Some things I have learned
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Some things I have learned
For me 2012 was year of learning about my addiction and myself. I had more successes staying sober (one as long as 60 days) than I have had in over 10 years. I rang in the new year sober with all of these goals of being sober all year, only to drink on New Years Day (duh).
With barely a week under my belt of not drinking, I know this is only the tip of the iceburg. But with all of my successes and failures, here is what I have learned I need to keep myself from drinking each day (I realize that everyone is different, and AA or a Higher Power is not on my list right now, please do not judge
:
1) For me, during my craving times (after work on weekdays, earlier on weekends), I need to NOT be hungry. Hunger is a HUGE trigger for me for some reason. With that, I need to be sure my weekend meals are either already in the crockpot or I have something to snack on while I cook or driving home.
2) As much as I also want to lose weight, I need know that not drinking needs to be my first priority. I usually eat healthy (not much of a junk food eater) but I do overeat, and if I do, that is a lesser evil BY FAR than drinking, and I need to forgive myself
3) Exercise, but in moderation. I have found that if I begin to make exercise too important and stress about trying to squeeze it in when I really need time to sleep or go on SR or write, then the stress of it can backfire on me.
4) Have plenty of drinks that I enjoy in the house (herbal tea, diet soda, ,seltzer with cranberry, crystal lite, hot tea). If my only choice is water, I get frustrated and frustration leads to triggers.
5) Read spiritual, self-help, and recovery books- (always have new one on hand)- as well as going on SR daily. Knowing I am not alone in this really helps. And the support here is amazing.
6) Appreciate, notice, and feel every benefit of not drinking. A good night's sleep, waking up clear and "normal", relating more and better with my children, looking healthier..the list goes on and on and there are always new surprises.
7) Go easy on myself. If the house is a bit messy, but I am exhausted, I need to give my body what it needs. If all the to do items on my list don't get done, don't beat myself up, I did my best.
8) Always remember that staying sober is my #1 priority, for myself and all who love me.
9) Playing the tape to the end- Not a single relapse was worth it, why would this one be any different? During a craving, take the time to imagine buying the alcohol, trying to open and drink it without anyone hearing or seeing (that is SO much fun), feeling my face flush and my control diminish as I drink, then the loopiness, passing out, and finally the pain, guilt, shame, and horror of it all the next day.
It may not be a complete list, but these are some things that I have learned have helped me and I thought I would share. Good luck to all on this difficult journey. It is tough, but there is a new appreciation for life and for yourself on the other side- we need to fight for that because we deserve it.
With barely a week under my belt of not drinking, I know this is only the tip of the iceburg. But with all of my successes and failures, here is what I have learned I need to keep myself from drinking each day (I realize that everyone is different, and AA or a Higher Power is not on my list right now, please do not judge
: 1) For me, during my craving times (after work on weekdays, earlier on weekends), I need to NOT be hungry. Hunger is a HUGE trigger for me for some reason. With that, I need to be sure my weekend meals are either already in the crockpot or I have something to snack on while I cook or driving home.
2) As much as I also want to lose weight, I need know that not drinking needs to be my first priority. I usually eat healthy (not much of a junk food eater) but I do overeat, and if I do, that is a lesser evil BY FAR than drinking, and I need to forgive myself
3) Exercise, but in moderation. I have found that if I begin to make exercise too important and stress about trying to squeeze it in when I really need time to sleep or go on SR or write, then the stress of it can backfire on me.
4) Have plenty of drinks that I enjoy in the house (herbal tea, diet soda, ,seltzer with cranberry, crystal lite, hot tea). If my only choice is water, I get frustrated and frustration leads to triggers.
5) Read spiritual, self-help, and recovery books- (always have new one on hand)- as well as going on SR daily. Knowing I am not alone in this really helps. And the support here is amazing.
6) Appreciate, notice, and feel every benefit of not drinking. A good night's sleep, waking up clear and "normal", relating more and better with my children, looking healthier..the list goes on and on and there are always new surprises.
7) Go easy on myself. If the house is a bit messy, but I am exhausted, I need to give my body what it needs. If all the to do items on my list don't get done, don't beat myself up, I did my best.
8) Always remember that staying sober is my #1 priority, for myself and all who love me.
9) Playing the tape to the end- Not a single relapse was worth it, why would this one be any different? During a craving, take the time to imagine buying the alcohol, trying to open and drink it without anyone hearing or seeing (that is SO much fun), feeling my face flush and my control diminish as I drink, then the loopiness, passing out, and finally the pain, guilt, shame, and horror of it all the next day.
It may not be a complete list, but these are some things that I have learned have helped me and I thought I would share. Good luck to all on this difficult journey. It is tough, but there is a new appreciation for life and for yourself on the other side- we need to fight for that because we deserve it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New york
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by forabetterlife 
9) Playing the tape to the end- Not a single relapse was worth it, why would this one be any different? During a craving, take the time to imagine buying the alcohol, trying to open and drink it without anyone hearing or seeing (that is SO much fun), feeling my face flush and my control diminish as I drink, then the loopiness, passing out, and finally the pain, guilt, shame, and horror of it all the next day.
.
stay strong. we are all in this together
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
For me realising No.9 might be a tape several days, weeks or months long . The relapse to where i was might not happen instantly but it surely happens .
Thats what happend before in the last 20 years when i've had 6 weeks or 6 months sober and then gone back to it by "just having one" over time it always turns into complete out of control drinking .
Thanks forabetterlife ,
Bestwishes, M
Thats what happend before in the last 20 years when i've had 6 weeks or 6 months sober and then gone back to it by "just having one" over time it always turns into complete out of control drinking .
Thanks forabetterlife ,
Bestwishes, M
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
For me, and I'm only on day 27, the one important thing I would add is:
Talk to someone face-to-face honestly about your addiction.
If I couldn't talk to anyone, either my head would have exploded some time last week, or I'd be drinking again already. Hiding & isolating --> lying to self/others --> using (for me).
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Talk to someone face-to-face honestly about your addiction.
If I couldn't talk to anyone, either my head would have exploded some time last week, or I'd be drinking again already. Hiding & isolating --> lying to self/others --> using (for me).
--
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