squeek

Do you think about it every day? I'm wondering if I think about NOT drinking as much as I thought about drinking. If so, that really bad because I think about not drinking all day. Not drinking (and not contacting old lovers). I just don't remember thinking about having a drink. But then again, I guess I can recall several work days saying Is it Miller Time??? And it'd be 9:30am. Does the "process" of drinking become just as habitual as the drinking itself? Routines? Courses of action that lead to celebration of the drink.

Dee74

I spent years thinking about drinking so it seemed natural to think about not drinking in the same way for a while....

You will break through to a new 'normal' tho, where you don't really think of either

Stick with it squeek

D

carvel

Some days I think about drinking... but then I replay my last spree/detox and remind myself that I'm an alkie.

It is a habit to have a drink in your hand. Now I drink citrus flavored sparkling waters (all day long). Buy them by the case like I use to buy beer.

Grimes

i sure as hell think about it everyday. but im still fairly new to sobriety. i thought about drinking a lot when i was hung over to quit feeling like crap. but after work it was more of im gonna drink so i didnt think about it too much.


edit: haha carvel, ive been buying gatorade by the case

Delilah1

I still think about not drinking various times throughout the day. I hope that will fade with time. I am also obsessed with counting days still (51 today). Guess both of these are better than counting drinks or hangovers!

rainyengland

Counting days !! Yep obsessed with that also - I go to bed and count Saturday 1,Sunday 2,Monday 3- I hope I'm not doing that 365 days in!!..will be tired!

Think about it a lot at mo- soon as it starts I get up and do something no matter how mundane or boring - anything!! :-)

I feel great at mo - no hangover and guilt is very nice :-)

audra

Hi Squeek - I go through cycles where I feel like I want to drink but won't and don't. These cycles last 2 - 3 days - usually because I'm in some kind of funk. I've had at the most 3 of these - but it's not too bad really. But this whole recovery thing is something that feels like I'm thinking about all the time - almost obsessively. I'm at four months and everything about my life is recovery; AA meetings, journalling, reading reading reading, getting on website and talking to nice people like you, talking to counsellors, reading co-dependency books with hubby in the morning. At first I thought i would go mad with it all - and the grief: is this what my new life will be forever? Do I have to go to AA meetings forever? the only time I'm not thinking about it is when I'm working out at the gym or with my trainer. But geez right now I'm immersed. But then again I was immersed in drinking beer there for awhile to - so it seems there is no escaping it.

I don't know if that helps or if I'm just rambling. But glad you're here.

Audra

hypochondriac

I think it seems like I think about not drinking more than I thought about drinking. I didn't think I thought about drinking at all, it was just something I did. But when I quit I think it just showed how much energy it actually took up.

To me it was such a massive release to not have to buy the stuff anymore, all that shopping and carrying, and making sure I rotated the stores in the right order. God that was exhausting.

And when I quit I got these really strong cravings in the afternoon. I couldn't figure it out because I never drank in the day. But then I think that was the time I started thinking about drinking and giving myself permission to drink after work.

So I think it occupied my mind more than I'd like to think, and the amount of energy it gets from me now is a reflection of that. You don't think about drinking while you're doing it, you just drink. It's while you're not drinking that it starts to prey on your mind. Tbh though, now after 9 months I rarely think about drinking unless I am here or at a meeting.

Xune

I think about not drinking many times a day.

I'm glad for it, because it means I'm no longer drinking!

doggonecarl

Often it takes us being deprived of something to make it register with us.

Normal drinkers don't think about not drinking. They just don't drink. For us, not drinking must be imposed on our thinking. It's part of the vigilance of early recovery that keeps us sober.

It will stop dominating your thoughts as your recovery progresses.

cat1961

When I have quit drinking in the past (long term) I hardly ever thought of NOT drinking. After I make it through these first couple days of detoxing, drinking will be a thing of the past and will rarely have any triggers.

On the other hand, while drinking, my life revolved around drinking on the brain every moment of the day unless I was in a deep sleep. Worse yet, is thinking of drinking upon waking up. That's where I was this last week and have finally ended that vicious cycle.