Hello Day 1 again
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 4,045
I am here to offer all of you support and hope. Even though I have been sober for over 5 years I have done this 'one day at a time'.
Good luck to you all and congratulations on one day
Good luck to you all and congratulations on one day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 62
What went wrong with me is the same thing over and over again... I can't admit and accept that I have a problem. I still think that the next time I drink I wont have the blackouts, the throwing up, the being a stupid pain in the butt person.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Houston area
Posts: 607
Originally Posted by gall1972 
What went wrong with me is the same thing over and over again... I can't admit and accept that I have a problem. I still think that the next time I drink I wont have the blackouts, the throwing up, the being a stupid pain in the butt person.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 97
Gall, Pamel, LookingOut and HalfVictory - you are surely not alone. I fell into my old football habits yesterday watching the playoffs (Ravens!) What was going to be one became more than that quickly. Today I am feeling bad (physically and emotionally) and have no voice from screaming so loudly. No more booze in the house, so I am starting over again.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 908
Just jump straight back on the wagon again. I relapsed 2 days ago and i'm finally coming to the terms with the fact that I am an alcoholic. I've often thought about AA while drunk, but i'm planning on meeting someone from my local group this week.
For me it's not a case of wanting to do it, i'm in a battle for my life at the moment, it's took alot of relapsing and 'responsible drinking' to finally come to terms with that.
Stay strong, I know we can all do it
For me it's not a case of wanting to do it, i'm in a battle for my life at the moment, it's took alot of relapsing and 'responsible drinking' to finally come to terms with that.
Stay strong, I know we can all do it
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Good luck!
I am inspired by you all not giving up on yourselves.
Day one was an issue for me too. I could not get past hour one, as I actually needed some shots in my coffee to stop the shakes, and before it hit sometimes I would throw up and try again. For the last two years of my drinking that was every day all day. No I wasn't in the gutter or lost it all. Big success and good family. I never thought I would be an alcohol addicted person so dependent on it. I decided that the only way would be to get admitted to an in hospital detox with a follow on 28 day rehab. Turns out I just needed the detox. I swore if I ever broke free and could detox, get it out of my system, I would nevrr turn back and ever again do the daily promise to myself that I always broke and talked myself out of by celebrating my ten minute victory and decision to quit "tomorrow" by drinking to my quitting tomorrow today. I got out of detox, did AA and counseling for awhile, then at about three months sober, dropped back to just hanging around SR.
If you are always relapsing and in that cycle I was in, do something different this time. It makes no difference if the change that works for you is AA, here on SR, SMART, AVRT, abcdefg, whatever. Most keep it secret and don't even brief their MDeity in on it to help with honest info on amounts and issues. Or claim that going to counseling or AA will result in word getting out and cause job and family problems. Some of us hide it so well that we hear we don't have a "problem," we just need to cut back a little. If you are here reading you already played that denial game.
Just stop doing the same things, you always did, the way you always did them, and expecting different results. Break faith with your comfort zone! I have been where you are folks and it wasn't until I pulled out the stops more than two years ago that I was able to come out of the darkness. Willpower alone was never enough for me to break up with my partner alcohol. I needed local and online help and support. Money is not an issue. If you have it or insurance that covers it rehab is easy. If you don't have the money just google local detox and substance abuse programs and you will find the help you need, free if that is the only way in most cases.
I wish you the courage to do a lot more, and different things. Don't worry about word getting out, your friends who don't have an alcohol problem already know. Even the folks at work know when you are hungover. If you are not already drinking on the job. Folks all think they invented the vodka in a mouthwash bottle or coke or whatever. And your friends who do drink not only know, but depend on you to make them look "normal" by comparison. Don't we all compare ourselves and always manage to find someone who drinks more than we do, and thus say deep down that we are OK because we aren't that bad. Just add the word yet to that, because you will be if you keep practicing for the title worlds worst drunk.
I will leave that title for others to claim. I recovered and will never go back again. I don't miss it any more. I have my self respect back.
Whatever it takes, I wish you all the courage to find it, and do it. We will be here cheering you on. And remembering how great it felt when we knew we were making it early on. We are excited for you too!
I am inspired by you all not giving up on yourselves.
Day one was an issue for me too. I could not get past hour one, as I actually needed some shots in my coffee to stop the shakes, and before it hit sometimes I would throw up and try again. For the last two years of my drinking that was every day all day. No I wasn't in the gutter or lost it all. Big success and good family. I never thought I would be an alcohol addicted person so dependent on it. I decided that the only way would be to get admitted to an in hospital detox with a follow on 28 day rehab. Turns out I just needed the detox. I swore if I ever broke free and could detox, get it out of my system, I would nevrr turn back and ever again do the daily promise to myself that I always broke and talked myself out of by celebrating my ten minute victory and decision to quit "tomorrow" by drinking to my quitting tomorrow today. I got out of detox, did AA and counseling for awhile, then at about three months sober, dropped back to just hanging around SR.
If you are always relapsing and in that cycle I was in, do something different this time. It makes no difference if the change that works for you is AA, here on SR, SMART, AVRT, abcdefg, whatever. Most keep it secret and don't even brief their MDeity in on it to help with honest info on amounts and issues. Or claim that going to counseling or AA will result in word getting out and cause job and family problems. Some of us hide it so well that we hear we don't have a "problem," we just need to cut back a little. If you are here reading you already played that denial game.
Just stop doing the same things, you always did, the way you always did them, and expecting different results. Break faith with your comfort zone! I have been where you are folks and it wasn't until I pulled out the stops more than two years ago that I was able to come out of the darkness. Willpower alone was never enough for me to break up with my partner alcohol. I needed local and online help and support. Money is not an issue. If you have it or insurance that covers it rehab is easy. If you don't have the money just google local detox and substance abuse programs and you will find the help you need, free if that is the only way in most cases.
I wish you the courage to do a lot more, and different things. Don't worry about word getting out, your friends who don't have an alcohol problem already know. Even the folks at work know when you are hungover. If you are not already drinking on the job. Folks all think they invented the vodka in a mouthwash bottle or coke or whatever. And your friends who do drink not only know, but depend on you to make them look "normal" by comparison. Don't we all compare ourselves and always manage to find someone who drinks more than we do, and thus say deep down that we are OK because we aren't that bad. Just add the word yet to that, because you will be if you keep practicing for the title worlds worst drunk.
I will leave that title for others to claim. I recovered and will never go back again. I don't miss it any more. I have my self respect back.
Whatever it takes, I wish you all the courage to find it, and do it. We will be here cheering you on. And remembering how great it felt when we knew we were making it early on. We are excited for you too!
.. I know that I have to quit drinking..it has affected my life in so many negative ways...I am afraid to think what my "rock bottom" is if I have not already reached it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
I think most of us can identify with no wanting to accept the reality of out addiction Gall.
All of us wanted to believe that next time we drank we would 'control' it.
I finally accepted control is out of my hands - always.
Alcohol and I have a toxic relationship.
Once I drink I change, and all my good intent is lost.
It took me twenty years and nearly dying to accept that - be smarter than me Gall.
I really urge all of you on day one to think about what you can do differently this time to make this time 'stick'.
You can do it - there's a lot of support and ideas here
D
All of us wanted to believe that next time we drank we would 'control' it.
I finally accepted control is out of my hands - always.
Alcohol and I have a toxic relationship.
Once I drink I change, and all my good intent is lost.
It took me twenty years and nearly dying to accept that - be smarter than me Gall.
I really urge all of you on day one to think about what you can do differently this time to make this time 'stick'.
You can do it - there's a lot of support and ideas here
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 97
Originally Posted by Itchy
Good luck!
I wish you the courage to do a lot more, and different things. Don't worry about word getting out, your friends who don't have an alcohol problem already know. Even the folks at work know when you are hungover. If you are not already drinking on the job. Folks all think they invented the vodka in a mouthwash bottle or coke or whatever. And your friends who do drink not only know, but depend on you to make them look "normal" by comparison. Don't we all compare ourselves and always manage to find someone who drinks more than we do, and thus say deep down that we are OK because we aren't that bad. Just add the word yet to that, because you will be if you keep practicing for the title worlds worst drunk.
I wish you the courage to do a lot more, and different things. Don't worry about word getting out, your friends who don't have an alcohol problem already know. Even the folks at work know when you are hungover. If you are not already drinking on the job. Folks all think they invented the vodka in a mouthwash bottle or coke or whatever. And your friends who do drink not only know, but depend on you to make them look "normal" by comparison. Don't we all compare ourselves and always manage to find someone who drinks more than we do, and thus say deep down that we are OK because we aren't that bad. Just add the word yet to that, because you will be if you keep practicing for the title worlds worst drunk.
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