What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stronger
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stronger
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
Kelly Clarkson
Well, I went to divorce court this morning, got temporary orders, including my address is sealed from my STBXAH, and the process and calendar in place for the financial discovery and negotiations.
Afterwards, I was to meet my son at a restaurant for lunch. Got there before he did, went into the ladies room, feeling very blue. You know how they turn the music on extra loud in the restrooms?
Well, what did I hear, over and over, but the chorus "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"!!!!! I think God had it piped in, extra loud, just for me.
I was up and down, furious, sad, upset, mourning, free, trapped again, every emotion in the book this week. By last night, I got to the place where I realized that the divorce now is about business: who gets what in the settlement. And that's all. My emotions and emotional healing are now outside the purview of my AH, of the divorce court, they belong to ME now.
So I left the ladies room (and the song kept on playing), and I felt stronger, and I realized its all over but the shouting. My STBXAH (haven't written that before - wow) showed his hand on where he plans to attack me financially, but it will be what it will be. The "game" now is to increase the value of all the assets I want, and decrease the value of all the assets he wants. It's business. It's negotiation.
It isn't my LIFE anymore. Please remind me of this when I forget it! I know I will forget it. I told my son that I expect to go through cycles of feeling, especially when AH does mean things, which he will do since I already can't account for $17,000 that he appears to have transferred somewhere the sun don't shine.... But each time, the reverberations are are less, more contained, shorter, and that is progress for me.
I can't believe that song was there when I needed to hear exactly that message... I drove home after lunch thinking about what I can do for myself now - first clean the apartment, set up the new bookshelves and look at my treasured books as I put them away, walk by the ocean with my little dog, get my jewelry studio ready and go in and PLAY...
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
ShootingStar1
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
Kelly Clarkson
Well, I went to divorce court this morning, got temporary orders, including my address is sealed from my STBXAH, and the process and calendar in place for the financial discovery and negotiations.
Afterwards, I was to meet my son at a restaurant for lunch. Got there before he did, went into the ladies room, feeling very blue. You know how they turn the music on extra loud in the restrooms?
Well, what did I hear, over and over, but the chorus "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"!!!!! I think God had it piped in, extra loud, just for me.
I was up and down, furious, sad, upset, mourning, free, trapped again, every emotion in the book this week. By last night, I got to the place where I realized that the divorce now is about business: who gets what in the settlement. And that's all. My emotions and emotional healing are now outside the purview of my AH, of the divorce court, they belong to ME now.
So I left the ladies room (and the song kept on playing), and I felt stronger, and I realized its all over but the shouting. My STBXAH (haven't written that before - wow) showed his hand on where he plans to attack me financially, but it will be what it will be. The "game" now is to increase the value of all the assets I want, and decrease the value of all the assets he wants. It's business. It's negotiation.
It isn't my LIFE anymore. Please remind me of this when I forget it! I know I will forget it. I told my son that I expect to go through cycles of feeling, especially when AH does mean things, which he will do since I already can't account for $17,000 that he appears to have transferred somewhere the sun don't shine.... But each time, the reverberations are are less, more contained, shorter, and that is progress for me.
I can't believe that song was there when I needed to hear exactly that message... I drove home after lunch thinking about what I can do for myself now - first clean the apartment, set up the new bookshelves and look at my treasured books as I put them away, walk by the ocean with my little dog, get my jewelry studio ready and go in and PLAY...
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
ShootingStar1
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 391
Loved this post ShootingStar.
I think God has played that song for me when I needed it too! Your words are very helpful to me today. It seems to me we are in similar stages as far as the divorce process goes.
Stay strong! It's contagious.
MamaKit
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
Well done shooting star.
Divorce is hard & sometimes is a b#!h fight but regardless of what assets you come out with the best thing of all is that the most valued asset is yourself & nobody can claim that.
Bigs hugs, respect & positive vibes for you.
Divorce is hard & sometimes is a b#!h fight but regardless of what assets you come out with the best thing of all is that the most valued asset is yourself & nobody can claim that.
Bigs hugs, respect & positive vibes for you.
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