Lost
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: gillette wy
Posts: 1
Lost
hello
ive wrote and rewrote this about 3 times now. i just keep running on and its not making any since to someone who would read and i dont know where to start. so here i go again... my soon to be husband (injune) has a horrible addiction..(meth) he has been using since he was 14 years old. He grow up in a abusive home where his parents where users also and they abused him and his older brother and sister. he suffers from depression from his childhood in 2004 his brother commited suiced, but he lived through it he doesnt have much of a face now. so my boyfriend has a lot to deal with over that he has many problems he holds in his head. we meet about 4years ago and he became sobar when we meet and was sober for 3years. we had a little boy two years in to our relationship. things where going great in the summer of 2012 i noticed a difference in him but didnt think anything of it. in july he became very depressed one day he begged me to stay home with him that he coud go throu (what i though was depression) this alone. so i stayed home from work and the weekend went on of him crying and sleeping none stop sunday morning he work up and broke down and told me he had been using meth since may. what ifelt in my heart hurt so badly i didnt know what to feel angry i was so mad i didnt know all this time i felt lied to and as if i didnt even know him for those months. he promised he would quit he suprised me with a ring and asked me to marry him (we set the date for June) well he started using again. he has become a mean person he calles me every name in the book tells me how he hates me. we fight every single day over stupid stuff that he thinks im doing and IM NOT!!! its so frustrating to know your not doing anything wrong. i know its the drugs talking because he will run out i think and come down and say he isnt going to use anymoer and he is so sorry for all the things he was said and how he has treated me the last few months then next thing i know he is using again. it has gottan horrible this thursday he decided him self he was going to stop using that he was done for good and how sorry (again) he is for putting me through this. (we try really hard to keep our son who is two out of all the fighting) he went all weekend sobar and let me tell you it was the best weekend ive had in a long time its the man i feel in love with again. he went on all weekend how he was so done with it and he is going to give it his all to stop for good!!!!! yesterday was his day back to work by him self (i went to work with himover the weekend so he wouldnt have the pressure to use) i called he about 10:00am and i can jsut hear it in his voice just they way he was being that he took a hit i asked and he siad no i didnt but i could just tell. when i got off of work at 5 i came home and i could just tell he was using again i flipped i held it in for the most part becase my son was wake but when he went to bed i couldnt hold it anymore. he told me i was making it worse and to stop that he was quiting he just need to get through the day but i couldnt stop i caught him taking a hit and i grabbed his pipe and smashed them i found anything i knew with drugs and i smashed them all and i broke down and cryed and cryed and just screamed PLEASE JUST STOP over and over im so afraid he is going to use again he keeps promising me but wont stop. he came back to bed and cryed and told me i dont understand how hard it is for him being an addict for 10years how hard it is to just stop and i understand that i need help someone please just help me help him i have no one to talk to about this because everyone i know will just judge him he has it in him to be such a great husband i want the sobar him so much im just so lost!!
ps i have made him an appt at mental health to get help. his appt isnt intell feb 26th so im afraid he will change his mind about going he has reschueld this about three times he said he will go that he needs help. what else can i do.
ive wrote and rewrote this about 3 times now. i just keep running on and its not making any since to someone who would read and i dont know where to start. so here i go again... my soon to be husband (injune) has a horrible addiction..(meth) he has been using since he was 14 years old. He grow up in a abusive home where his parents where users also and they abused him and his older brother and sister. he suffers from depression from his childhood in 2004 his brother commited suiced, but he lived through it he doesnt have much of a face now. so my boyfriend has a lot to deal with over that he has many problems he holds in his head. we meet about 4years ago and he became sobar when we meet and was sober for 3years. we had a little boy two years in to our relationship. things where going great in the summer of 2012 i noticed a difference in him but didnt think anything of it. in july he became very depressed one day he begged me to stay home with him that he coud go throu (what i though was depression) this alone. so i stayed home from work and the weekend went on of him crying and sleeping none stop sunday morning he work up and broke down and told me he had been using meth since may. what ifelt in my heart hurt so badly i didnt know what to feel angry i was so mad i didnt know all this time i felt lied to and as if i didnt even know him for those months. he promised he would quit he suprised me with a ring and asked me to marry him (we set the date for June) well he started using again. he has become a mean person he calles me every name in the book tells me how he hates me. we fight every single day over stupid stuff that he thinks im doing and IM NOT!!! its so frustrating to know your not doing anything wrong. i know its the drugs talking because he will run out i think and come down and say he isnt going to use anymoer and he is so sorry for all the things he was said and how he has treated me the last few months then next thing i know he is using again. it has gottan horrible this thursday he decided him self he was going to stop using that he was done for good and how sorry (again) he is for putting me through this. (we try really hard to keep our son who is two out of all the fighting) he went all weekend sobar and let me tell you it was the best weekend ive had in a long time its the man i feel in love with again. he went on all weekend how he was so done with it and he is going to give it his all to stop for good!!!!! yesterday was his day back to work by him self (i went to work with himover the weekend so he wouldnt have the pressure to use) i called he about 10:00am and i can jsut hear it in his voice just they way he was being that he took a hit i asked and he siad no i didnt but i could just tell. when i got off of work at 5 i came home and i could just tell he was using again i flipped i held it in for the most part becase my son was wake but when he went to bed i couldnt hold it anymore. he told me i was making it worse and to stop that he was quiting he just need to get through the day but i couldnt stop i caught him taking a hit and i grabbed his pipe and smashed them i found anything i knew with drugs and i smashed them all and i broke down and cryed and cryed and just screamed PLEASE JUST STOP over and over im so afraid he is going to use again he keeps promising me but wont stop. he came back to bed and cryed and told me i dont understand how hard it is for him being an addict for 10years how hard it is to just stop and i understand that i need help someone please just help me help him i have no one to talk to about this because everyone i know will just judge him he has it in him to be such a great husband i want the sobar him so much im just so lost!!
ps i have made him an appt at mental health to get help. his appt isnt intell feb 26th so im afraid he will change his mind about going he has reschueld this about three times he said he will go that he needs help. what else can i do.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,090
Welcome to SR, elayne. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
We have a forum here for friends and family of substance abusers. If you click on this link, it will bring you to the forum: Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Please hang in there and let us know how we can help. Taking care of you and your baby is most important.
We have a forum here for friends and family of substance abusers. If you click on this link, it will bring you to the forum: Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Please hang in there and let us know how we can help. Taking care of you and your baby is most important.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Welcome, Elayne
My wife had to call the police on me. They were very helpful and understanding.
Don't hesitate if you are feeling in danger or just hopeless. The 911 operators will get you in touch with the help you need, even if it is just someone to talk to.
My wife had to call the police on me. They were very helpful and understanding.
Don't hesitate if you are feeling in danger or just hopeless. The 911 operators will get you in touch with the help you need, even if it is just someone to talk to.
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