely feeling is unjustified and serves to torment you (I know). Give up your attempts to control her . YOU DIDN'T CAUSE IT AND YOU CANT FIX IT. When you can begin to accept this you can begin to live , again.

LET GO AND LET GOD. Put the Serenity Prayer on your refrigerator and recite it to yourself over and over.

There is hope for your daughter---but, you will not be the one to orchestrate it. You will have to love her from a distance. Believe me, it is sooo much easier from a distance.

My heart goes out to you.

very sincerely, dandylion

skella99

THank you so much. This made me cry. I think this is exactly what Im working toward.

Cyranoak

Jail was very good for my wife. I wish she'd go once a year. I think that would increase the time between relapses. We had many good months after jail. I miss them.

C-

dandylion

Cryanoak------:rotfxko:rotfxko:rotfxko ,

dandylion

LexieCat

Hey, some people go to a spa once a year.

I think both places provide slippers...