Saying hello to the newcomers, and an update
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 566
Saying hello to the newcomers, and an update
It's been quite a while since I've been on SR, but it was time to check in because SR was a key aspect in the beginning of my recovery.
Thank you to the newcomers who have the courage to come here and post. I really appreciate what you have to say. You also remind me of the path that I, too, had to find in the darkest of days. You've come to a place where you really can find the light. Hang in there. One of the most valuable messages I received from a friend in recovery when I was in emotional agony, teetering on feeling completely insane with grief and anger and confusion: "It won't always feel this way. Just go about your business." That became my motto for a while.
Nowadays I'm enjoying a full life, clear boundaries with my exH, a family of emotionally healthy friends and a healthy romantic relationship for 1.5 years. I continue to attend 2-3 Alanon meetings a week because that's one way I continue to invest in my relationship with myself and my HP, and to build my community of support. I meditate every day. I give thanks every day, for SOMETHING, no matter how small. I stay away from drama and chaos, the things that in the past used to confound and upset me. Now all that chaos just makes me want to remove myself from the situation because I deserve better than that. I am the most important person to me and it feels great. My teen daughters continue to hear me encourage them to do the same (and to remind them that to focus on the self is not the same as being selfish), and then they watch me walk the walk.
I'm comfortable with my imperfections. I backslide, but I rarely get confused for long, because I pick up the phone and call my sponsor or program friends, go to a meeting, pray/meditate, read recovery literature and/or write in my journal. I have a new appreciation for the gifts that men and women bring the planet, including the alcoholics, perpetrators and abusers that helped me to reach such depths of pain that I finally had to decide how to live for myself. I choose to stand up, dust myself off and make myself my priority. And everything else has fallen into place with the help of my HP and the loving support of my family of choice.
I wish all the same blessings for you, if you aren't in that emotional place today. Don't give up; I read the words here and I remember it all like it was yesterday--there is a deep understanding among us all. Keep coming back here. And know that there's a way out, even when someone is quite sure that isn't the case.
Hugs,
posie
Thank you to the newcomers who have the courage to come here and post. I really appreciate what you have to say. You also remind me of the path that I, too, had to find in the darkest of days. You've come to a place where you really can find the light. Hang in there. One of the most valuable messages I received from a friend in recovery when I was in emotional agony, teetering on feeling completely insane with grief and anger and confusion: "It won't always feel this way. Just go about your business." That became my motto for a while.
Nowadays I'm enjoying a full life, clear boundaries with my exH, a family of emotionally healthy friends and a healthy romantic relationship for 1.5 years. I continue to attend 2-3 Alanon meetings a week because that's one way I continue to invest in my relationship with myself and my HP, and to build my community of support. I meditate every day. I give thanks every day, for SOMETHING, no matter how small. I stay away from drama and chaos, the things that in the past used to confound and upset me. Now all that chaos just makes me want to remove myself from the situation because I deserve better than that. I am the most important person to me and it feels great. My teen daughters continue to hear me encourage them to do the same (and to remind them that to focus on the self is not the same as being selfish), and then they watch me walk the walk.
I'm comfortable with my imperfections. I backslide, but I rarely get confused for long, because I pick up the phone and call my sponsor or program friends, go to a meeting, pray/meditate, read recovery literature and/or write in my journal. I have a new appreciation for the gifts that men and women bring the planet, including the alcoholics, perpetrators and abusers that helped me to reach such depths of pain that I finally had to decide how to live for myself. I choose to stand up, dust myself off and make myself my priority. And everything else has fallen into place with the help of my HP and the loving support of my family of choice.
I wish all the same blessings for you, if you aren't in that emotional place today. Don't give up; I read the words here and I remember it all like it was yesterday--there is a deep understanding among us all. Keep coming back here. And know that there's a way out, even when someone is quite sure that isn't the case.
Hugs,
posie
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Posie,
Thank you very much for your post. It is a wonderful life you are living, you are very wise. You are an inspiration
I really needed to remember what recovery looks like today, when I am in a codie relapse. Well done!! 
Thank you very much for your post. It is a wonderful life you are living, you are very wise. You are an inspiration
I really needed to remember what recovery looks like today, when I am in a codie relapse. Well done!! 
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
I do not log in as much nowadays either but for the newer members, in summary, THERE IS HOPE AND MUCH GOOD IN LIFE TO LOOK FORWARD TO. It does not feel like it, but it is true. Life rewards the brave. I feel that everyone here has an amazing inner strength and we need to recognize it, and recognize all our other qualities more often.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
Thank you for this post Posie. My BF will be 90 days sober this weekend. We've been down this road before of recovery and relapse. This time he is serious about a true recovery program, which is the difference I think. The other BIG difference this time is I am working MY own recovery program...never did that before. It has truly helped me put me first, and let go of his stuff. Your post gives me hope .... Progress not Perfection!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 119
Thank you Posie, your post has really helped me. I am in the early stages of living alone after the death of my AH (not legally) and I am really distraught a lot of the time forgetting the awful times he put me through again and again. This has helped to give me the strength to carry on and rebuild my life as I want it and without chaos that has been a part of my life for the last 9 years. Well done to you.
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