Starbaby928

Meeting in 1 hour, 20 minutes. Came home after work to let the dog out & change... Getting caught up in my own head... I think going makes this real. I have yet to say the word "alcoholic" out loud...

Hevyn

Star, Just think how good it'll feel to get through this. Of course you're anxious, but I predict it will be very helpful and reassuring. Please report back & let us know when you get chance. Be proud of yourself.

Starbaby928

Thanks Hevyn... I had a good day and I think that's part of this feeling... Like my mind is saying- wait a minute- you're ok... But I know that's not necessarily true.

Dee74

Go - nothing to lose really, right?

D

Starbaby928

I went... I held up my hand. Someone reached out to me afterward. I cried and I told her a brief synopsis of my story. The truth. She didn't judge me. I cried some more.

I got my desire chip tonight. I made plans to go back tomorrow night & Wednesday night.

Some of the stories resonated. Others did not. That's life though, right?

I feel emotionally tapped out.

gratefulkp

Congratulations and God bless.

liss74

OMG I was shaking got out the car in the car so scared something made me jump out and like a magnet pushed me in those doors 10 days ago and once in there I have never felt I belonged I was not alone felt right thank u universe u can do it to I promise u will never regret it !!! Good luck x

liss74

Good on u for going x

Starbaby928

Thanks liss74... One day at a time, right?

Ptcapote

SB--went to my first meeting tonight too after chickening out about four times last week (did that lovely drive-by the AA meeting/stalker routine). I was also scared to death and it wasn't nearly as bad as I imagined. I didn't share, however, so good for you being so brave. Hoping I will try tomorrow night.

Also some stories resonated and some didn't. Some scared the crap out of me (18 years and then a relapse). Emotionally tapped out for sure. But glad I went. Thanks for posting---looking forward to hearing how your next meetings go as well. x

Starbaby928

I totally parked up the street... And I almost drove off when I saw a group of people hovering outside... But Dee's post on another thread got me out of the car... Like Dee said- I have nothing to lose.

I will keep y'all posted & y'all do the same. I truly feel better having everyone on SR to share with.

kizzie

Yay! So glad you did it, Starbaby. And you too, PT! It's scary but so comforting to hear others describing the same crazy thoughts we have. I totally get you on feeling emotionally tapped out. I feel that way too after a meeting sometimes, especially when I can identify strongly with something someone else says.

Congrats on getting your booty in the door and into a chair

deeker

The hope you walk out with with outweigh the fear you walked in with. You can do it!! Woohoo!

FreeFall

I'm glad all of you found the inner strength to fight your fears and go to the meetings. Huge step in getting yourself support and tools for sobriety.

It's often true in life-our fear and anticipation blow things way out of proportion. Once we do whatever we were afraid of we realize it's just not that bad.

TigerLili

The only requirements for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. You don't have to say you're an alcoholic if you don't think you are or if you don't know whether you are.