Does anyone have any positive stories?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 14
Does anyone have any positive stories?
I guess I am just wanting to be hopeful today. Is there any positive stories about your spouse, significant other, child going through rehab and staying clean? Or is that thought nothing but a fairytale?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
My husband has been clean for almost 6 months now. He completed a non 12-step rehab with some outpatient, and now he has been home with me and our infant son for almost 3 months. Things are good with him; with us.
There is hope.
I started posting here when he went into rehab; we have both come a long way by taking care of ourselves, and by learning healthy ways to take care of each other. Interdependence not codependence; makes for a happy marriage & two very happy people.
There is hope.
I started posting here when he went into rehab; we have both come a long way by taking care of ourselves, and by learning healthy ways to take care of each other. Interdependence not codependence; makes for a happy marriage & two very happy people.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
They are several RA's on SR who post about their own personal recoveries. There are other members whose child, spouse or significant others are currently embracing recovery.
Sadly, the reality is only approximately 10% recover for life. Addiction is that powerful.
Sadly, the reality is only approximately 10% recover for life. Addiction is that powerful.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
Well, as much as I miss my xah the best thing thatever happened was he abandoned us. I say this because my son isn't watching a addict in action living with us. My son has a chance. I have lived thru this past year of hell and my son and I are doing ok. So, this isn't a positive "he got sober story" BUT it is a he is out of our life...which if he is using then this is positive. Make sense?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
As for my 34-year-old AD, what exactly is successful? She's managed to stay in active addiction since age 15 despite a boatload of legal woes, including several incarcerations, lost custody of her two children to their father, is now a convicted felon, and in very poor health. i guess that would be a pretty successful run in active addiction if you count the years.
As for me, I entered rehab in 1986 at the age of 28. I was literally physically dying. I embraced recovery and started my life over, including walking away from my violent and abusive EXAH who returned to drinking/shooting dope the day he was discharged from rehab.
I had four years clean/sober when I made the conscious choice to use cocaine and start drinking again. There were many factors leading up to that, and the addict was busy driving the bus in my head long before I started up again.
When I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and after I had a moment of frightening clarity while drunk, I drug my pathetic carcass back up the flight of steps to my home group in AA. I started over, and it was so much harder the second time around for me.
I'm grateful and proud to have celebrated 22 years of continuous recovery this past August 5th.
I've also been in recovery via Alanon and therapy for codependency since 1999.
As for me, I entered rehab in 1986 at the age of 28. I was literally physically dying. I embraced recovery and started my life over, including walking away from my violent and abusive EXAH who returned to drinking/shooting dope the day he was discharged from rehab.
I had four years clean/sober when I made the conscious choice to use cocaine and start drinking again. There were many factors leading up to that, and the addict was busy driving the bus in my head long before I started up again.
When I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and after I had a moment of frightening clarity while drunk, I drug my pathetic carcass back up the flight of steps to my home group in AA. I started over, and it was so much harder the second time around for me.
I'm grateful and proud to have celebrated 22 years of continuous recovery this past August 5th.
I've also been in recovery via Alanon and therapy for codependency since 1999.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
It's not just about not using. It's about, as Step 4 says, doing a fearless and searching moral inventory and looking to see where one went off the rails...and the consequences of doing so.
If I may suggest something...broaden your definition of "positive" to include how you've grown as a result of your experience. See, the whole idea of Al Anon is for the loved one of an alcoholic or an addict to gain serenity even if the alcoholic/addict is still using. It's about acceptance that there are just some things we have no control over, and it's about detaching from our loved one so that we can live our own lives.
Think about that for a bit.
Best,
ZoSo
If I may suggest something...broaden your definition of "positive" to include how you've grown as a result of your experience. See, the whole idea of Al Anon is for the loved one of an alcoholic or an addict to gain serenity even if the alcoholic/addict is still using. It's about acceptance that there are just some things we have no control over, and it's about detaching from our loved one so that we can live our own lives.
Think about that for a bit.
Best,
ZoSo
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Over here.
Posts: 369
Thanks for that, Zoso, story74, and Freedom1990...without realizing it I needed to have 'positive' reframed/redefined for me right now. This is another reason I love SR. Sometimes you get what you need before you even knew you needed it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
zoso
Beautifully stated.
I believe I am a positive example of recovery (from codependence). Not perfect. But not allowing my AS's addiction to run my life anymore and doing my best to apply the principles of the 12 steps in all aspect of my life. There are many people in a local NA meeting (whom I consider friends) who have many, many years in recovery (from addiction). So are there positive stories out there? Oh yes!
gentle hugs
ke
Beautifully stated.
I believe I am a positive example of recovery (from codependence). Not perfect. But not allowing my AS's addiction to run my life anymore and doing my best to apply the principles of the 12 steps in all aspect of my life. There are many people in a local NA meeting (whom I consider friends) who have many, many years in recovery (from addiction). So are there positive stories out there? Oh yes!
gentle hugs
ke
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
My husband's 3 NA friends were here today to watch football. One has 20 yrs, one has 12 yrs, and the other has 3 yrs. My husband is almost 30 days (after he went off suboxone and relapsed around 80 days) What I have noticed from conversations, all 3 of his friends are very vigilant about their recovery. They never underestimate the power of addiction, even after 20 yrs.
The sun still shines
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 472
I go and read some threads in the addicts section if I want to hear positive stories. The ones I can think of quickly, are:
- The one started by Larrylive really gave me hope. It shows his progression from an addict trying to find reasons not to get clean to someone who embraced recovery fully.
- Our very own Impurrfect which is a shining beacon with close to 6 years clean time.
- Jason who has in spite of a hellish childhood managed to stop.
There are many more. These people really give me hope for my own son and you hear it truly from the horse's mouth.
- The one started by Larrylive really gave me hope. It shows his progression from an addict trying to find reasons not to get clean to someone who embraced recovery fully.
- Our very own Impurrfect which is a shining beacon with close to 6 years clean time.
- Jason who has in spite of a hellish childhood managed to stop.
There are many more. These people really give me hope for my own son and you hear it truly from the horse's mouth.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Most of those with serious recovery time who post on SR did not achive sobriety via rehab. And 12 Steps is not the only way.
My daughter did three back to back rehabs and relapsed within hours of returning home. While I never went completely no contact, she was no longer welcome in my home.
She eventually decided she was done with drugs. She did this on her own in her own timeframe. Speculation on my part that everyone she knew into heroin was either dead or in prison may have had something to do with her change of mind.
Needing to versus wanting to get and stay clean may be the key difference between sobbriety and relapse. Needing to is for someone else. Wanting to is saving oneself. Same for our side of the street.
My daughter did three back to back rehabs and relapsed within hours of returning home. While I never went completely no contact, she was no longer welcome in my home.
She eventually decided she was done with drugs. She did this on her own in her own timeframe. Speculation on my part that everyone she knew into heroin was either dead or in prison may have had something to do with her change of mind.
Needing to versus wanting to get and stay clean may be the key difference between sobbriety and relapse. Needing to is for someone else. Wanting to is saving oneself. Same for our side of the street.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I heard a great speaker a few weeks ago. It was at a NA dinner event to raise to money. The man was a powerful speaker and his story was amazing. He had a terrible childhood and started sniffing glue at the age of 8 and it progressed from there. He hated God because he believed God hated him. He is now 32yrs clean and is a Christian. He had stage 4 cancer and needed heavy dosages of pain medicine. He never went back out (to use) and is now in remission.
He shared even after 32 yrs, there are still times when he has to pull his car over to quiet his brain, quiet the crazy thoughts. 32 yrs clean, strong relationship with God, works his program and his addiction is still trying to trick him.
I am even more convinced then ever that addicts are born with this disease and it's not a moral character defect like I once thought. Their brains are different. (as with many diseases) However, recovery is possible but it is a life long journey for people who truly want it.
P.S. Also, this man started Alanon about 8 months ago and continues to work on every area of his life. He is a double winner. It was a real gift to hear him speak and talk to him after. He has left a lasting impression on me.
He shared even after 32 yrs, there are still times when he has to pull his car over to quiet his brain, quiet the crazy thoughts. 32 yrs clean, strong relationship with God, works his program and his addiction is still trying to trick him.
I am even more convinced then ever that addicts are born with this disease and it's not a moral character defect like I once thought. Their brains are different. (as with many diseases) However, recovery is possible but it is a life long journey for people who truly want it.
P.S. Also, this man started Alanon about 8 months ago and continues to work on every area of his life. He is a double winner. It was a real gift to hear him speak and talk to him after. He has left a lasting impression on me.
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