RecoRenee

I'm coming up on my second month of sobriety and I can't believe that my friends are STILL asking me to go out drinking even tho I've told them numerous times that I quit and adopted a healthy lifestyle. It's like it goes in one ear and out the other because the following weekend, sure enough they text me with "hey you wanna hang out? Are you drinking yet?" It's wtf? I guess people are not used to someone quitting and sticking too it. They are probably used to people saying that they're quitting and then going right back to it. The truth is, I've totally forgotten about alcohol, the thought doesn't cross my mind at all on a daily basis, and I don't miss it. What's there too miss? Being hung over, doing something embarrassing? Umm no thanks. I'm fine without it so I wish my friends would just move on. I have no desire to drink ever again, period. I'm still early in my sobriety but i know myself, and when i make up my mind, it's made up, i dont waiver on this type of thing.

In other news, I'm off the wagon in terms of caffeine, had some green tea the other day. Caffeine to me is way more addictive and WAY harder to get off of but I'm going to give it another go.

I am still junk food free tho so that's 2 out of 3 but junk food and caffeine are a daily struggle to give up.

Dee74

I drank or got high with some of my friends for 20 years...although it annoyed me at the time too, I see now they were just doing what we always did.

Have you made any new friends Renee?

D

MIRecovery

My experience has been that people who do not have a problem will never get it. Not today, not tomorrow, never. I just give them an eye roll and stay sober

RecoRenee

Actually they do have problem. They drink just as much as I did. I guess they just don't see it as a problem. lol. Last weekend my friend emailed me to tell me that he got wasted and lost his wallet and phone, the person who found it purchased $600 worth of stuff before he could alert the bank. It was nothing to him, just another weekend, to him that basically means in his mind that he had "a great time" lol. I just don't see that stuff as a "Great time" anymore.

RecoRenee

I had a friend come to me 5 years ago and tell me that she felt that she'd been drinking too much lately and wanted to slow down or quit. I responded by letting her know that we could do other fun things and even tho I was still drinking with other friends I'd only invite her to do non-alcohol related things and I made it a point to find non-alcohol related activities so that we still hung out and had fun. THAT'S what real friends do. So as far as the "barnacles" that keep inviting me out to drink after I made it explicitly clear that I'm done with alcohol, here's my middle finger. They're just selfish. If a friend tells you that due to severe adverse health effects, they've stopped drinking and they ask you to support them by not inviting them out to drink and you text them every weekend after that and ask them out to drink then you're not a friend or even a decent human being. Period. If they took time to think about someone other than themselves, their response may be different.

GigiJ

Rene, congrats! I definitely can relate to you, not wanting to! Isn't it great? Your friends will either catch o, or move on. It's kind of a bitter/sweet with me, I love my friends, but the party is over.

Thepatman

You know what real friends are as you said in your last post. Sobriety sometimes needs a spring cleanup. I left the love of my life because she was still drinking in my face.

Hurts, yep, like hell, but sobriety is also about respecting yourself and expecting the same from others. Even loved ones.

Can't beleive I just said that ;-)

Fernaceman

MIR said it right. They don't get it. They didn't get it before I got sober, nor did I. I don't expect them to change just for me. As much as I would like to think I am, to drug buddies I am just not important enough.

Anna

It definitely gives you a different perspective when you look at people who are in your life.

Thepatman

My grandpa used to say If you hang out with wolves you will start hurling.

He died liver failure, but the idea was there. LOL

thislonelygirl

people can be huge idiots. my ah has the same problem woth friends and when i quit drinking (never been an acoholic) but i wanted to be a better parent by not going out and spebding more time at homeand by having a healthier lifestyle i found that people just dont get it and they cobstantly will try to get you out with them. i couldnt tell you how many times me or ah has said no before. even without being a problem drinker people just dont get it....in my opinion its that their lives already revolve around it. good time equals a drink. hang strong

nogard

Focusing on me and how I am doing, how I am living my life is the core of my recovery

Rennet

When I was younger and still smoked, I hung out with a bunch of smokers. In order to prevent them from ever giving me a cigarette, either by tempting me or if I had drank a lot and asked, I told each one of them 'No matter what I tell you, no matter how much I beg to bum a smoke, if you hand me a cigarette I will break it in half.' Then I'd screw with them, and say 'No man I won't, I was just kidding,' and still break the cigarette.

That sort of pissed people off and sure enough they never offered or gave me cigarettes again.

isinganyway

this

fallingtogether

Hey roco, congrats on your sobriety. Here is what I am learning in my recovery. Judgement is not necessary. These people may be as sick as u are, in terms of drinking, but it's just not their time to quit yet. My drinking friends saw a common ground with me, lets drink til we pass out. Cool. We must be friends because we have that in common, right? Well, I quit drinking, didn't advertise to a lot of people, but i will tell people when i feel comfortable, however when i stopped calling to invite them over, they stopped calling period. My alcoholism wade my senses into believing that my drinking buddies really truly gave a **** about my life. When in reality, they just cared about drinking together. Period. Alcohol had it reign over me, with negative consequences for long enough. My friends on the other hand, have to come to that decision on their own terms. I can't get people sober, and I can't keep them that way. I can just lead by example and leave the judging to god. Best wishes your friends.

DarkDays

All my friends are addicted and dependant on alcoHELL, they are all in denial. They gotta find there own way, I am not going to tell them. But for me being sober is the main thing anybody and anyone can think what they want of me, really do not care