plantme

Hi everyone,

I'm very new at this so not sure how to go about to get the help and support I need. I guess I'll dive right in and share my burden. I have an tendency to over indulge in anything and everything! If I have weed in the house I can't just have it in the house and smoke it when the mood or day is right, no I'll smoke all day and all night until it's gone. Then I'll stop for a few days or a week, till I get that feeling of being lost and I'll go out and have a social drink and on the way home I'll stop at the store to pick up a whole bottle of vodka or two bottles of wine , go home and drink it till I pass out. next day I'll feel so bad that I promise not to drink or smoke anymore and will start a detox diet cleaning my liver, kidneys ..et. This will last for a few day's til I have no energy cause I detoxed all the life out of me...

My mom and other people close to me say I need to stop drinking cause my personality changes. I think I used the alcohol to make me feel secure and it drowns out my fears and thought's that hurt me. I haven't reached the point of rock bottom, I don't drink during the day, but at night I like to have a couple of glasses of wine or something. But once I start I want to keep drinking. Sometimes I can control it and sometimes I just don't care.

I know I have a problem and I'm afraid that It will get worse!

Anyone have any thoughts they could share to help me find my way...?
Thank you for reading this long post!

scottydee1946

The best time to stop is whenever you really want to stop.

MIRecovery

When to stop? How about right this second? Find an AA meeting and go. They have a solution or you can continue down the path you are on and things will only get worse.

We can get off the roller coaster anytime we really want to but we have to really want to.

plantme

Of course I want to stop now! If it was that easy I wouldn't be here on this site!

plantme

I came to this site cause I don't want to go to an AA group. Thought this site offers help from people who understand cause they have been there and can give some advice.

MIRecovery

There is a way out and there is a wonderful life without drugs and alcohol.

Try an AA meeting The Los Angeles Central Office Meeting Directory. The program works

MIRecovery

There are other paths to recovery but in my case AA is the only one that worked for me. Check out the secular section of this forum if you feel AA is not for you but I am sure others will jump into this thread. AVRT is something that helps me still and is non AA based

plantme

I have been to an AA group once and it made me want to drink after. Listening to all the horrible stories made me depressed and afraid. I didn't feel like I fit in.

Gal220

Today is always the best day to stop! If you are really sick and tired of it all, you don't have to do it any more. The way to stay clean and sober is simply to not pick up that first drink or drug, no matter what you're feeling. It really is that simple. Definitely not easy, but simple!

Then you have to start working on yourself so that you don't want to use any more and are content with who you are. There are lots of methods of learning how to live sober. AA worked for me, but if you don't want to try that, there are a lot of different methods out there. I can't speak to them as I haven't tried them.

In the meantime, while you're working on improving yourself and getting long-term sobriety, there are some things that worked for me when I was in the moment and craving. (These are only temporary fixes to help get past that strong desire to escape.)

* Come here on SR and read and post (I wasn't on SR when I first got sober, but would definitely suggest it).
* Go for a walk or get some exercise.
* Get out of the house with sober people and do something fun.
* Call another alcholic/addict who is also sober.
* Eat something sweet (helps a lot of people with cravings).
* Read a book.
* Get out of my self-pity and do something for someone else.
* Fulfill my responsibilities to my job and my family.

There are probably lots more things people can add, but remember that nothing changes if nothing changes. You can't be working on sobriety while continuing to use. We've all been there before. Early recovery is difficult. No one's going to say it's not. But if we can do it, you can too!

DaveyT

The time to stop is when you realise you have a problem. If you don't realise that then stopping just won't happen. You are right, it isn't easy but when someones says "just stop" they are telling you that only you can make that choice. There is no secret technique, no magic pill, no formula that will suddenly cure you. No one on this forum can sit you down and gie you the tools to quit and stay sober.

If you don't like AA (I don't either, their success rate is no better than secular groups) then head over to the secular section, there you can find links to support groups, secular ones. If you don't like attending support groups (again I'm the same) then use this forum as a support group. Pour your heart out, examine yourself, why are you drinking? Once you really get this nailed down then you can deal with the root of your problem.

It seems you are an all or nothing person in many areas of your life, that isn't a bad thing but it has to be channelled effecively. Only you can choose where to channel it though.

Good luck.

foothillfancy

I know exactly how you feel! It's very difficult to stop especially when you have not had an incident were you HAD to stop. It's all about self control and focusing on something else. I am in the same spot as you and what has helped me in the past was the gym, I had a personal trainer who really pushed me, can't workout hard w a hangover, plus the exercise motivated me to eat and drink healthy. I am planning to go to an AA women's group this week. I am flip floppy w AA but it's more comfortable w all women. I am assuming you are a female ?
Hang in there I know it takes a while to really think clear, give yourself a chance. I'm going to ...

MIRecovery

The AA stories are told to illustrate where untreated alcohol leads. Yes, the stories are depressing and scarey but look at the people that told them. They are have retruned from hell and are now health, happy, and sober. It is also possible that when you went you were really not ready to quit drinking so you were hearing things you addiction felt very uncomfortable with.

Going to one meeting once is not enough to say AA is or is not for you. Try 10 meetings and see what you think

bryangt

hey plant...when i first went to AA I felt the same....I felt I did not belong there...I could handle it my own way...i tried & i failed. so i went back to AA and gave it some time...it is working for me now. it does take time. had to try several different meetings and then something started to stick...almost 23 months sober now. I go to 3 or meetings a week, got involved & made friends who want to help me....good luck, give yourself time and have an open mind....

SDSurfn

I know EXACTLY how that feels.

In 2005 I went to a few meetings, and I felt just like you do now. I wanted no part of that program or those people. In fact, I wanted no part of recovery, period.

So I continued drinking for 7 more years, had a lot of the "yets" happen, lost much, including my sanity.

I'm now 143 days sober with the help of this wonderful SR community and with the help of the suggestions set forth in the Big Book of AA and with the fellowship and the guidance of a wise sponsor. That's what has been working for me.

However, there are many paths to sobriety.

SR is a GREAT place to start.

All the best,

SD

bigsombrero

I agree with DaveyT above in every way. I also understand how the immediate "Go to AA meeting" advice can be scary for newcomers and sound very extreme.

Not everyone here is an AA regular, but everyone here probably does share the feeling that some kind of support network is key to recovery. Admitting you have a problem is first on your list, and it sounds like you've done that. Now would be a good time for you to explore some support options. There are many that you can find here, I hope something fits. Good luck.

plantme

Thank you for your posted. i am sick and tired and ready to quite the vicious circle. I wish there was an magic pill. And your right, I am an all or nothing person and that makes it hard to keep the balance. Thank you again for your words

Gal220

One of my mentors told me that the reason we're alcoholics is because we don't want to deal with things. We just want them to go away. And when they don't, we just want to run away. You can do this! But it's going to take work and change - two things alcoholics generally don't like!

plantme

thank you foothill!
Yes I am a female too and an all women group would also be more for me. At the moment I'm visiting my mom on a little island (where everyone drinks and smokes cigarettes like it's water!) so for now I have to create discipline and a strong will on my own with this website's help. I work out a lot and am a fitness coach myself. I eat very healthy ( organic and ayurvedic meals) which makes me feel even worst about myself cause I know how bad alcohol is for my body. But the feeling of being lost or restless is so unpleasant that I just make an excuse for myself to drink. My stepfather is an alcoholic my dad was an alcoholic, my grandmother was an alcoholic and my older half sister is an alcoholic.My mom does not drink and she always is on me not to drink but then my step dad always has a bottle of wine at the dinner table. I can say no for a few days but then something happens, someone hurts my feelings or my self doubt kicks and I feel sorry for myself and I give in!

plantme

Thank you for wanting to help but I must say, the people I saw at AA did not look happy to me. They look like addicts, smoking a lot of cigarettes outside the meetings and alot of them looked like hell. I know if I don't stop my ways I will end up looking like that and that is what scares me!

plantme

gal220 I know your right. I don't want to deal with my feelings and problems! And not sure I know how too... it seems the older I get the harder I know how to manage my life!