recoverytime

I just need to vent...

So I have been signed off work due to being an addict. The Dr signed me off with depression and at the time I was happy to lie about anything and anyone. Now that I am sober and working a program, I don't want to lie. I struggle with this everyday and by telling this lie, I know it will lead to more lies and I just feel ill thinking about lying.

On the one hand, the job I have isn't the right place for me to be and I don't want to go back. On the other hand I have put my family through a bad time as it is without possibly making them homeless and not having enough to eat.

I can just feel that familiar anxiety that I had all but left behind coming back like I am in my addiction all over again.

Has anyone had experience like this?

jennikate

Yup, same story basically. I had to go back to work in September after a two month long hiatus. I was a basket case. Worried about what everyone had been saying about me and what everyone thought about me. Also didn't think I wanted to go back to the same job. However, I had no choice so I went. It was actually a thousand times better than I thought. I just had to get over the initial hump. After a little bit, it felt like I never left. Also the job situation changed a bit in my favor. I now look forward to each day.

I also have had to work on not worrying about what everyone thinks about me. I cannot undo the past. I can only control my actions and attitudes today. Helps keep me focused on the positive.

recoverytime

Thanks for sharing that Jenni.

I think that being sober in that job and continuing to work on myself, I might even enjoy the job. I just met with HR and they were very supportive although they don't know the full extent of why I was off. I think it will be good for me to go back and get myself back on track.

There is no use worrying about it I guess. I just had a brief moment of panic,