Watch the parade go by
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Watch the parade go by
When I came into the program I wanted so bad to fit in and I tried to wiggle my way into what I thought was the (in crowd) in AA .
I just needed to be a part of . I was a people pleaser . I was insecure .
There was a lot of gossip amongst that group and in the beginning I fell into it really easily .
I didn't have values when I came in .
When I was out there I didn't think I had choices of what I was to be around or be exposed to .
I let a lot of spiritual pollution into my life in the past, I was a part of it .
I found as I began working my program that I was learning much about myself and my defects of character .
I started to get a conscious and I was starting to have remorse after being in a gossip session .
I also realized that the people I was hanging with were not as healthy as I thought either .
As I got healthier and decided that I was gonna serve God, I began to set boundaries .
Today I have choices of what I will and will not allow into my life .
I backed away from that group of people and searched out the winners .
I found many of them are in service work . The person chairing the meeting, the coffee maker, the greeter .
That is where I found the healthy people who were working a program .
My sponsor says gossip is like a parade you can jump in or just watch it go by .
I used to be the majorette, now I just watch it go by .
What other people are doing is no business of mine .
I have enough trouble keeping myself in line . I'm so dizzy
I just needed to be a part of . I was a people pleaser . I was insecure .
There was a lot of gossip amongst that group and in the beginning I fell into it really easily .
I didn't have values when I came in .
When I was out there I didn't think I had choices of what I was to be around or be exposed to .
I let a lot of spiritual pollution into my life in the past, I was a part of it .
I found as I began working my program that I was learning much about myself and my defects of character .
I started to get a conscious and I was starting to have remorse after being in a gossip session .
I also realized that the people I was hanging with were not as healthy as I thought either .
As I got healthier and decided that I was gonna serve God, I began to set boundaries .
Today I have choices of what I will and will not allow into my life .
I backed away from that group of people and searched out the winners .
I found many of them are in service work . The person chairing the meeting, the coffee maker, the greeter .
That is where I found the healthy people who were working a program .
My sponsor says gossip is like a parade you can jump in or just watch it go by .
I used to be the majorette, now I just watch it go by .
What other people are doing is no business of mine .
I have enough trouble keeping myself in line . I'm so dizzy
I find serenity and peace within my recovery,
sobriety when Im not the center of attention
or center of the universe. It's ok to be the
strong, silent type quietly helping others by
action and not by words.
sobriety when Im not the center of attention
or center of the universe. It's ok to be the
strong, silent type quietly helping others by
action and not by words.
It sounds like you're getting a good perspective on your drinking and its ramifications. Setting boundaries for myself and learning to say "No' was a huge step for me. I hope you continue to do well.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
center
I really like what you wrote here. it really made me think, When I first came into the program of NA/AA I jumped into all kinds of service and I believe I did it to feel important but it only brought out my Ego,and I relapsed. I have stepped back just a bit. I am keepin it simple for now, don't have to be in the limelight. It was a diificult lesson to learn though and everyone saw it before me. lol Thanks again!
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
I haven't experienced gossip in AA. I'm sorry you have. 98 percent of the people have been fine upstanding individuals who would go out of their way to help you. Perhaps I'm making an assumption here, because I've only asked some of them for help. But chatting before and after meetings, everyone seems very welcoming.
It never occurred to me that service work could result in an ego downfall, but I'm glad you didn't let it take you to your knees. It's important to remember that we're not that important... like in terms of talking on a cell phone on an airplane. Of course, if you have kids, you are super important. They need guidance.
It never occurred to me that service work could result in an ego downfall, but I'm glad you didn't let it take you to your knees. It's important to remember that we're not that important... like in terms of talking on a cell phone on an airplane. Of course, if you have kids, you are super important. They need guidance.
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