zoid

hello, friends. this is my first time on these posts and i accidentally posted my first post as a reply to someone else's post. sorry about that. reposting as new thread. thanks!
done with denial

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hello, all. i am new to this site. i first tried to get sober almost 3 yrs ago, through a.a. i was sober from november, 2010-september, 2011, and got the brilliant idea MAYBE could still drink like a "normal" drinker, as i am one of those seemingly "functional" alcoholics, as least thus far. fast forward to a year of drinking which has gotten progressively worse. from 11/6 thru this past tues, 11/13, i drank 8 days straight, which i have never done. today is day 2 being sober and i feel so sick i haven't been able to eat or barely drink any water. i don't want to do this anymore, ever again. i went to therapy yesterday and confessed the extent of my drinking and that i am truly an alcoholic who cannot drink, as i had been not been completely honest with my therapist (shocking! lol). i went back to a.a. today and know it's the place for me, and that it will get easier, but right now i feel so hopeless and scared. it's hard to imagine going almost a year sober again but i did it before and i feel that this time i truly want it. i have grown to absolutely hate drinking, whereas it used to seem fun. i am going to another women's meeting tonight i used to attend and sure that will help, but right now i'm just trying to pass the hours until hope returns, as i can't seem to stop crying. thank you for listening. i know many have experienced the shame i'm feeling after relapsing so you know how i feel.

p.s. after having attending 2 mtgs today, having reconnected with a few a.a. friends i haven't seen in almost a year, i do feel better already, and it's only been about 8 hrs since my original post. so, day 2 comes to a close and i have hope....thanks to all on these forums.

nogard

Hey zoid, congrats on 2 days and welcome to SR

sothisisit

Isn't it amazing that despite all the effort we put into getting and going to see a therapist that we then hide the truth we are there to unravel. It wasn't until I started to admit to other people my alcoholism that I began to admit it to myself.

You've made a big step, congrats.

Delilah1

Welcome Zoid!

Good for you for going to two meetings today. Glad you found SR, it has been my biggest source if support and inspiration.

Dee74

again...welcome Zoid

I think it's natural to feel a little scare and helpless...but you're not alone here - there's a lot of support

D

zoid

thanks for the kind welcomes. i travel for a living and cant always get to a meeting every day, so i'm sure this site will be very helpful to me. in the meantime, trying to double up on my days off work.

amy55

Hey zoid, welcome

Do you know how many times I lied to my therapist so that she would think she was doing a good job? (lol) Glad to have you here

Hevyn

Welcome zoid! Please don't feel ashamed. Through all those ups and downs, you've learned something valuable - now you're ready to do this. I was the same way - tried to be a social drinker, just couldn't see myself living without alcohol. Why, I don't know - it was bringing me nothing but misery and danger.

We're happy to have you with us - you'll find this place amazingly supportive and helpful. I couldn't have made it out of hell without my friends here to give me hope.

Thepatman

Welcome to SR. The sadness is a left over from the depressant. Try to concentrate that this shall past. Stay strong! I am 3 days sober, you should have seen me first 2, just hang on

Sapling

Looks like AA was working for you before...Good for you for getting back into it....

zoid

hey, yall, thanks. today is day 4. each day does get a little better. being back at the mtgs and seeing my old sober friends has reminded me of how happy sobriety made me and how badly i want it back. thanks for the kind words!

Hevyn

That's great news, zoid. You can do this, and never go back to that miserable world.

zoid

today is day 5 and it's amazing to me how quickly you start to feel good again. happy, grateful, and full of hope. wishing everyone a happy and sober day!:day6

sissy07

Zoid,

Welcome! I live in Austin now, but I lived in Atlanta for 30 years. I loved the meetings at 8111 - 8111 Roswell Road. If you haven't tried their meetings, try to at some point in time....I really miss that place. Great people. Best wishes!

Delilah1

You too Zoid! Great job getting through those first days.