My Story
One Day At A Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: The Middle Distance
Posts: 197
My Story
I have read your site for years but never taken the time to join and post. I don't know why. Maybe because so many of your stories could have been mine so I just entered into the fray vicariously.
I didn't face the fact that my parents were alcoholics until I was about 35 yrs old. I began to learn and heal immediately once that shell of denial cracked and some 20 yrs later I am still learning and healing with each bit of truth that comes my way. I am very grateful for all the resources that have found me. I don't like to think where I would be without them.
No surprise that I tried to heal my own childhood by giving my children perfect childhoods but it didn't work. The picket fence began to crumble when I suspected my youngest daughter had a drug problem in 2008. She was 20. In lieu of a urine test she admitted she had a problem with pills and agreed to outpatient rehab. Six months later her counselors wanted her in inpatient rehab because of a few relapses. I was so confused. I didn't understand why she had to go away but I knew enough to trust the counselors. We let her choose the facility and she went 3 hrs away. I drove to see her every week for visitation. On one of the visits someone in her group mentioned something about her being a heroin addict. And that's how I found out that she was an IV heroin addict...shocked but ever the optimist I thought everything would be fine. My oh my...
In four years she has overdosed several times as in needing an ambulance, been in inpatient rehab three times, outpatient rehab four times, lived in a half way house for 6 months, been on suboxone, methadone, all kinds of programs, all kinds of chances, and yet...still using as far as I know. Although I don't know much. She hasn't lived with us since Jan. 2010 because I knew she would not get better here. She has been living in a city about 2.5 hrs. away and I saw her a lot at first when she moved out of the halfway house but when she started using agan I lost touch with her. She changes her phone numbers and we lose contact. She called me about six weeks ago and wanted to come home for a week but hung up when I asked her what her plan was because she cannot live here. She wouldn't answer her phone after that and I haven't heard from her since.
Sometimes I am still optimistic that she will be ok. I know there is a God who knows what is going on even if I don't and I am learning to take responsibility for myself and let her do the same. I miss her though...I really miss her.
Thank you for the opportunity to share my story. It helps a lot...
PresentTense
I didn't face the fact that my parents were alcoholics until I was about 35 yrs old. I began to learn and heal immediately once that shell of denial cracked and some 20 yrs later I am still learning and healing with each bit of truth that comes my way. I am very grateful for all the resources that have found me. I don't like to think where I would be without them.
No surprise that I tried to heal my own childhood by giving my children perfect childhoods but it didn't work. The picket fence began to crumble when I suspected my youngest daughter had a drug problem in 2008. She was 20. In lieu of a urine test she admitted she had a problem with pills and agreed to outpatient rehab. Six months later her counselors wanted her in inpatient rehab because of a few relapses. I was so confused. I didn't understand why she had to go away but I knew enough to trust the counselors. We let her choose the facility and she went 3 hrs away. I drove to see her every week for visitation. On one of the visits someone in her group mentioned something about her being a heroin addict. And that's how I found out that she was an IV heroin addict...shocked but ever the optimist I thought everything would be fine. My oh my...
In four years she has overdosed several times as in needing an ambulance, been in inpatient rehab three times, outpatient rehab four times, lived in a half way house for 6 months, been on suboxone, methadone, all kinds of programs, all kinds of chances, and yet...still using as far as I know. Although I don't know much. She hasn't lived with us since Jan. 2010 because I knew she would not get better here. She has been living in a city about 2.5 hrs. away and I saw her a lot at first when she moved out of the halfway house but when she started using agan I lost touch with her. She changes her phone numbers and we lose contact. She called me about six weeks ago and wanted to come home for a week but hung up when I asked her what her plan was because she cannot live here. She wouldn't answer her phone after that and I haven't heard from her since.
Sometimes I am still optimistic that she will be ok. I know there is a God who knows what is going on even if I don't and I am learning to take responsibility for myself and let her do the same. I miss her though...I really miss her.
Thank you for the opportunity to share my story. It helps a lot...
PresentTense
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: East Coast of Florida
Posts: 61
PresentTense, I am here reading this morning because my thoughts are so full of my own AD that I'm having trouble starting the day. I will post on my own thread instead of hijacking your post 
, but you are not alone.
, but you are not alone.
One Day At A Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: The Middle Distance
Posts: 197
Thank you so much for all the encouraging words. Holidays are difficult but I am determined to empower the good by cultivating the many things for which I have to be grateful. Grandchildren, other family members, birdsong and crisp air. These are a few of the things that keep the elephant off my chest. The grief is crushing...thanks again for your support.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 167
PresentTense,
I woke up bummed, and the day could have gone either way. But sitting on the porch with my coffee, my HP said something he's never said to me before: listen. (I usually talk.)
Today, my job is to listen. Don't know why, but it is. When I listened this morning, I heard the truth: life is good.
PM if you want and i'll give you my number. I have a thing today, but have time to listen.
I woke up bummed, and the day could have gone either way. But sitting on the porch with my coffee, my HP said something he's never said to me before: listen. (I usually talk.)
Today, my job is to listen. Don't know why, but it is. When I listened this morning, I heard the truth: life is good.
PM if you want and i'll give you my number. I have a thing today, but have time to listen.
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