madremiabella

I joined this group a few months ago, and i did relapse a few times since then, in the beginning i just wasnt so serious about quitting, and lacked motivation, but i realized i had to put myself together for myself and for my brother, who is a 27 year old veteran who was in iraq, kuwait, afghan..etc for a combination of 3 years, he joined the service when he was 18, i felt like i lost them, and when he came back and was a total different person i felt like i lost him forever, since then hes been in and out of rehab he moves from state to state and eventually makes it back home, im also in the military myself, and it hurts when i go back on leave only to find out hes in the hospital, he tells the doctors that im the only person who keeps him going, i dont know what to do, im not available 24/7 im deployed right now, and i feel guilty, i know i shouldnt its out of my control, but i feel guilty that i cant be there for him and cant give him all the support id like to or that he needs.
i wrote this a few days ago when i felt down..:
its been awhile since i last seen you,
your different
that wasnt suppose to happen
you change
and i lost you
they say every war has a price
so far its taken quite a toll
you fight they forget
service is done
youve been used
you have nothing to offer
so your useless to them now
when its over
all thats left is a mess
such a mess,
thats all were left with
they give us your body back
but your soul
that never returns
they took that a long time ago
so we mourn
an you try to be like everyone else again
you fail
you fall
deeper
and even deeper
its foggy
youve lost your way
and were watching
your lost..
and all we can do is watch
flashbacks
your screams
all the alcohol
where did we loose you
you were so needed before
now your wasting away
so slowly
the is withering your bones away
oh so slowly...

keep our service men and veterans in your prayers please. for all the families going through this you deserve more..

Titanic

So sorry for your brother's and your pain.

May God keep you safe, and thank you.