comdev

Am new to this. I have been drinking for 17 years, after the first 3 years it was daily. I am now 32 years old. At about 22 I had a naltexone implant and abstained for 5 weeks. At 25 I went to rehab and was clean for 3 months. When I left I developed a heroin addiction, as well as struggling with alcohol. Since then the heroin and alcohol have played a large part of my life. I haven't used heroin for 14 months now but continue to drink daily. When my partner was incarcerated 14 months ago I realized I wanted to start living the life I had always dreamed of so I went back to school to complete year 12. I am now at university and desperately want to succeed but know I wont if I continue the way I am. I don't discuss any of these things with friends as I feel ashamed.

trachemys

Welcome to the lifeboat. Grab an oar.

Nothing to be ashamed about. Some of us, our brains are wired for addiction. It's the way we are. The only choice is stop using. The method is up to you. Read around the site, talk with everyone here, seek other help if you need to.

You can do this.

Cascabel

You are not alone in being "stuck" in your ways. I'm sure there are others posting here who find it difficult to change their ways even though they sincerely wish to: count me among them. Thirty five years ago, I quit drinking and stayed sober until a few years ago when I started drinking again. I thought I could just drink socially and for a while I was right. Now, I feel that alcohol is back in control rather than me and I hate the feeling. I don't really drink too much by "hard-core" standards but the issue is that I no longer feel that I am in control. I want to quit, and have for weeks or a month or so but can't seem to stick with it. I tried AA and found it not to my liking. I know that I can stay sober if I can just get "over the hump"; I did it for over thirty years. I am starting again today to get over the hump and determined to do it this time; I am 75, still healthy, and want to be able to say the same when I am in my 80's.

flutter

You're definitely not alone! Welcome

Grymt

Welcome.

As one starts to change and continues to change ingrained habits it's natural to be conflicted or confused. It's 'par for the course'. In time, as these changes manifest themselves in changes in all arenas of life, thing's get easier. Be gentle and thoughtful and calm on this path.

comdev

Thankyou to all the people who offered their support to me today. I hope that someday soon I too will feel confident enough to do the same.