Dreaded -Empty Nest confusion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 336
Dreaded -Empty Nest confusion
I have been dreading today for many months. The day my youngest finally moved out. He is 20 years old now in college and has moved less than 20 minutes away by train. But I expected to spend the day in bed crying.
So why am I dancing around to the Bee Gees and periodically admiring myself in the mirror? wtf!?
I am not used to this. Is this some sort of normal delayed shock ? Am I going to wake up tomorrow wanting to end it all?
I declined earlier to go to my sisters after she invited me because I want to face reality and not circumvent any pain coming my way.
I was much more upset earlier in the week when STBXAH said he would come round and help my son fix his computer - so long I 'wasn't there'! This is the person who has been sleeping in our bed with another woman till recently -whoa!
Meanwhile listening to 'Samantha Sang' listening to 'Just emotion' sounds so sweet - I feel like I am 14 again.
Anyway anybody know about this strange reaction of mine- am I in sort of denial - does it get worse.?
So why am I dancing around to the Bee Gees and periodically admiring myself in the mirror? wtf!?
I am not used to this. Is this some sort of normal delayed shock ? Am I going to wake up tomorrow wanting to end it all?
I declined earlier to go to my sisters after she invited me because I want to face reality and not circumvent any pain coming my way.
I was much more upset earlier in the week when STBXAH said he would come round and help my son fix his computer - so long I 'wasn't there'! This is the person who has been sleeping in our bed with another woman till recently -whoa!
Meanwhile listening to 'Samantha Sang' listening to 'Just emotion' sounds so sweet - I feel like I am 14 again.
Anyway anybody know about this strange reaction of mine- am I in sort of denial - does it get worse.?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
I thought I would curl up and die from the empty nest syndrome . I had a really Hard time when the first of our 4 kids left. The second kid moved just around the block so that wasn't an issue. But when my TWINS were getting ready to leave for college at the same time, I started dreading it almost a year in advance....had crying jags...couldn't sleep, eat, etc..... But guess what....
My DH and I are having an absolute b.l.a.s.t!! That has been the biggest surprise to both of us.... I don't think you are in "denial", cr995. You still will have days you miss him terribly....but maybe you are realizing that there IS life after kids. ....at least that's been my
experience.
Enjoy!!
My DH and I are having an absolute b.l.a.s.t!! That has been the biggest surprise to both of us.... I don't think you are in "denial", cr995. You still will have days you miss him terribly....but maybe you are realizing that there IS life after kids. ....at least that's been my
experience.
Enjoy!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 598
Why question the joy - just enjoy it and dance you little butt off! I am sure you are super proud of him and he is still close so you can see him when you want! We are truly going thru the same stuff! My baby is 21 today and is moving out in August - my oldest already graduated and is working 3 hours away! You deserve to have a gret day and a great year! We will have to meet up in Vegas and party it up - we empty nester single ladies!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 336
Absolutely - I like the sound of Vegas!
I'm sure I'll wake up very tentatively 2moro wondering what on earth the day is going to bring. Even my son is expecting me to flip - he just sent me a text to say he's dropping off a few groceries for me later tonight!
I'm sure I'll wake up very tentatively 2moro wondering what on earth the day is going to bring. Even my son is expecting me to flip - he just sent me a text to say he's dropping off a few groceries for me later tonight!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
As an alcoholic in recovery, I had no
problems with both of my talented,
wonderful, smart, normal kids moving
out, living on campus, finishing college,
marrying and beginning a life for themselves.
With 22 yrs sobriety, I reflect back on my
25yrs. marriage, raising 2 wonderful kids
who are gifts from Above and my transition
from drinking to becoming sober. To all
the yrs. explaining to my family about
how important my recovery was for me
to the lack of understanding and communication,
a family unbalanced as the rest of the family
went on with their busy lives and I stayed
sober each day. I was called in life to be
a mother, wife at that time yrs ago and now,
today, another awesome gift of marriage, im
again almost empty nest as 2 of my cats just
recently passed away, also awesome gifts in
recovery I cared for for many yrs, one little
Love bird left, then it's just my husband and
I looking forward to experiencing more joy
and freedom in recovery riding on our Harley
enjoying more wonders of the world.
Empty nest sydrome for me is a new joy
and freedom to experience in recovery and
for more yrs. down the road.
problems with both of my talented,
wonderful, smart, normal kids moving
out, living on campus, finishing college,
marrying and beginning a life for themselves.
With 22 yrs sobriety, I reflect back on my
25yrs. marriage, raising 2 wonderful kids
who are gifts from Above and my transition
from drinking to becoming sober. To all
the yrs. explaining to my family about
how important my recovery was for me
to the lack of understanding and communication,
a family unbalanced as the rest of the family
went on with their busy lives and I stayed
sober each day. I was called in life to be
a mother, wife at that time yrs ago and now,
today, another awesome gift of marriage, im
again almost empty nest as 2 of my cats just
recently passed away, also awesome gifts in
recovery I cared for for many yrs, one little
Love bird left, then it's just my husband and
I looking forward to experiencing more joy
and freedom in recovery riding on our Harley
enjoying more wonders of the world.
Empty nest sydrome for me is a new joy
and freedom to experience in recovery and
for more yrs. down the road.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
(((((hugs)))))cr995
sometimes the anticipation of a life changing event is more stressful than the actual event. It happened and YOU are still his mom. Congrats on raising a child into a responsible young adult. An adult who is prepared to go make his own way in life, and the reason he is prepared........ he had a great teacher..... you, be proud...
Now as far as the STXAH........this to shall pass, feel what you are feeling, remember to breathe, and stay in your today. Sending you support.
sometimes the anticipation of a life changing event is more stressful than the actual event. It happened and YOU are still his mom. Congrats on raising a child into a responsible young adult. An adult who is prepared to go make his own way in life, and the reason he is prepared........ he had a great teacher..... you, be proud...
Now as far as the STXAH........this to shall pass, feel what you are feeling, remember to breathe, and stay in your today. Sending you support.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 222
Empty nester 3 yrs now. Love it. Freedom! I love being a mom...it is just nice for the 1st time in my adult life to not have to worry about making dinner, or whether I have a towel on when coming out of the shower. I dont have to be home after work or go home at all. It is amazing. I am proud of my daughter and proud of my empty nest status!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
