rubycanoe

I really, really , need al-anon but can't get myself to go. stepdaughter is recovering (somewhat, she is drinking again) meth addict, her boyfriend and father of their 3 kids also, but he was arrested and tested positive for meth. don't know what is going to happen. he is out of jail. they do not live near us. just very upset and all i can do is pray. wish i could motivate to alanon meeting. feeling frozen.

Impurrfect

((rubycanoe)) - I felt the same way. Though I'm also an RA and went through the same feelings when I was contemplating AA, I was still scared.

I finally just got sick and tired of being miserable, dealing with A's and codies all around me. Went to a meeting I'd looked up time and again. Interestingly enough, my dad had been to the same meeting a few years ago.

It was small, but great. I waited until after the meeting to ask someone if it was okay that I was there because my A's were addicts and he said "absolutely - I'm here because my son is a crack addict". I told him I was in recovery for crack. Another girl, the next night - her bf is a recovering crack addict, was in the next room at an AA meeting. Others qualifiers were alcoholics.

Point being, I was not forced to share, I was not put on the spot other than they recognized I was new. They were most gracious and made my first meeting more into a "newcomer's meeting" for me I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I walked out of there.

FWIW, I am THE worst about staying in my "uncomfortable comfort zone"...afraid to do something even when I know it's what I need and it will help. If I can go to a meeting, anyone can.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Tarot

Ruby I think everyone that goes into those meetings for the first time feels like that. You just have no idea what it will be like and it's such a sore subject. I know I waited far too long before I plucked up the courage. However, when I came out I felt so much better, so much stronger just knowing that I wasn't the only one feeling like that. I don't understand how the magic happens in those rooms....bit that's how it feels, it's a phenomena lol. The next thing I knew I was counting the days until my next meeting and they could never come quick enough!

ISOHumility

Hi Ruby,

I really relate to your reluctance to go to Al-Anon. I put it off for a year, even though my sponsor in another program (AA) suggested it. I didn't listen.

Then I went to a few meetings. I disliked them intensely. Didn't go back.

Then my son relapsed, and I was in so much pain that I was willing to do anything to make it stop.

I went. I've been going for two weeks. I only go once a week, but on that one day there are two meetings I go to.

You know what? It's helping.

Desperation is a beautiful thing. You'll go when you're desperate. I am not being mean. I know you don't want to go. Don't be a weenie like I was. Suck it up and go.

Lily1918

al anon and nar anon are my saving grace. It is the only place besides here where I can express my feelings and struggles and failures without judgement

rubycanoe

hi. thanks for all the replies. i really appreciate it. i also got a private message on her about nar-anon. is that similar to al=anon? there is a meeting for alanon in my town one night a week and a naranon one in the next town over. i am started to get motiviated after hearing all of your good experiences. thanks again

Impurrfect

((ruby)) - nar-anon is similar, but is for loved ones of addicts. Al-anon is supposed to be for loved ones of alcoholics, but as I mentioned previously, I was most welcome even though my qualifier is an addict.

In my area, there are way more al-anon meetings, very few nar-anon. If I were you, I'd check them both out. I never really mention the drugs or say "using" in al-anon..I say "pick(ed) up" and share about the behavior. It's just something I picked up when going to AA as an addict, but I'm quite sure no one would jump all over me if I did mention the drugs.

Just imagine a room with people who are just like us, here

Hugs and prayers,

Amy