courage2

i made it through yesterday -- it's been about 42 hours since my last drink. but i'm dreading today, and having a lot of thoughts i know are bad like "if i could do without for one day, i must not be an alcoholic, so that means i can drink" and planning how & when to start again (next week, a lunch date with an old friend i haven't seen in ages, we always have wine together). i'm trying not to think about the future and just think about getting through today.

unfortunately i have money in my pocket and a long time alone in my office before i have to see anyone... my favorite way to drink. it's a rainy day and there's a liquor store across the street....

Natom

Here are the only words of encouragement I can offer you. Remember when you were younger, those times before the drink. The less hazy times when everything seemed like it was it's own little miracle. Where you could look out at the sea and wonder who put it there and why it was the way it was. You can have those times again. You can have a clear mind, you can have a clear conscience. You can truly live again, as long as you don't pick up another drink.

I wish you the best of luck courage. Keep on fighting. It gets better, you just have to fight for the right to live.

Natom.

MidnightBlue

Hi, Courage. Welcome to SR!

You are doing right focusing on today, not on far away future. Your addictive voice is still strong and loud, and it will do all the tricks possible to convince you to drink. Do not give in and do not listen to it. It's hard when you are lonely and liquor store is across the street, and weather is gloomy, but it will be much worse with a drink. So stick here, on SR. Read posts - you'll find a lot of different stories. You won't be alone here - there is a lot of support, encouragement and great people.

Stay strong - rain is not forever. And, one of the most important things - stay away from the first drink by any means necessary! It's how all this drinking hell starts.

Take care and keep posting.

courage2

thanks, midnight & natom. my mind is definitely my worst enemy --i use alcohol to shut it down. i started drinking pretty young & most of my memories -- good & bad -- involve drinking. it's like i'll have to start from scratch. but i'm going to keep trying! reading postings on this forum helps a lot.

Wesley423

all i can tell you is i never solved any of my problems by drinking or using. if i drank or used the problems were still in my face. use all of your assets to help with the addiction. remeber the only one that can make you drink is you..

pipparina

whatever you feel, don't pick up that drink. It gets better.
If you need to occupy yourself in your office, play some mindless on-line games. That'll waste time and keep you occupied.

Hang in there.

MycoolFitz

My best to you. I had one more drink but it lasted like 12 years. Take care

phoebe64

Don't do it. You know you will regret it and feel bad after it happens. That is the thing that gets me through. Think it through to the end. Why you decided to stop in the first place. Why did you decide to stop?

dragon12

Courage2
I know what you are going through, I'm at Day 2 also. I'm not craving alcohol at the moment as it is the middle of the night here and I can't sleep, but earlier on I would have loved a glass of wine. Instead I ate a lot of rubbish and drank lots of tea and water....it worked.

courage2

Good luck on your Day 2, Dragon12! We just have to keep getting through the hours. Hope you get some sleep!

dragon12

One step at a time....one day at a time....we'll get there!

rainyengland

Day 2 was crap for me - I'm day 3 and it's been very good - it changes that quick and I am hoping that eventually the good days far outweigh the bad days !! Keep in there there is plenty going through exactly the same thing and between us we can beat this and get out lives and family back :-)

AnotherPaul

I know exactly what you mean. I'm on day 9 now and I still have that little voice telling me things like "See, you've proven you can control it, you can drink normally now" and "if you can go 9 days without a drink, you can just be a weekend drinker from now on" and "Just stay away from the vodka and only drink beer and you'll be fine" and so on. You have to realize that voice is not yours. That is the disease putting thoughts in your head. And that's a pretty terrifying realization, but what you should be really terrified of is listening to a voice in your head that isn't even really your own. Think about that.

In my opinion, the way you should be looking at it is "I did it yesterday. I made it. Therefore I know I can do it again today. I've already proven it."

Then get out of your office. Lie if you have to. Get yourself out of that environment where you're so used to having a drink and into a different environment, preferably a meeting of some sort, or if you're averse to that, go see a movie, go to the gym, go do some Christmas shopping. Do anything but stay in that environment where you're feeling so tempted. Nothing will change until you change something.

Good luck.

Nikkipoo

Courage2 if you got through 42 hours, you can get through 42 more! Hang in there! Keep reading the posts here.

courage2

thanks for all the words of encouragement and wish me luck -- i'm feeling clammy and itchy and like jumping out of my skin -- i have to go give a 3.5 hour presentation now, and when that's finished BOY am i ever going to want a drink!

Twenties

Day 2 was my worst. Do whatever you have to do to not drink. I personally ran a mile 8 different times that day. then took my frustrations out on a punching bag for hours, and yelled into my pillow at night. lol. Just find a way, whatever it is. It doesn't matter if it's walking laps around a neighborhood til 3am or something, just do it. Keep on fighting!!

courage2

thank you -- i feel really fragile right now. it's so helpful to have this forum....

2granddaughters

I found lasting sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous. Are you attending meetings?

All the best.

Bob R

Hevyn

Hi courage. Good for you - coming here and sharing your feelings. I hope you won't have a setback and will continue on your path to a sober life. We know there's nothing at the bottom of that bottle for us. Nothing will be made better. You can do this.

Flounder

Courage2,

On Day 2 I was still in bed and could hardly walk--you can do it---