That sense of ENTITLEMENT
A work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
That sense of ENTITLEMENT
I got my knickers all in a wad today.
I was paying my bills and reviewing credit card statements (since i have all those on automatic payment). Over the past few years I racked up a decent amount of debt. Most of it wasn't due to being irresponsible--it's just that stuff happened--some problems with my house, kids' college expenses etc. Most of it accrued after I got sober. It's all low-interest and I have a great credit history (always pay on time), but in terms of pure dollar amount, it's a good-sized hunk of money.
Anyway, since I retired and got a job on top of my pension, I have been throwing tons of money into paying down the debt. Got a couple of balances almost done, which means I can throw even more at the remaining ones. I'm making good progress and am pretty happy about that.
A couple of weeks ago I get a note from my bank (where I have one of my credit cards) saying "Hey--we increased your credit limit! Use it, or transfer your higher-rate balances to our card!" Now, I've found balance transfers, over the years, to be good ways of making sure you are getting the lowest rate. I figured I'd ask for a couple of small balance transfers (less than the credit increase) and then use the money I was paying on those cards to pay down this card that sent the offer.
So I call, and I get turned down for this measly transfer. Couldn't get a supervisor on the phone, so I wound up writing a letter complaining. BUT what I found interesting (once my blood pressure came down a bit) was that I felt so damn ENTITLED. How DARE they? Don't they know how much money I make, how responsible I'm being? I felt like Brittney Spears or somebody, getting pulled over by the cops, all indignant. "Don't you know who I AM?!"
I am starting to laugh a little at myself. I still think they are wrong, and I will still send the letter of complaint, but clearly, my sense of having been wronged was WAY out of proportion to the "offense." It really doesn't make that big a difference, financially, for me. It was my ego that took the hit.
I'll keep plugging away with my original plan, which will still have those balances I wanted to transfer paid off in another four or five months. And I can be grateful I have the opportunity to get these debts paid off. Lots of people are struggling financially.
I was paying my bills and reviewing credit card statements (since i have all those on automatic payment). Over the past few years I racked up a decent amount of debt. Most of it wasn't due to being irresponsible--it's just that stuff happened--some problems with my house, kids' college expenses etc. Most of it accrued after I got sober. It's all low-interest and I have a great credit history (always pay on time), but in terms of pure dollar amount, it's a good-sized hunk of money.
Anyway, since I retired and got a job on top of my pension, I have been throwing tons of money into paying down the debt. Got a couple of balances almost done, which means I can throw even more at the remaining ones. I'm making good progress and am pretty happy about that.
A couple of weeks ago I get a note from my bank (where I have one of my credit cards) saying "Hey--we increased your credit limit! Use it, or transfer your higher-rate balances to our card!" Now, I've found balance transfers, over the years, to be good ways of making sure you are getting the lowest rate. I figured I'd ask for a couple of small balance transfers (less than the credit increase) and then use the money I was paying on those cards to pay down this card that sent the offer.
So I call, and I get turned down for this measly transfer. Couldn't get a supervisor on the phone, so I wound up writing a letter complaining. BUT what I found interesting (once my blood pressure came down a bit) was that I felt so damn ENTITLED. How DARE they? Don't they know how much money I make, how responsible I'm being? I felt like Brittney Spears or somebody, getting pulled over by the cops, all indignant. "Don't you know who I AM?!"
I am starting to laugh a little at myself. I still think they are wrong, and I will still send the letter of complaint, but clearly, my sense of having been wronged was WAY out of proportion to the "offense." It really doesn't make that big a difference, financially, for me. It was my ego that took the hit.
I'll keep plugging away with my original plan, which will still have those balances I wanted to transfer paid off in another four or five months. And I can be grateful I have the opportunity to get these debts paid off. Lots of people are struggling financially.
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
Funny how it's usually the small things that set us off. We're all tripping out on love and tolerance and spiritual principles when mom is sick or baby brother is going through divorce or we have court, but for some reason we get a ticket a minute after the meter runs out or they double ring up the mangoes we bought at the grocery store and we lose it. At least that has been my experience. For some reason alcoholics, even practicing spiritual principles in all our affairs, still have problems showing that behind the wheel. Again, at least I do.
Great that you can laugh over it. I'd like to think I do too, even if I am not exactly having fun at that moment. At least it doesn't stick around to be a resentment - now that is a different thing.
Great that you can laugh over it. I'd like to think I do too, even if I am not exactly having fun at that moment. At least it doesn't stick around to be a resentment - now that is a different thing.
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
Great story to share. I can relate a lot. Don't people know how much I am turning my life around and what things USED to be like? They should be having a parade in my honor for all this effort I am putting forth!
A work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by Fernaceman 
Great story to share. I can relate a lot. Don't people know how much I am turning my life around and what things USED to be like? They should be having a parade in my honor for all this effort I am putting forth!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Very on-topic for me personally, as at my AA group the talk was about "justifiable anger". How lots of us can get SO OUT OF JOINT about someone cutting in line at the grocery store, and then feed off it's negative vibes. Your example is very relevant for me today. Thank you for sharing that, it has been helpful for me to chew on this subject today.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,903
yep...lol @ furnaceman......and if yall knew how important I was,you all would give me my own parking spot,right in front of the front door to this place!
I`m really disappointed no one has asked me to be President of AA
I`m really disappointed no one has asked me to be President of AA
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