JungleGirl

My ex boyfriend is a problem drinker. He has done some horrible things while drunk over the 3 years we were together, he would go out and call me to come and pick him up at 3am, abuse me when I said no by calling constantly and yelling at me, then get home at 4am turn the music up full ball and come into our room to wake me up and argue with me or he would just get drunk at home have the music up full ball all night with his friends over, when I asked him to keep it down because I was trying to sleep, he'd say it's saturday night, deal with it.
he'd pick fights with me over nothing and they would continue for hours and hours. One second he would be ok with me then next he would be so angry and yelling at me for god knows what.
After we had been together for a year we went to a festival, he drank a bottle of vodka and took drugs, on the way home I was driving and we were fighting, he pulled up my handbrake on the fwy and the car rolled onto it's side, thankfully no one was hurt. I should have known then, I did know, I just didn't want to admit it.
Three weeks ago he went to the pub for a friends birthday and came home drunk, my friend was over and it was so embarrassing, my brother came over to see me and I had to turn him away because I was scared my boyfriend would say something he couldn't take back (they have had problems with each other) I couldn't stay there and be abused again, I just couldn't do it too myself so I left and he called me ALL night abusing me, I had our dog and he told me if I didn't bring him back he would come to my dads house and kill everyone inside. That's when I knew enough was enough, that was my final breaking point.
I've never written it out like that before and it makes me so so sad. I can't believe I can still love him... we are still in contact, we have a dog together and our lease is not up until june, as well as sorting out bills etc, but I will never go back, I'm terrified I will go back but I honestly believe deep in my soul, I have the strength to stay away.
I just wanted to get my story out there, I haven't told many people what has really gone on..

neferkamichael

JungleGirl, ya never know when somebody who say's things of that nature is gonna do it, so be very careful.

EnglishGarden

It's a beautiful avatar you chose there, junglegirl. I hope you live by it. You are no match for alcoholism. You will never win.

Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope you call on those who love you--those who are trustworthy and healthy--to be anchors for you in the days ahead.

JungleGirl

I'd just like to add when he was sober he wasn't like this at all, never overly aggressive, never threatening, he wasn't the greatest boyfriend in the world but he was a loving happy man, alcohol just turned him into a beast, which is probably why I hung around so long, desperately hoping it would change..

CrossFox

Concerning dysfunctional relationships, I find this thread "sticky" series to be enlightening (as well as books about codependency).

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...sive-love.html

LexieCat

Physical abuse and threats are very, very dangerous situations.

I would suggest that you consider getting a restraining order/order of protection for you AND your family. Such an order can include issues like who pays the bills, etc., but its main virtue is to allow the police to make an arrest at the first contact.

I've worked in the DV field for many years, and, sadly, stories like yours sometimes end in tragedy. He could have killed you in the car, and now he is threatening the lives of your family members. This is something to take very, very seriously. Please think about it. I'm glad you are out of the relationship.