Lionhearted1

I had another slip last night I woke up this morning and the world felt like it had caved in on me I was in a bad way. I did not even drink that much well 2 bottles of wine but I have consumed a lot more back in the day but the hangovers are insane I literally can not get out of bed the anxiety is crippling,it's just such a waste of a day. If I was on my death bad and added up all them precious days I wasted being drunk or hungover I would cry.....just such a waste.

Alcohol really does just take take take.....

I do want recovery, but lately it's like iam drinking against my will or like iam having an internall battle whilst drinking.

But iam determined to get this, I will get this, i have never failed at anything and this will not beat me!!!!

Fernaceman

I have learned that as much as I WANT to have the benefits of both worlds (recovery AND alcohol/drugs), it simply cannot be so. Not the way the world works.

Are you realizing that your depression and shame can be eliminated by simply not giving into the drink?

Delilah1

I spent many years trying to control my drinking, my ghost of drinking past would definitely point out that I was never successful with this.

Remember how lousy you feel right now, and the next time you want to drink try thinking I am not going to drink today. Keeping it in the moment seems less overwhelming. I am only on day 31, so still new at this but taking the one day at a time approach seems to be helping me.

Good luck Lionhearted, hang in there and keep posting on here.

Hollyanne

Hi Lionhearted,
I would be still drinking except for the head stuff.
Physically, I can handle more, mentally, nope.

There is definitely an element of the obsession increasing when trying to quit.
I drank more when I decided to quit than I did when not interested in quitting.

FreeFall

I always felt like I was being punished if I couldn't drink. I'm now trying to look at it as a choice, and a benefit. One of the biggest motivators was feeling better, both mentally and physically. A hangover is your body screaming at you
"wake the f*ck up and stop abusing me" lol

You are having a battle with your addictive voice within, but YOU are in charge.
You can win the ongoing battle!

LiveLikeGold6

Seriously Lion I am right where you are. I went out Friday for a drink and here it's suddenly late Sunday afternoon and I have a meth hangover. This is ******** we deserve better, the people around us deserve better and I promise you I won't give up either. *HUGS*

YoungAndClean

Thank for you reminding me how much I DO NOT MISS waking up at 4am filled to the brim with anxiety, dread, and soul-crushing depression because I was spiritually bankrupt, emotionally dead, and physically slowly committing suicide.

Elisabeth888

I understand about drinking against your will and the crippling anxiety. Honestly, you are just going to have to get sick of it and at the same time be willing to do something about it.

Sasha4

2 bottles of wine is quite a lot to drink.

1 bottle = 9 units
2 bottles = 18 units

Government guidelines for men are 21 -28 units a week, and women, 14 - 21 units a week. So if Saturday was the start of a new week, you have 10 left for the week, which is just over one bottle of wine.

The guidelines put it into perspective for me. If I was going to drink every night and try and stay within the guidelines then that would be one large glass a night! Whats the point of that?!

And what would I do with the rest of the wine....put it back in the fridge? That would be 'leftover wine' so that is a least a first as I have never, ever had left over wine in my fridge. But I know really I would end up necking it.

Thats just my tuppence anyhow x

Caledonia1

I could have written that line myself 8 months ago. Thankfully with the help of AA and SR I realise it's no longer a battle but an allergy to alcohol I had to accept

Don't be so hard on yourself. Today's another day. Today's a sober day

.

IndaMiricale

Sorry you went that route

SLIP = sobriety lost its priority !!!!

To live sober, sobriety has to be the most important thing in your life.


Thank you for reminding me what I am not missing today out there.

EternalQ

Thank you for reminding me that any thoughts of wanting alcohol are my Addictive Voice talking. Not me. Same for you by the way.

Thanks for reminding me that I would become suicidal if I took up drinking. Since I quit in February, haven't had even one teeny suicidal thought. All gone with quitting alcohol. Alcohol wanted me dead.

I sincerely hope you pick a recovery plan asap. You don't deserve to live like this. And you don't want to die like this.

TorontoGuy28

Hang in there.

Until I admitted and ACCEPTED being powerless over alcohol, I kept going in circles.

Took a while to really get the idea that I can NEVER drink again.

I flirted with sobriety since 28, thus the number in my name on here...

Good news is that life does get better, much better and you DO NOT have to drink again.

Good luck !

PS. caps is not me being loud, just wanted to emphasize the key messages.

soberlicious

It certainly does. But it can only take what we give over to it.

Liv2011

I used to live in London. Hard place to be sober as pub life is part of the culture and there's a pub walking distance with friendly people to talk to.

Liv2011

just wanted to add, you said "the anxiety is crippling"...I realized the booze was making the anxiety worse, not better as I thought and I realized I had to quit.

Twenties

You deserve more than this lionhearted

Keep fighting. Whatever you do, never give up. ever.

duane1

So what's your plan to make it different this time Lionhearted? You can't just wish this problem away. What is holding you back? I know I had some crazy things going on in my head that kept me drinking for years after I started to want to quit. Do you associate with many drinkers? Are there relationships in your life that alcohol is always around? If you want to quit, drawing a line in the sand is where it starts.

renaldo

I'm sorry you hurt yourself. We all understand. Best wishes for you.

instant

Have another go- what led to the sip?