OCDDan

There must be a way for me to feel good without drinking/drugging, I know twice in the last two weeks I was a good Samaritan, one time it was helping a complete stranger who was locked out of her running vehicle and then yesterday I helped an older woman who’s car doors were frozen shut, I got her door open and scrapped the ice and snow off her car and she was so appreciative, so I know that makes me feel good about myself, but I’m just wondering, what thing’s make you happy about yourself? I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to kick my addictions but I have made an effort to cut down on the damaging effects of all this partying, I really want to live a healthier life and I feel I need a solid plan, and even if I cut the damages in half, life will be better. So what kind of things make you happy and content? I really feel the days of drinking to oblivion are going to be a problem soon. Thanks, love you guys

foodie1

Hi OCDDan, I think you hit the nail on the head as far as what you can do that gives you lasting happiness and contentment: give to others. For me, I choose AA as my recovery method, and with that comes working the 12 steps. I've found the happiness and contentment I'd been missing in that work. The steps drive me to search myself, challenge myself, grow and then give back. I've never been happier.

I hope you find your happiness, it sounds like your heart's leading you on the right path!

OCDDan

yea, Imagine helping to save a life, i would guess it doesn't get any better than that, thanks Foodie

hamabi

I wanted to not be alcoholic so much that I stopped for several months before drinking horribly again. Being so very good I couldn't possibly be alcoholic was another. Lots more attempts to alter this thing we've got without really changing or doing much of anything.

Wish you better luck than I had with all that.

OCDDan

Hamabi,
That's pretty much what's happening with me, I stop drinking, but just stopping doesn't solve the problem for me, I'll probably drop into a few meetings if for nothing less than some human contact. I hope you find your way as well, D

bjames

Just an idea... maybe sign up for some volunteer work where you will make a regular commitment to be there. Show up, on time and sober and not hungover, and tell yourself that had you been drinking, you wouldn't be there to help those who need and depend on you.

hamabi

I once believed that methods were of far more importance than results, but I changed my mind about that and went after the results I wanted while simultaneously disregarding my opinion of the methods involved. That decision was a long time ago now but it was then key in my making a good beginning.

Your plan sounds like a good beginning too.

OCDDan

maybe I could volunteer at a hospital, thanks, that has been on my mind as a possibility. helping someone in need would probably be satisfying

hypochondriac

I think I tried a million different ways to try and be happy and continue drinking. It just didn't work for me. My drinking overshadowed any positives in my life. Getting rid of it hasn't been easy but it has been worth it to live without the shame and guilt and just the constant obsession. I know harm reduction works for some people but I really had to just concentrate on being sober to make me happy. I'm still trying to work out what will keep me happy on top of that and volunteering is the only thing which I think will help.

GirlFromCO

Hey Dan. I think you're aiming a bit low. Cut the damages in half? Why don't you cut the damages completely? We've known each other on this site for a while. I remember when you got sober. You loved it. You can do that again.

doggonecarl

You want to come up with a plan, OC?

Consider ditching one that contains the words cut down, control, moderate. It doesn't work for us, not in the long run. Yes, it's an improvement, but I don't think we truly heal until we are drug and alcohol free.

As for helping others, great. But help yourself first.

OCDDan

hi Hypo and GirlFromCo, I guess I'm afraid to fail again, ultimatly complete abstinance would be ideal and think that could be possible, I guess I'm taking baby steps or half measures, I went to a Christmas partly last night with all my drinking friends, I was the last one awake and didn't black out, that doesn't mean much tho, I'm just trying to ease myself into the right direction and if could kick it for good, i would be so happy, I've just failed so, so many times, I'm turning fifty five next mo. thanks for keeping things on the positive side and i really do appreciate your thoughts, and i do believe in a higher power..

OCDDan

good advice my man, Rule 1 don't drink and drive, after that, I'm just powerless, optimistic that i can come up with something that works, and hoping you guys can help me. thanks

GirlFromCO

People older than you and drunker than you have done it. You can too.

hypochondriac

It's natural to be scared of failure (it's my no.1 fear) but in a way that can help you and make you more determined. Think about the reasons why you might have relapsed before and work on that. Was there anything that you think hindered you or anything you think you could do differently? It's all a work in progress, don't beat yourself up and keep moving in the right direction x

freshstart57

If you don't accept that you are no longer a drinker, ever, then you still have that shame and guilt that went along with drinking addictively. If you are only sober for now but not for good, you will still consider yourself at risk of relapse until the day you die. How can anyone be truly free and happy like that? There will always be something that you need to do, some criterion that needs to be met, and the constant effort that goes into that, all because you haven't quit drinking for good.

I hear 'willing to do anything to stay sober' thrown about. How about quit drinking forever? You really can do it. When you do make that forever decision, you will have this huge feeling of relief and freedom to be you and all that can mean. You can be happy.

OCDDan

for that I can't wait, I would love to be sober and happy, it just takes me a while to be sure i have a plan, I'd really like to know what makes you all happy, but for now, I'm going to a friends house to watch football, I'll be there overnight, thank you all so much for talking with me, it means so much, D

Coldfusion

Yeah, it's time.

I'm fifty. Here's what finally worked for me; The first week dry was hell, so I was in a detox place; since getiing out, it is AA every day.

Sapling

Here is a simple plan for you Dan. See if you can do 90 AA meetings in 90 days. Just go and listen...One hour a day. And don't drink in between them.... Read the Big Book and find someone that has worked the program that's in it..And ask them to show you what they did....It's simple...It's free...And it works...I guess the question is....Are you willing to do it?