NEOMARXIST

Hi all and good to 'see' some of the old name's still here and the new ones too!

Just a quick post about something that I'm currently thinking about after reading a few threads etc: The capacity to be honest is huge in getting sober and recovering. Certainly when thinking about one's drinking then it is the ability to really and truly get honest about how alcohol affects 'you', the real reasons you drink, the feelings you get after taking a few drinks, and loss of control over how much you drink and your actions when drinking. These can all show you where you and your drinking will end up if you carry on, if you have the capacity to be totally honest.

Of course the nature of addiction is that thinking is unclear and rationalisation of one's drinking means that 'I'm not as bad as him' etcetcetc. I think this can be especially prevalent getting sober in your 20's as it would be easy to compare to other's who you handpick because they appear 'worse'. But ultimately is it worth letting things get so bad that you become one of those people who somebody else isn't as bad as? It's all relative anyway, I know for me then I would have been dead long before I was drinking on the streets homeless as my aspirations in life were high in my formative years and my mental health wouldn't have been able to cope and I was depressed enough as it was.

I am glad that I could get honest and can still remain honest about my drinking and people often comment on how candid I am about "what I'm like". I am grateful for this and I enjoy telling my story if people wish to hear it and honesty has served me well and is the bedrock of recovery, certainly for me anyway. I am grateful for my acceptance of being an alcoholic and knowing this is what enabled me to recover. I have never had a problem with the term and feel it has been wholly positive for me in my recovery - for me then I knew I had to eliminate any leverage whatsoever that I could ever drink again and experience positive effects etc - knowing I'm alcoholic helped me do this and it is by getting honest about my drinking and my thinking when not drinking, helped me to see beyond doubt that I was/am alcoholic. I've nothing to be afraid of about the 'label' unless I wish to drink again, but at least I know where it'll end up.

Anyway, just though I'd get some stuff outthere and as it's the 'newcomers' section my post is aimed at drinking alcohol as this ultimately is of most relevance when coming to terms with getting sober. As you progress then recovery simply becomes about living in a manner which brings you happiness and thoughts of drinking/the drink problem is no more, and that is the beauty of it all!

Getting honest can save much inevitable future pain...

andisa

I appreciate, greatly, input from those who have found success in recovery. Good to hear from you here.

Thinking much, again, about what to do to move forward from this place where I'm so often stuck, it occurs to me that not getting honest, primarily with myself, is likely the biggest force holding me back. Drugs, and thinking about drugs, and allowing them to affect oneself, can be so powerfully distorting to rational, clear, and honest thought. It's a conniving trap!

But there is a way out, and everyone has the ability to choose that freedom.

Dee74

absolutely agree with all you said

good to see you again Neo

D

dedubya

Thanks Neo.
I think you nailed it. One thing to kind of add although you said it, something that has eluded me for many years. Honesty with myself was totally where I missed it. Good stuff my friend.
Dub

Sapling

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

The first time I read that I could see what part honesty would play in recovery....I know I couldn't have done it without it. I lied to myself for way too many years. Glad you're back.

BoozeFree

Great post.

I def use to think " well hey I'm not as bad as that person" and was in denial for years that I even had a problem bc I was surrounded by other people partying just as much as me. It wasn't till I actually sat down and realized that waking up n grabbing a beer to function wasn't normal and I am totally powerless over alcohol.

NEOMARXIST

Thanks for the messages and good to see you all too

Sobriety and recovery = playing the long game. The future is bright!

Drinking = there is no future other than more drinking to block out the unhappiness caused by drinking.

Peace

hypochondriac

Great post Neo

You explain it much better than in the Big Book. I was always confused by that constitutionally incapable bit. I was an honest person, I prided myself on it. However my thoughts surrounding drinking were a bit more hazy. Rationalising and making excuses were/is my dishonesty.

artsoul

Hi Neo and thanks for the great post!

Hevyn

Missed you Neo. Even when you were struggling, your posts were always insightful. Yes, honesty for us is essential, yet it alluded me for decades. I'm so happy you've reached this conclusion early on, even though the journey was harrowing.

quitforme79

Well said!