Justfor1

I was at a meeting the other night & found myself grateful. I'm not really grateful of others people misery but am thankful it's not me. For many years, I was the one coming back to meetings with tales of woe of King Alcohol kicking my butt. The DUI's, fighting, hospitalizations, withdrawal, no money and the other consequences of addiction. One guy shared that he didn't think AA was helping him as he continued to relapse on the merry-go-around. I related so much to him that I talked to him after the meeting.

2granddaughters

Great.. that's the way it works.

When I encouraged people it not only benefited them but it encouraged me as well.

Bob R

aasharon90

Yep, we hear all sorts of stories of alcoholics
and addicts sharing their own experiences,
strengths and hopes of what life was/is like
before, during and even after their drinking
careers.

It's in hearing them share that I can totally
relate to many of the things they are going
thru or have gone thru them while they were
drinking. Good things, bad things, positive
things, encouraging things.....all messages
of hope or messages of how I never want to
experience life with alcohol.

Yes, I sat thru a many a meetings nodding my
head in agreement or smiling with greatfulness.
It's sitting there listening, absorbing how many
of them have learned to stay sober one day at
a time to get them where they are today. Happy,
joyous and free from addiction each day. It's
carrying those tools and knowledge of a recovery
program Ive learned along the way from them
to incorperate in my own life to stay sober.

Many meetings i thought I didnt hear a thing or
that it wouldn't be helpful to me, when yet just
showing up sober so the newcomer and oldtimers
could and would witness me in person that I
was indeed sober that day was well worth it.

I took what I needed each of many meetings I
went to over the past 22 yrs and it has kept me
sober. Even if it was a hand shake or smile of
kindness, caring, understanding, fellowship.

Fernaceman

This is what frustrated me quite a bit with myself in AA. I was always that person that unfortunately only had the dramatic things to talk about because I could never stay sober because I wasn't working the program. I am doing all I can to change that.

omegasupreme

I didn't share much early on due to fear...but when I did it was total garbage. Some may contend things have not changed ~

The solution isn't in the problem, the solution is in the solution.

tomsteve

just, it sounds like you decided to stop living in the problem and start living int he solution. good on ya!

bbthumper

Indeed. Most newcomers are quite familiar with the drama of alcoholism. They need to hear about the solution and be filled with hope when they come to a meeting.
As the saying goes "take your problems to your sponsor. Take the solution to the meeting."

Fernaceman

Needed that reminder. Thank you.

muvinon

This idea that newcomers want to be filled with hope only might be a tad self-serving. Actually, I needed to identify.

I really appreciated the down-to-earth shares about the reality of alcoholism. People who are so general and only share about all the solutions they found? I didn't doubt them. I also wondered......what are you talking about, really?

I never have done particularly well with abstract terms. Tell me what happened and how it worked out? I listen. Like the stories in the BB. Those made sense. Lots of AA shares did not.

bbthumper

I agree. Which is why we are told to share what it was like, what happened and what we are like now. I never felt good coming out of a meeting when it was all about "what it was like" and nothing else. On the flipside of that, I can see what you are saying. When we only share what we are like now, it can cause some confusion. I want the whole story. Tell me the problem, but please include the solution.

IndaMiricale

Great thread.

sugarbear1

I prefer literature (big book) meetings instead of Group Therapy (discussion) meetings.....

2granddaughters

I prefer the opposite sb ... I probably should attend more BB tables.

When I was in school and there was a Math exam and a History exam the next day I would always study the History because I enjoyed it....

Always failed Math and couldn't figure out why until now.

All the best.

Bob R

paul99

I am not a fan of "Column 2" meetings or where it seems that it's a "qualifying" session...all grief and no gravy. I was actually resentful of them and raged against the machine about it (got taken care of in my 4th!). But sometimes that is all the person knows and may have been demonstrated at other meetings. So what a few seasoned people told me was to focus on what I could do to add to those meetings - focus on the solution, let the newcomers (or those returning) see that there is a solution, and they too can recover.

What you did by talking to that guy after the meeting is awesome - that is how we do it. A good reminder that it's just one drunk helping another.

Great post.

adamjet

Thanks for sharing. This is my story also. I drank far more in AA than I did after I left it. ~1.33 years now with no AA. So glad I left.

tomsteve

good on ya!1 we are glad ya left,too and found something that works.

Music

I sat in a meeting one night with a man who was to report to court the following week for sentencing for manslaughter. He killed a person, driving while drunk and in a blackout. He couldn't remember the incident. Holy Cow!! My heart about stopped! I wondered how I would have felt if that had happened to me. I also thought, maybe I had done something like that and just hadn't been caught. Thank God.

IndaMiricale

I can relate to that. I still have this dream every now and then that I am wanted in Texas for murder. I only know I didnt mean to kill someone dont know how or details. Just that the Rangers are looking for me. Freaks me out every time. I do love my dreams but some still can scare the baajesus out of me.

Thank god and AA I know when I wake up , that these dreams are just that. I know what happened yesterday. Good and bad.

muvinon

Goodness, I am glad I don't have to go to various places and tell people I'm glad I'm not in their group.

What an odd compulsion.

Taking5

I cannot agree more, especially the last sentence.

Some people do need to hear war stories to be convinced that they can get the help they need through AA. So when I tell my war stories in a meeting (which is pretty rare) I always following them up with a success story. As the BB says "what it was like, what happened, and what we are like now". If all you do is tell your drunkalog, you are doing a disservice to AA and the newcomer, IMHO.