Vanilla28

Hi everyone,
Im sure mst of you wont remember me because it was a while ago. I used to drink everyday but then was going alright for a while. Then i would drink some one weekend. im still the same. Dont drink on weekdays really but as soon as the weekend rolls around i drink too much. and its really weighing on me. Its gotten to a point where i feel its a problem. my weekends usually consist of feeling guilty about wasting my 2 days off feeling like crap promising next weekend it will be differnt. but like tonight, it wasnt.

i fooled myself into thinking becuase now i only drink on weekends and not on weekdays i dont have a problem but i am sadly mistaken. but at the same time get really anxious about giving it up. i know i have done it before and i can do it again, but i need some support.

i dont know what goes though my head sometimes. i conivince myself its alright that i dont drink everyday anymore, but deep down i know im fooling myself. sigh.

so hello again SR.

Nilla

Dee74

Hi again Vanilla

I know that feeling of fooling myself. We now when somethings right and when it's
not, or when it's healthy or not.

I know from experience that ignoring the problem will just dig you a deeper hole - things can turn bad and get out of control very swiftly.

You already know there's a ton of support here - why not use it?

D

instant

Hey Nilla great you are back. We are all learning, that's the way it is. I found it better just to give up completely- makes life easier.

ricmcc

Hi again, Vanillia, I am quite sure that I remember you. Nice to hear from you again, and very nice to hear you sound so determined. I found Step 1 both the most difficult one to fully accept, and the most important one--also the most important one to always keep in mind as I worked on recovery. I should say, work on recovery, as I think that it is an ongoing process, not something that anyone ever graduates from, and then forgets, which is fine by me, as
I find leading a more rational life to be rewarding in and of itself. Nice to hear from you, and best of luck, rick

tomb

Welcome back!

least

Glad you're back and trying again.

Hevyn

Hi Nilla. Glad you came back again.

I had a very hard time admitting I needed to let go of it all together. I never imagined my life without it - but then I realized it was never fun anymore. Each time I picked up, unpredictable things happened. It took some adjusting, but in the end I was so relieved to be free of it - and all the pain it had brought me.

Vanilla28

Thanks everyone! I appreciate all the responses. It's a rare beautiful springlike day outside and I'm holed up in my room with a pretty bad hangover and a heavy heart of guilt. But today is a new day and Its supposed to be nice out again tomorrow so that is giving me something to work towards.

2granddaughters

It was a nice sunny day here in my part of South-Western Ontario.

I'm heading off to my home group meeting in the morning... care to join me?

All the best.

Bob R

Vanilla28

Well I live in BC, but thanks for the offer! Lol

krisandbeans

I live in BC too welcome back