Tired and Unsure
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Oldfort
Posts: 4
Tired and Unsure
For weeks I have just been reading post after post. I just want to see if anyone else had the same problems I do. I have an AS, 28 yrs old. I am not yet ready to put into words of the damage, heartache and so on he has caused. I fight and struggle everyday with myself on how to let go. For now I am going to continue reading as it would be to painful for me to put into words right now..
Thank you all so much for sharing your stories and my heart goes out to all of you. Some of you had made me cry. To me I just feel I will be judged, and as a mother I am a failure. I have all the I should have's crossing my mind all the time.
I have 3 other grown son's and none of them give me grief like this one.
Again thank you all for sharing. Am hoping I will find courage to do what needs to be done to save myself and my marriage. I am weak..
Debbie
Thank you all so much for sharing your stories and my heart goes out to all of you. Some of you had made me cry. To me I just feel I will be judged, and as a mother I am a failure. I have all the I should have's crossing my mind all the time.
I have 3 other grown son's and none of them give me grief like this one.
Again thank you all for sharing. Am hoping I will find courage to do what needs to be done to save myself and my marriage. I am weak..
Debbie
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Welcome to SR. I am sorry for what brings you here though.
I don't think there a mother on here that woke up one day and said "Geez, how can I screw up my kids today?" Many of us have made huge mistakes, but our actions came from a place of love and sometimes just plain old ignorance.
I hope you never feel judged here. If you ever do, remember the saying "its none of my business what you think of me." It has been a real helpful saying in my own recovery.
I don't think there a mother on here that woke up one day and said "Geez, how can I screw up my kids today?" Many of us have made huge mistakes, but our actions came from a place of love and sometimes just plain old ignorance.
I hope you never feel judged here. If you ever do, remember the saying "its none of my business what you think of me." It has been a real helpful saying in my own recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 77
Debbie,
Be compassionate toward yourself. You made the best decisions you could under the circumstances with the information and understanding you had at the time. And like LoveMeNow said, from a place of love for your son. All of us here understand that.
Be compassionate toward yourself. You made the best decisions you could under the circumstances with the information and understanding you had at the time. And like LoveMeNow said, from a place of love for your son. All of us here understand that.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Debysu, I am glad you got the courage too make your first post this, is not a place of judgement this, is a place where we can share our ESH Experience, Strength and Hope.)
We have a posse of mamas I have a son who is 27 and currently in prison he was the original reason I joined here I also have a son who is 24 and a substance abuser I was shocked especially with my second son he was in our local police cadet department finished it then went through the Sheriffs reserve , a month later he overdosed and less than a month after that he was busted with drugs.
I personally feel that as mothers we have a mindset that we should be able to make everything OK, after all that is what we do from the time our children are born the truth is there comes a point when they make their own choices and there is nothing we can do to save them, we can not fix it that was when my guilt started.
After many post and meetings I finally understand it isn't my fault no matter what anyone thinks society in general seem to look down on parents unless drugs abuse is in their house and no parent is perfect we do the best we can at the time with what we know.
I hope you will continue to read and when you feel ready share your story. Your not alone.
We have a posse of mamas I have a son who is 27 and currently in prison he was the original reason I joined here I also have a son who is 24 and a substance abuser I was shocked especially with my second son he was in our local police cadet department finished it then went through the Sheriffs reserve , a month later he overdosed and less than a month after that he was busted with drugs.
I personally feel that as mothers we have a mindset that we should be able to make everything OK, after all that is what we do from the time our children are born the truth is there comes a point when they make their own choices and there is nothing we can do to save them, we can not fix it that was when my guilt started.
After many post and meetings I finally understand it isn't my fault no matter what anyone thinks society in general seem to look down on parents unless drugs abuse is in their house and no parent is perfect we do the best we can at the time with what we know.
I hope you will continue to read and when you feel ready share your story. Your not alone.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Dear Debysu, I too am one of the Posse of Mama's here, mine is 22 and just got out of jail (second time) for burglarizing our home. He is now in rehab day 3. I totally understand you are at the end of your rope. Here is the good news. Let go of the rope! There IS power in doing that and here you must NEVER feel judged or that you failed. There is so much amazing information here at SR, so please keep reading and posting. We all here have gone through disappointment, guilt, fear and all of the other worthless emotions at the expense of our health, marriage and sanity. what helps me is knowing that I am in no way unique OR alone! There are many Mama's here. Some have children in recovery, some are still dealing with active addiction, some have let their children go, but ALL of us love our children and love this community.
Hugs,
Teresa
Hugs,
Teresa
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Burnsville, MN
Posts: 966
Debbie,
Welcome to SR. From the many responses, you know you are not alone. I came her a number of years ago because of my son. He is 32 now, has been sober using Suboxone for 3.5 years and still has a ways to go . . . He struggled through his addiction for many years.
I struggled through enabling, codependency and addiction to him for MANY years. I did the best I could each day, still do. I know how hard the struggle can be. SR, Alanon and Naranon saved my life and my sanity.
You have found a home here, welcome.
Welcome to SR. From the many responses, you know you are not alone. I came her a number of years ago because of my son. He is 32 now, has been sober using Suboxone for 3.5 years and still has a ways to go . . . He struggled through his addiction for many years.
I struggled through enabling, codependency and addiction to him for MANY years. I did the best I could each day, still do. I know how hard the struggle can be. SR, Alanon and Naranon saved my life and my sanity.
You have found a home here, welcome.
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