I lost him.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scotland
Posts: 20
I lost him.
I haven't posted on here in a while epecially since for the past 7 months I've been travelling New Zealand and Australia.
I wasn't a regular here so I'll tell you my story again. I was with my boyfriend for 4 years. Madly in love and wanted to spend my life with him, until 2 years in he started suffering post traumatic stress from a work incident and hit the drink hard. Countless rehab attempts, AA meetings. You know the usual right? I decided to leave last March and really was a mess. I was put on anti depressents, signed off work but I managed to pull myself up and decided I wanted to travel, so I bought a ticket and left. Life was starting to look up I was having a great time I'd never felt so free. Until October 25th I got the worst phone call of my life. He'd had a heart attack and died. He was 24.
So I'm in Australia and don't have a support system to help me through this. Don't get me wrong my friends and family have been great but they all have each other and I'm on my own. I also think its not hit me as hard yet because I'm not living in reality right now.
I wasn't a regular here so I'll tell you my story again. I was with my boyfriend for 4 years. Madly in love and wanted to spend my life with him, until 2 years in he started suffering post traumatic stress from a work incident and hit the drink hard. Countless rehab attempts, AA meetings. You know the usual right? I decided to leave last March and really was a mess. I was put on anti depressents, signed off work but I managed to pull myself up and decided I wanted to travel, so I bought a ticket and left. Life was starting to look up I was having a great time I'd never felt so free. Until October 25th I got the worst phone call of my life. He'd had a heart attack and died. He was 24.
So I'm in Australia and don't have a support system to help me through this. Don't get me wrong my friends and family have been great but they all have each other and I'm on my own. I also think its not hit me as hard yet because I'm not living in reality right now.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm so sorry to hear this. So many good people die from alcoholism and related causes.
I hope you will not punish yourself for living your life. There was nothing you could have done to save him.
Please keep posting here--it will take some time to process the grief. It might be helpful to look into grief counseling.
Hugs and prayers for you, and for him.
I hope you will not punish yourself for living your life. There was nothing you could have done to save him.
Please keep posting here--it will take some time to process the grief. It might be helpful to look into grief counseling.
Hugs and prayers for you, and for him.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Very sorry for your loss. Having lost someone recently due to alcoholism, I can attest to the shock and the feeling of not living in reality. Be prepared for grief to hit at the oddest of moments. And let yourself grieve when those moments do happen. There is no way around it - the only way is to go through it. Prayers to you today.
~T
~T
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