denial
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 9
denial
If I was ever in denial about if I have a problem or not, today finding myself here has helped. When I was in the restaurant business I found myself drinking more so often than I did in volumes and now in the last 2 months it has switched. Maybe bc I am not working (laid off) or mybe bc I actually have a problem? I used to be my alcoholic mothers' drinking buddy and bc of her destructive ways I cut off all ties to her, to now look in the mirror somedays to see her face. I feel like I am slowly becoming a person I have so much sadness for and I don't want that. I am at the beginning of my 4th day sober. I actually thought I was getting my period early or had the flu the last 3 days. (denial) When I woke up sunday morning feeling like death I realized I had drank in exessive amounts for 5 days straight. My boyfriend told me on Sunday with tears in his eyes that he was scared. I don't want to be an alcoholic. I don't want to be the girl who can't go out and not have a drink.I do want to be a living happy, healthy person. I guess this is a start.
...It's Time.
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 83
Congrats on coming to terms with your problem. Thats always the first step. Now you need to make a plan for long term sobriety. Try different programs. Snd remember your not your mother. You have the power to break that cycle. Best wishes <3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
My husband was scared for me as well, blackhearts.... He said " I just want my wife back." .... So I gave her back to him.
I don't want to be the girl who can't go out and drink either. But I can't , so I don't. I hope you keep reading and posting here. It's a good place to hang out
I don't want to be the girl who can't go out and drink either. But I can't , so I don't. I hope you keep reading and posting here. It's a good place to hang out
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I agree too - I fought so hard to hold on to drinking. In the end, it was never just "a" drink. One always led to getting drunk. It was no fun, not exciting or relaxing - just misery. Once I really believed that - I was able to let go.
We're glad to have you here, blackhearts. We all understand how hard it is when you first reach out for help. We promise it will get better and easier as you go. You can have a whole new life and leave all that sadness behind.
We're glad to have you here, blackhearts. We all understand how hard it is when you first reach out for help. We promise it will get better and easier as you go. You can have a whole new life and leave all that sadness behind.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: highland beach, florida
Posts: 649
Hi Blackhearts,
Well you have found a new home full of people just like you---only we have come to realize we have to be the girl/guy that can't go out and "just have a drink with the gang".
It is the hardest thing to come to grips with, but the experiences here, if you decide to stay, will save you the misery many of us have had to Learn The Hard Way.
Your boyfriend seems to really love you and want what is best for you--lean on him for help and visit us regularly, and read the posts. We have been where you are, and know what we are talking about, but, we will NEVER judge---because we are drunks too.
Trix
Well you have found a new home full of people just like you---only we have come to realize we have to be the girl/guy that can't go out and "just have a drink with the gang".
It is the hardest thing to come to grips with, but the experiences here, if you decide to stay, will save you the misery many of us have had to Learn The Hard Way.
Your boyfriend seems to really love you and want what is best for you--lean on him for help and visit us regularly, and read the posts. We have been where you are, and know what we are talking about, but, we will NEVER judge---because we are drunks too.
Trix
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I don't think anyone wants to be an alcoholic.
I'm not sure anyone likes the label alcoholic?
I don't know how to describe me.
The best way I think is that alcohol makes me and others around me really unhappy.
So it's best I avoid it.
I also have a different attitude towards alcohol now, as a result of the learning that I have done about addiction here.
To me it is a dangerous drug.
And when people say 'I am dying for a drink' or 'I could murder a pint' - I can only think if only you knew what it is capable of doing to a person and their loved ones.
Taking it one day at a time helped me the most.
I never think to far ahead.
Its too hard.
Your in a great position now, even though you may not see it.
But I see that you have a supportive boyfriend who is with you.
You have hours in the day, while your not working, to attend AA, Rational Recovery, study AVRT and read up and learn about alcohol and addiction.
You can dedicate time to recovery.
You have witnessed your mums drinking and have first hand experience of what heavy boozing can do.
Your probably in that downer phase of withdrawal.
Lots of drinking led me to feel sad, depressed and paranoid and hopeless.
But every minute, every hour and every day you go without drinking will see you feeling emotionally and mentally stronger.
So when you look in the mirror you will like what you see and I am sure your partner will be lots happier too.
In 13 days I will have a year free from drinking.
Its really through SR that I have achieved this.
Please keep visiting and posting.
I, and everyone else here, really do understand.
My best to you x
I'm not sure anyone likes the label alcoholic?
I don't know how to describe me.
The best way I think is that alcohol makes me and others around me really unhappy.
So it's best I avoid it.
I also have a different attitude towards alcohol now, as a result of the learning that I have done about addiction here.
To me it is a dangerous drug.
And when people say 'I am dying for a drink' or 'I could murder a pint' - I can only think if only you knew what it is capable of doing to a person and their loved ones.
Taking it one day at a time helped me the most.
I never think to far ahead.
Its too hard.
Your in a great position now, even though you may not see it.
But I see that you have a supportive boyfriend who is with you.
You have hours in the day, while your not working, to attend AA, Rational Recovery, study AVRT and read up and learn about alcohol and addiction.
You can dedicate time to recovery.
You have witnessed your mums drinking and have first hand experience of what heavy boozing can do.
Your probably in that downer phase of withdrawal.
Lots of drinking led me to feel sad, depressed and paranoid and hopeless.
But every minute, every hour and every day you go without drinking will see you feeling emotionally and mentally stronger.
So when you look in the mirror you will like what you see and I am sure your partner will be lots happier too.
In 13 days I will have a year free from drinking.
Its really through SR that I have achieved this.
Please keep visiting and posting.
I, and everyone else here, really do understand.
My best to you x
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