Wastinglife

Hi everyone,
I guess I need some advice from people who can understand. I recently messed up huge. I relapsed over the last week after 8 months sober. I went to rehab earlier this year after 6 years of alcoholic drinking. I lost my job during this period and then blew through my savings before finally seeking help.

Things were good after rehab and I quickly got a job and an apartment. 10 days ago I received word that I got a new job I had interviewed for and a few co-workers took me out for a farewell dinner on a Thursday night. For some inexplicable reason, I had a beer. My co-workers did not know that I don't drink.
That first beer lead to a 4 day bender where I spent my entire rent check, over $1000.

Monday morning I went to my new job, thinking I could act normal. Things were fine the first half of the day. In the afternoon however, I started to sweat and then the smell of booze started coming off me and people noticed. I was asked by my new boss if I was drinking and I told I was the night before. Needless to say, I was fired my first day. Bad first impression.

Now I have no job and no rent money. I received a notice from my landlord to pay up by the 19th or eviction proceedings will start.

I don't have the money and will have to ask my father who has been paying my rent since I left rehab until I get back on my feet. My dad already wired December's rent to me and I spent it. I don't really remember much over those 4 days.

Should I just come clean with my father? This is gonna kill him.

Any advice will be appreciated.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm sorry for your situation. It sounds like a really tough time for you.

I don't know if you should talk to your father or not? Do you have other options and can you find a way to get through this on your own?

Please keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

nogard

Welcome to SR

Thats tough, but the most important thing is to not drink and as to the rest I agree with Anna

Hooped

Wow, sounds rough for you.
Is there any chance you could go back to your old job?
Welcome to SR by the way and regardless of what you end up doing you will find lots of support here.

pipparina

First, don't drink.
Only you can know whether to talk to your dad, since we have no idea of your relationship. I guess if it were me, and I was stuck, I would.
Do you understand after this that it is the first drink that gets us drunk?

Mafalda

Hello. Maybe think about what led you to get sober last time ? If you were able to do it before then you can do it again! I think you must come clean with your dad but you can expect him to not trust you until you prove to him again you can be trusted.

Sasha4

I would exhaust other avenues first.....such as asking for your old job back, trying to find another fast.

I imagine you are very worried.
Drinking never helps.
It only makes things worse.

To me, your post shows how important it is to stay away from that first drink.
Things seem to have spiralled down hill quite fast for you from that first beer with colleagues.
I myself have had to enforce a rule on myself that drinking and work never, ever mix.
It's just not worth it in the long run.
I lead a simple life now, perhaps it's a bit boring, but I just do not trust myself to celebrate with a drink. It has the potential to take me to a place I do not want to go to.
The few hours of an artificial induced high can have a life long impact for me and others. I know this might sound dramatic, but really I can do without the drama.

I hope you get it sorted out, I really do.

Wastinglife

Thanks everyone for your responses. I am on the verge of a panic attack and havent slept in two days. I havent drank in two days either, so i am currently sober. I've had darker days. I am just so depressed and upset with myself. My family has supported me through the past few years and I've let them down.

Maylie

Welcome to SR. I'm sorry that a time that was supposed to be filled with joy has so quickly gotten under control.

Is there anyway you could go to your old job and just tell them the new one didn't work out and get that job back? or apply for a new job even if it isn't an ideal job, any type of money coming in is better than none.

As for talking to your dad, I would talk to my mom if I was out of options. It is always best to tell the truth in situations like this. It might take awhile to gain his trust back, but if he has been supportive so far I'm sure you can work past this.

The number one thing to do right now is not to drink and to take care of yourself. The past is the past and all we can do is move forward.

hugs

Maylie

Hooped

I agree it's best to tell the truth as far as your family is concerned.
Myself, if I thought my kid was seriously trying, I would help any way that I could.
But if I suspected she was going to blow it on booze or drugs, I wouldn't give her a dime.
Some things only time can heal.
But you're here, and you're not drinking today, and that in itself is awsome!
You'll get by this somehow.

TTBABP

If you family is that supportive why would you not want to be completely honest with them? I say get support wherever you can.

Dee74

Welcome WL
I'm really sorry you're in this situation.

whether you get the money from your family or some other kind of aid, I really hope you can sort something out - at least then you can start putting things back together.

You;ll find a lot of support here too
D

Delilah1

I am sorry that all of that happened. If you are close with your dad I would be honest. Also, maybe you can let your old boss know things didn't work out, have they already filled your old position?

I will be thinking about you.

Cwbugycody

Welcome to SR. I am sorry about your situation and hard times. That being said I would not ask your dad for help. In my case as long as there was somebody willing to bail me out , I seemed to keep blowing it. Once I had ruined all my relationships and had nobody to turn to that's when it became real to me. As long as I knew I had somebody else to use ,I did. That is said to say ,but very true. Now that I am clean and sober (only 46 days) I can see how much I counted on them . I am proud that you have not drank today. Now don't drink tomarrow, and get out there and find a job . You got your self into this mess ,now get your self out of it. I hope you don't take all this the wrong way. I have been in your shoes several times and through the grace of God made it somehow. Pray on it and trust your higher power to take care of you. I truly wish the best and hope you keep us updated. I will be praying for you and your recovery. Please understand this is only my opinion and hope you find your own way. Easy does it! Just for today!

DisplacedGRITS

well, i don't know the exact nature of your relationship with your dad but if your dad wants to help you then if you ask for help you've gotta be 100% honest with what happened. also, if you ask for help i would recommend that you be going to AA meetings or something like that as well. you owe it to your dad and yourself to be doing everything possible for yourself and your sobriety. since you were so new at the job you may not be able to get it back so start putting out applications everywhere you can. take a lesser job to get by if that's what you have to do while looking for a better job but become self sufficient as soon as possible. do you need to go back to rehab? maybe. what's obvious is that whatever you were doing for your sobriety wasn't working so you either need to add to it or change whatever plan you were working. had you become complacent? it happens a lot. figure out what you need to do to get your sobriety back on track and make that a priority up there with getting another job. you're going to bounce back from this and with a lot of wisdom gained.

Wastinglife

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I guess my situation reinforces the fact that I cannot drink...ever. I really have no idea how i spent $1000 in 4 days. I remember taking various taxis around to different bars and sitting at home drinking. I tend to go off on drunken adventures alone when i drink and I am the type to buy rounds of drinks for complete strangers. I just cannot control myself. I am glad that I didnt get arrested on this bender as I have in the past.

I hate this disease. I want to have a normal life with a wife and kids, but I can't even manage my own life. I think I will go to an AA meeting tomorrow.

Cwbugycody

AA step one is admitting your are powerless over alcohol and your life is unmanageable . That's not word for word but close. One drink is to much and a thousand is never anuff . We addicts can't have just one. We just can't control it. While we are in recovery our addiction is doing push ups just waiting for us to slip, then there it is again stronger then ever. Please hit a meeting ,find a sponsor ,work the steps, and lean on your higher power. Stay strong and hold your head up.

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome to SR, Wastinglife. I'm sorry that you hit a rough spot. It really is true- the first drink gets us drunk. I don't know your dad obviously but I expect that being honest is your best bet. He may be disappointed but he may understand that it's a process.

Stay sober! As bad as things are now, you've probably realized that they could get even worse. Drinking has a way of doing that to folks like us.

jobei

Thanks for this post! It really struck a nerve when I read it because I'm around the same 8-9 months sober and that first drink would do the exact same thing to me. You're not alone or abnormal. Many of us suffer with the same problem with alcohol and it is difficult to overcome. You blew 1000 bucks which is bad but it's just money in the grand scheme of things. Like you said, you didn't get hurt or arrested or hurt anyone else. That being said, I bet you understand that things could get a lot worse if you drink again? Try to get out to an AA meeting and tell some other alcoholics face to face what is going on with you. I bet that will help! Take care...

ACT10Npack

Wastinglife, sorry about you're situation. I can completely understand losing my new job on the first day (Well more like I didn't come in). I called in sick because I was on a bender. This happen last year. I was not able to drive to work and after the twice day, they said not to come in. Really suck for me and I kept drinking for the next few days until. I got a new job a few months later. Things will get better if you can stop drinking. I relapse 4 times this year and going to make it my last for now.

If your family is supportive then why not tell them about you're problem. Keep get you the right help more so a place to stay until you get yourself back on your feet. Life does get better after you stop drinking. That's a fact!