Asked my AH for a divorce
Restoring myself to sanity
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
Asked my AH for a divorce
I'm finally ready to let go and asked my Ah for a divorce.. He acted shocked and dumbfounded as if he didn't see this coming.. Of course he immediately said that he wouldn't sign any papers if I didn't give him our dog :/ I think he's just acting out of fear and trying to manipulate me.. He has no financial means of taking care of her and he has no where to go.. He's literally going to be at the mercy of family and friends once he's out of my house..
This morning I found a crinkled up piece of tin foil with burnt black residue in it on the laundry room floor.. When I confronted him with it he said that it was tin foil he used on a radio antenna.. Sigh; I shouldn't have even asked.. Of course it was drugs, herion or meth maybe.. I'm thinking the former since opiotes are Is DOC.. Guess it doesn't matter though because its signs of drug use, my one deal breaker from last time when I took him back..
Oh lord you guys, wish me luck... I hate doing this around the holidays and I hate all the stress and pain I'm going to have to put up with in the next 6 weeks or so... I can't back down this time, I can't live like this anymore .
Tomorrow night I have my first session with a therapist.. My employee assistant program set me up with her and I get like three free visits.. I'm hoping this is the beginning of a road of health and freedom for me.. I want to be healthy and I want to be ok with being alone and not being in a relationship at all for a long while.. I don't want to end up with another substance abuser...
This morning I found a crinkled up piece of tin foil with burnt black residue in it on the laundry room floor.. When I confronted him with it he said that it was tin foil he used on a radio antenna.. Sigh; I shouldn't have even asked.. Of course it was drugs, herion or meth maybe.. I'm thinking the former since opiotes are Is DOC.. Guess it doesn't matter though because its signs of drug use, my one deal breaker from last time when I took him back..
Oh lord you guys, wish me luck... I hate doing this around the holidays and I hate all the stress and pain I'm going to have to put up with in the next 6 weeks or so... I can't back down this time, I can't live like this anymore .
Tomorrow night I have my first session with a therapist.. My employee assistant program set me up with her and I get like three free visits.. I'm hoping this is the beginning of a road of health and freedom for me.. I want to be healthy and I want to be ok with being alone and not being in a relationship at all for a long while.. I don't want to end up with another substance abuser...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 72
I am sending thoughts and prayers your way. Stay strong. Radio antenna? That's a good one. My ex told me his crack pipe was part of an electrical fixture at his job. There's never a "good" time to go through this, but you deserve a better life. My ex tried to wear me down so I ended up staying with friends for a couple of nights just to recharge. He's probably banking on trying to wear you down too so please take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 398
Good for you.
When I'd find signs of drug use, my AH would say that's just left over from the last time he was using. They're. Ever going to come clean and offer up an admission.
Being alone is so much better than being miserable!
When I'd find signs of drug use, my AH would say that's just left over from the last time he was using. They're. Ever going to come clean and offer up an admission.
Being alone is so much better than being miserable!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 654
I'm so happy that you are putting yourself first and sticking to your boundaries. You said no drug use and he decided to test you on that and well it is time him to deal with the consequences.
As said before, there is no 'right' time to do this. You are doing what you need to do for yourself.
Don't let him manipulate you into staying. It's good that you set up sessions with a therapist since these next couple months will be emotionally taxing.
No matter what he trys to tell you, you know you are doing the right thing for YOU and that is all that matters.
As said before, there is no 'right' time to do this. You are doing what you need to do for yourself.
Don't let him manipulate you into staying. It's good that you set up sessions with a therapist since these next couple months will be emotionally taxing.
No matter what he trys to tell you, you know you are doing the right thing for YOU and that is all that matters.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
We're walking with you, Jerect. 
The next 6 weeks or so may be rough, you will have sad times and scared times as you go forward in your life, but I promise you that this pain will one day pass and the wounds will heal. Staying will only bring more pain, and drag you even deeper into that dark abyss of addiction.
In my dark days someone wise here told me that the only way to get past pain is to look it in the face and walk right through it. It was scary but I hung on to my faith and let myself be led...and one day I saw light again and have never had to go back to that dark scary place.
Hugs and hugs, you will be okay, I promise.
The next 6 weeks or so may be rough, you will have sad times and scared times as you go forward in your life, but I promise you that this pain will one day pass and the wounds will heal. Staying will only bring more pain, and drag you even deeper into that dark abyss of addiction.
In my dark days someone wise here told me that the only way to get past pain is to look it in the face and walk right through it. It was scary but I hung on to my faith and let myself be led...and one day I saw light again and have never had to go back to that dark scary place.
Hugs and hugs, you will be okay, I promise.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
I don't know if you like Harry Potter, but its like running through the solid brick wall to get on the train. believe it and run straight for it, and emerge on the other side to magic and joy that you never even knew existed 
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