itsvally13

Today was a pretty good day. While I still think of him every minute of the day, I realized something. I don't think it is him that I miss, but I miss what we had. I miss the closeness I had with him, sharing everything with him. But in reality, I never really knew the "real" him because he was addicted to pills the entire three years we were together without my knowledge. I don't know the real man I fell in love with, I fell in love with an active addict. It's kind of scary when I think about it.

There is still a lot of pain inside and I think that's because I thought I was in love with a non-addict. I fell in love in my mind with someone who wasn't addicted to drugs and that's the part that has to heal. I think this is one step forward because I have accepted the fact that I can't be with an addict, it doesn't matter if he is in active recovery or not because of what he stole from me emotionally, and monetarily. These things will heal with time! Right now, it's time to focus on me. I have to learn how to be happy without "someone" there to make me happy. I'm learning to take it one day at a time, but today I think was a step in the right direction

coraltint

crazybabie

That is some awesome awareness keep on keeping on your doing good.

Kindeyes

One little step at a time.......that's how it's done.

Good for you!

gentle hugs
ke

LoveMeNow

Sounds like your on the right path.

Keep working on you so when you are ready, you will pick and attract healthy people. Addicts are very perceptive, they know who will enable them.

helpme33

So many people covered for my exAH and I was in deep denial. I was learning things about him years later and I still did not want to believe them. It hurts to face the truth and in my case I saw what I wanted him to be, not what he actually was. How could we be deceived for so long?

I see so many people (some that I love very much) get out of one bad relationship and quickly get into another that is just as bad.

We need time to heal and to think about what we really want in a relationship. I am a huge fan of therapy. I took a T. Robbins seminar and his advice was to make a list of every detail we wanted in a partner and read it often, then our subconsious gravitates toward that type of person. It's like making a plan for our furture, not just taking anything that comes along.

I wanted one like John Walton lol!!!