my best thinking
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 2
my best thinking
I can't tell you how many times I've tried to get sober. My longest sober period lasted about 9 months, and that was six years ago. It's been seven days now - this time, the last - and the most difficult thing is trying to deal with withdrawal symptoms and still feel like I'm being productive. I'm doing everything I can to make it stick this time; I'll go to church later and have been looking for meetings near me, but I'm nervous. One of my best friends is sober 11 years and I don't have the balls to ask her for help. But for now, it's taking all of my energy just to be showered, dressed, and writing. It seems like a lot, still, to ask for help. But, I'm here. I guess that's a start. If my best thinking got me here, how do I begin again?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
Welcome Poet!
You've come to the right place for support. I too am suffering Day 1 withdrawals but know that time will pass and my body and mind will be back to normal. Recently my life revolved around making sure I had enough beer in the house so I never ran out. My life has taken a turn for the worse and I don't want to live like this any longer so I decided to quit drinking again.
I also understand the shame behind being an alcoholic but here nobody will judge you and you'll have all the support you need.
Hang in there and let's do this for good!
You've come to the right place for support. I too am suffering Day 1 withdrawals but know that time will pass and my body and mind will be back to normal. Recently my life revolved around making sure I had enough beer in the house so I never ran out. My life has taken a turn for the worse and I don't want to live like this any longer so I decided to quit drinking again.
I also understand the shame behind being an alcoholic but here nobody will judge you and you'll have all the support you need.
Hang in there and let's do this for good!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 2
Today seems like it will be okay. I can make it through today.
I wish I could drink again in the future; a part of me feels like a failure because I can't get it under control. I've been able to fool myself into thinking that I can drink "socially," but the guilt and depression has become most of what I can't quite manage.
I'd say, feebly, that if I drink again in the future, I'll feel the same - the guilt, shame, anxiety, depression. It's hard to think about how to manage sobriety in the long term. I'm not worried for today, but for a week from today, and a week from then.
I can't intellectualize this disease, but that seems to be the way in which it affects me the most. Not sure why I can't just figure it out.
I wish I could drink again in the future; a part of me feels like a failure because I can't get it under control. I've been able to fool myself into thinking that I can drink "socially," but the guilt and depression has become most of what I can't quite manage.
I'd say, feebly, that if I drink again in the future, I'll feel the same - the guilt, shame, anxiety, depression. It's hard to think about how to manage sobriety in the long term. I'm not worried for today, but for a week from today, and a week from then.
I can't intellectualize this disease, but that seems to be the way in which it affects me the most. Not sure why I can't just figure it out.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Poetwolf 
Drinking causes all the anxiety and guilt and depression. It's nice to get finally free from that. There's no reason to control something which is fundamentally bad for us. You don't have to drink x
Drinking causes all the anxiety and guilt and depression. It's nice to get finally free from that. There's no reason to control something which is fundamentally bad for us. You don't have to drink
x
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome poetwolf -
Glad you've joined us!
I never got too far trying to figure it out, either. It didn't seem logical that I could control other aspects of my life yet be unable to moderate my drinking. In the end I had to just accept it..... I wasn't really interested in having a celebratory drink or two. I wanted the feeling of being numbed out. I wanted that mindless buzz that took me away from my own thoughts/feelings.
Giving up drinking was really scary, but I knew I couldn't keep going the way I was. What helped me the most was just tackling the day at hand, taking it one day (or one hour!) at a time. Coming here really helped a LOT.
Glad you've joined us!
I never got too far trying to figure it out, either. It didn't seem logical that I could control other aspects of my life yet be unable to moderate my drinking. In the end I had to just accept it..... I wasn't really interested in having a celebratory drink or two. I wanted the feeling of being numbed out. I wanted that mindless buzz that took me away from my own thoughts/feelings.
Giving up drinking was really scary, but I knew I couldn't keep going the way I was. What helped me the most was just tackling the day at hand, taking it one day (or one hour!) at a time. Coming here really helped a LOT.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,958
Originally Posted by TPW
Not sure why I can't just figure it out.
Keep seeking support here at SR as that can really help.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
welcome the poetwolf
You'll never hear me say thinking is bad...but I did intellectualise my addiction to ridiculous degrees - I confused thinking with action and I suffered 'analysis paralysis'.
Thinking is fine - but without action, I found all the thinking in the world is pretty much useless.
What we all need to do from the get go is stop drinking - support (and asking for help) is vital for that I think.
I know it's hard, but in hindsight you'll wonder what was so hard about it
Make a change today and ask for help...mighty waves start from little ripples right?
D
You'll never hear me say thinking is bad...but I did intellectualise my addiction to ridiculous degrees - I confused thinking with action and I suffered 'analysis paralysis'.
Thinking is fine - but without action, I found all the thinking in the world is pretty much useless.
What we all need to do from the get go is stop drinking - support (and asking for help) is vital for that I think.
I know it's hard, but in hindsight you'll wonder what was so hard about it
Make a change today and ask for help...mighty waves start from little ripples right?
D
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