unsettling drinking dream
unsettling drinking dream
So i had another drinking dream unlike any other i've had. in this one i was at a party (seemed like a holiday party) with my family. it was a pretty quiet party and i had a glass of wine. basically, i know it was a family party 'cause that's about the only time i really would have drunk wine. so i drink the wine, refill the glass, take a sip and then pour the glass out because i really don't want anymore wine. my dad comes over and hugs me and tells me he's proud of me.
several things make this dream really unsettling to me. first is that while i'm drinking the wine, i'm already pondering my next move, second is that i refill the glass automatically, third is that when i pour out the glass i feel proud and in control, fourth, when my dad hugs me i feel absolution for drinking and fifth when all this is done i don't consider the incident to have been a break in my sobriety because i remained "in control."
i feel like i just got a major warning shot over my bow. i don't know why. perhaps i'm already anticipating the holiday season? i don't know. but there it is. that dream left me with such a sick feeling in my stomach. i hate that part of me could feel so cocky and sure. i don't want a drink! i don't desire even the first one! but i got this warning anyways so i'll take it. i just wanted to share it with y'all. it sure shook me up.
several things make this dream really unsettling to me. first is that while i'm drinking the wine, i'm already pondering my next move, second is that i refill the glass automatically, third is that when i pour out the glass i feel proud and in control, fourth, when my dad hugs me i feel absolution for drinking and fifth when all this is done i don't consider the incident to have been a break in my sobriety because i remained "in control."
i feel like i just got a major warning shot over my bow. i don't know why. perhaps i'm already anticipating the holiday season? i don't know. but there it is. that dream left me with such a sick feeling in my stomach. i hate that part of me could feel so cocky and sure. i don't want a drink! i don't desire even the first one! but i got this warning anyways so i'll take it. i just wanted to share it with y'all. it sure shook me up.
I was a wino and the other day I drove past my former drive through haunt. Fat ******* Chardonnay was my poison there. I thought about all the bottles I bought there. Could see it in a beautiful stemmed glass. Smell it. Taste it. Shuddered. Literally shook with revolt at that vinegary grossness I used to all but pour down my throat. Even now I want to gag. When I have drinking dreams, they scare me to death, too. I do not want to break my sobriety string and I won't. You are in control, DG, and you have many people proud of your accomplishments - me front and center ( ok, I'll stand behind your Daddy!) Good job - keep up the great work and inspiring posts!! Hugs, NBC
DG, I had so many of these dreams, especially the first few years. In my dream, I would find myself drinking but not remembering make the decision to drink, so it was as if I forgot I wasn't supposed to drink. Then I was be scheming how I would not tell anyone, and not consider it a slip.
They're upsetting, but it was always a good reminder for me about how I would feel if I drank.
They're upsetting, but it was always a good reminder for me about how I would feel if I drank.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 346
I hear you loud and clear, DG-I had one a few nights ago, but what unsettled me the most was waking up with a bottle of Pepsi in my hand that i'd opened and managed to spill all over myself, as well as my bed 0_o
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Thank you for this post! I have these dreams from time to time myself... I wake up in a panic... feeling like I blew all the hard work that I've put in. Then a smile comes on my face when I realize that it's just a dream and that I'm safe and sound! At first these dreams were very disconcerning but now I appreciate them soooo much... maybe it is actually our sober minds protecting us from what could come? I like to think of it that way. God bless my friend!
PS - Well done on 8 months!
PS - Well done on 8 months!
I spent 20 years drinking...I think of the drinking dreams as memory bubbles rising to the surface and being made sense of by our sleeping brain as a dream.
I know how real and upsetting they can be but I never worried about them too much - I never saw them as cautionary tales.
I reckon it's my waking hours I need to focus on for my recovery, not my sleeping ones
D
I know how real and upsetting they can be but I never worried about them too much - I never saw them as cautionary tales.
I reckon it's my waking hours I need to focus on for my recovery, not my sleeping ones
D
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