jazzfish

Hi, I am 45 and had enough with drinking. I've known I have a problem with drinking for decades, but was young enough to absorb the abuse without too much consequence (besides hangovers). After 40, it began to spiral out of control both physically and mentally. I went through a period of several years where I drank very heavily, but then backed down. I have had the intention to take a break from drinking to give my body time to heal, but was never able to manage more than a few days. My alcoholism is marked not by volume but by obsession, compulsion, misery, declining physical and mental health, and a seeming inability to leave it alone. I am hoping to find support, inspiration, and guidance here in order to achieve permanent sobriety. Thanks!

GWH

Jazz, you are in the right place, and you are among friends.

I am 12 days sober for many of the same reasons. My body started to rebel against me. I had to listen to it, and I couldn't have done so without the love and support of the people on this forum. They're wonderful and kind. We run the gamut from smokers to tequila lovers, and we're always here.

Read through the threads, hear the stories. It's helpful.

Again, welcome. You can do it. You have my support.

milly4me

Welcome from another 40 something newbie! I completely understand what you are saying about your body just not being able to take it anymore. I'm right there with you.

I think you are going to like it here.

PaperDolls

Wow, I feel like you wrote my story except that I finally stopped at 33. I would be dead by now if I hadn't or at the very least, I would have ended up jobless, homeless, on the streets. I really believe that. I didn't until after I got sober and looked back at how things were going. I was on a one-way trip to death and I absolutely could not see it while I was in it.

I'm sorry for how you're feeling but I'm glad you found us here. You'll find some great support.

I completely agree, this has nothing to do with volume .... it has everything to do with having no say in how much I drink once I pick the first one up. After the first drink, it was out of my hands. There was no telling what would happen. And then the next day, I promised myself I wouldn't do it again. I always did.

Until I got some help, I couldn't quit. I hated having to admit defeat and ask for help but I know now it's the only thing that saved my life.

2granddaughters

You pretty well described my life .... I was 45 when I finally collapsed and surrendered to Alcoholics Anonymous.

AA has given me many years of sobriety, sanity and serenity.

All the best.

Bob R

MIRecovery

52 for me but some of us learn quicker than others. AA simply gave me a life that is better than I could have imagined

TTBABP

Welcome jazzfish. I too see myself in your post - age and all.

bbthumper

And 25 for me. AA did the trick. So much more than just not drinking.

Quinne

Welcome, jazzfish

It sounds like your insight into what alcohol does to you is actually a tremendous gift. I too, understand the suffering, the obsession, the whole kit & caboodle-as many of us here do-and you've come across an invaluable community Do you have a plan at this stage?

Xx

instant

Jazzfish. welcome. Our journey's have marked similarities. When I was ready to stop I came to see that I was in too deep. So many false starts and failed promises to myself. The struggle and the torment got to me more than anything else.

I am now 19 months sober and it is the best thing. It can be done and it is worth it. I am now living again.

andisa

44 and tired of the fight. Not too old to learn and change though. Gotta start first, to begin.

Coldfusion

Fifty years old, 50 days sober, and five days on this forum.

Jazzfish, you've been an SR member for a year--it took me a year after my first hospitalization. Three days of involuntary evaluation; I hit a bar within 30 minutes of release. Halloween this year started seven days of detox, and my first destination on release was an AA meeting.

ru12

Hi Jazz,

Two years ago I was in the same place as you. I just stopped drinking and got on with life. Been sober since. There are lots of ways to stop drinking.

whiskeyman

I am 46 with two kids. Single dad
AA saved my life. AFter trying every imagineable method to quit including AA i thought i would give it one more try. i put the same amount of effort into AA as i did my drinking and i came out the other end joyous and free

Quinne

Double post, oops

jazzfish

Thanks for everybody's feedback. To clarify, I joined here about a year ago and only remembered that fact this morning when I used the same email to re-register. I am trying to become acquainted with this site, but it is a bit overwhelming. My current plan is to not drink and start focusing on/creating healthier and more creative activities for my life. Aside from that, I have no prescribed plan. I know I need to be engaged in some active support as it is far too easy for me to go on autopilot and end up drinking again. Any advice or guidance on next steps with this forum are welcome.

BarrysMama

Best wishes to you, jazz I am back to ''day1'', today, myself, and it hurts so badly knowing I've screwed up yet again and have to start back at square one..again...but just like you, I have simply had enough of this abuse on myself, and I am right there with you on that! You are going to do just fine..sounds like you have hit a point where it's your time God Bless and keep us posted on how things go for you-

CanKicker

Best of luck, Jazz.

Dee74

Welcome to the posting side of things Jazzfish

I recommend joining the Class of December thread - it's for everyone who quit this month - there's a ton of support there.

You'll find it in this forum too - just scroll down on the main Newcomers forum page

D

Eseilenna

At 49 I too relate to your story Jazz. Knowing I was a long term heavy drinker and gradually realizing my control had disappeared. Telling myself twenty times I am not going to walk into the bottlo... and somehow eerily seeing myself walk in there. Watching the physical and mental decline in yourself is scary.