AussieAlco

Hello alcoholic friends, I know that posts regarding suicide are frowned upon on this forum (Like masturbating on an aeroplane), but jeez, I just gotta let it out.

I am so god damn depressed. I feel so different to everyone other person my age (I am 17). I work around 45 hours a week at a major airline in Australia, and I am so god damn depressed. Its like I start work at 4am, finish at 12, drink drink drink till 11pm, go to sleep, and repeat.

I moved out of home when I was 15, and my parents arn't even in the country anymore. Its like they don't even know me.
I have a twin sister who is addicted to drugs.
****, I don't blame her, I smash ridiculous amount of codeine per week.
I would do ANYTHING to escape reality. I never get drunk or on drugs at work because I work in a security sensitive area, and I never want to put anyones life in danger;also I could lose my job.

Someone at work actually said to me today "Everyone already hates you here" in front of these cute flight attenadants, I was so upset I just cruised home and smashed a bottle of Jameson.
Gawd dammit im hammered right now.

For me, it feels like I don't belong in this world.
I promised myself that I would hang myself on Christmas Day.
I know if I drive drunk again I will wrap myself around a tree...

...Have you ever felt EXTREME lonliness??
Where literally you have nobody but yourself?
Its such a horrible feeling. I seem like a whinger, and sorry for that my friends.
I'm sure you have. ****, we were all once/are addicts to some sort of substance on this forum.
I'm sure we've all more than once considered ending our own lives.

Sorry if my post didn't make a whole lot of sense. I am infact drunk at the moment, and am trying my best.

Hey....Cheers.
-Lachlan, 17 year old male from Cairns, a little bit lost.

Dee74

hey Lachlan

The good thing about being an Aussie is there a lot of help out there
If things are that bad you really need some trained advice and these guys can help.

Salvos Care Line
24 hr counselling- 1300 36 36 22
* Counselling Service
* Domestic Violence
* Drugs & Alcohol
* Financial Troubles
* Problem Gambling, and more.
Overview » Drugs & Alcohol » Need Help? » salvos.org.au

Kids Helpline (to age 25)
free, confidential and anonymous, 24-hour telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged between 5 and 25 on all issues including relationships, abuse, homelessness, suicidal thoughts, and drug and alcohol usage.
Phone: 1800 55 1800 (free call from landline)
Kids Helpline

Lifeline
24 hr counselling. All Issues.
Phone: 13 11 14 (cost of local call from landline)
Lifeline Australia - Home


Crisis Chat - Lifeline
https://www.lifeline.org.au/Find-Hel...es/crisis-chat

This service is available 8pm - midnight 7 days a week
(EST 1 April - 4 October)
(EDT 5 October - 31 March)

If the service appears 'offline' or 'busy', please call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Suicide Call Back Service
Phone: 1300 659 467
Seven days a week, 10am - 8.30pm (EST) to speak to Suicide Call back Service counsellors. After hours calls are answered by SuicideLine (VIC) counsellors.
Crisis Support Services

You'll find a lot of support here too - none of us are professionals here, but we can listen and share our experience about addiction and the lows it can take us too.

I know what it's like to feel despair and to think that the way we feel today is the way we'll always feel, but I can tell you from experience that's not the case, Lachlan.

There's some really good reading in this link too...please do at least look at it
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

there's a ton of support here - you're not alone
talk to us

D

AussieAlco

Thanks friend.
I'm glad you mentioned the word 'despair'.
Thats the perfect word for how I feel right now.

Applecrumble

Lachlan, once you get sober and clean, you will find those unmanageable feelings become easily manageable. Really and honestly.

This is a great place to find support with doing that. First stop drinking and we can be there for you

Lenina

Lachian,

Our Dee has given some very good advice. Please take advantage of the services your great country offers. honestly, I wouldn't do my teen years or twenties for anything, they are rough times with body chemistry running wild. I think that if I'd been about to get some meaningful help at your age, my life might have be different. Less hard, I suspect.

Check out the links, hang with us here on SR and get to know us. read the stickies at the tops of the forums. we'd like to get to know you better too!

Love from Lenina

AussieAlco

Thank you too the 3 people that replied.
It makes my heart warm that people that don't even know me still have the heart to respond to my thread and actually offer me support.

Its a shame that the world isn't like us.

I guess us substance abusers stick together because we know whats like to go through hell, hey!

You guys are awesome, and I am happy to have this little escape from this world called SOBERECOVERY.

Cheers, Lachie.

Dee74

I think the world is actually pretty good - you just have to pick your mates....
Only took me 40 years to work that one out Lachie

This is a great place tho - and it's good you're here...

D

Lenina

Lachie,

Yes, we do stick together who else can understand the insanity of our addictions? I know I felt so less alone when I found others like me. Others who had found ways to get better and find peace and contentment in their lives. and we can have that contentment and peace too.

I'm glad you've found us.

Love from Lenina

coraltint

it gets better pretty quickly when you put the plug in the jug matey.

do they have young people's meetings in QLD ? The ones here are pretty cool...like you said, "us substance abusers stick together because we know whats like to go through hell" . We've all been somewhere similar to where your head is now.....

D104

Im in Australia to hunz. And I travel to cairns a lot for work. It's awesome to see someone so close, sort of feels like I'm not alone on this massive island.
Guess what, I'm into my 2nd bottle of vino (not proud so no judgement please) but even whilst I am half cut I am capable of thinking to myself "I don't want this".
My quit date is 1 jan 13 and by golly it will happen.
Take care fellow Aussie and keep unleashing your emotions on here xxxxxx

kiwi1971

I'm in Australia as well, although originally your cousin from across the ditch. It sounds like you are really alone, and thats never a good thing. If you're not alone though and have any friends that you can trust, then it may be a good thing to talk to someone that you know will support and be 100% there for you. If not there is some great advice posted earlier from Dee....give it some serious thought.

I'll pray for you.

AussieAlco

I did go to ATODS by the Queensland Government Health department but they treated me like a drug addict (Ie entered me into the system)
so I sorted flipped em off.

Hey guys, I just wanted to say, that even though my life is pretty such a hell hole, Its is a pleasure to be around people that know what im going through.
Maybe we can help each other.
Maybe.

Ssdawg1422

Hey bro! I'm glad that you joined the forum and reached out. As you've already seen, we are caring individuals. Its not uncommon to feel completely hopeless when you're lost in the mean streets of addiction. I of course encourage you to reach out further to professionals who can help you work out your feelings. Also share what you have with us with your doctor so he can help you recover safely. Im pulling for ya man. You have your whole life ahead of you and many great memories yet to make. You were brave enough to come here. Now you've built yourself a team of people who will support you and believe you can achieve happiness. God bless and hope to hear from you soon.

AussieAlco

Thank you pal. I appreciate your words of encouragement (as well as everyone elses).
What amazing forum.
You guys are actively helping me through a difficult time though my life, and for that, I thank you.

I ****** up life up, but hopefully someday my beautiful girl & little girl can live a better life than I never lived.

Ssdawg1422

You have a gf? And a little? That's cool. All the more reason to turn this around. Not too late to do it at all. Tell us about them. Also you haven't ****ed up your life. You can't think of it in those terms. Like us you've made some not so great decisions that lead to where you are in this moment. Things get much brighter as you begin taking the steps to resolve you circumstance.

NevarCiots

Hi Aussiealco! Greetings from New Mexico Usa. I joined here on SR last week and the responses and feedback, the similar "starting over" stories kept me coming back. I feel great, think before you act, keep posting and communicating with us! You give me support, you might not know it Aussiealco you do.

Honest advice, us drinkers can always make things worse. Make the right choices from here on, smile even though you dont feel like it, and just SURViVE. We care about you! Stay in touch!

Dee74

Lachlan

You're 17 - your lifes not over...it's just beginning

I drank and drugged for almost twice as long as you've been alive.
I was 40 when I turned my life around...

it's never too late

D

D104

Thanks kiwi. For a minute there I thought my post was not helpful I'm not "clean" yet. But I do know the emotions and horrid thoughts that invade ones mind. Not nice. And I can give insight (somewhat) to those who haven't quite given in to sobriety yet

Soberween

Everyone already LOVES you here. Look at all your responses. Someone saying the opposite of that to you is disgusting, but that statement by that person is more indicative of a what a shattered soul they must have. It has little to do with you. Keep coming back, we are here to help each other.

renaldo

I've felt that way, but please don't drink and drive. It will cost you a lot monetarily, and you might get in an accident. A squirming brain and being behind the wheel is a recipe for disaster.

You're doing the right thing by coming here and you're still young. I didn't consult help at your age. Everyone else was getting plastered, so a blackout was nothing out of the ordinary.

It was the Peter Frampton and the Disco Duck era. I was a teenager in Iran and could buy grain alcohol and prescription drugs without a prescription. And chunks of hash the size of my hand for a pittance. It's a wonder how I never broke a bone, because I fell flat on my face a number of times. Vodka and barbiturates puts you out of commission pretty quickly... passing out in the fire I started - literally.

You're not alone dude. Please sleep it off and don't drive.