facing my demons
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: North Queensland, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 26
facing my demons
Hello,
I'm glad I found this forum, it's cool to be able to talk to other people who are going what I'm going through.
I am a 17 year old male and I never thought that I would be admitting to myself that I have a major problem.
Here in Australia binge-drinking is so commonely accepted that people (inc myself) don't realise how poisonous alcohol is.
Drinking and drugs have ruined my teenage years since about 12 when I got my first taste of intoxication.
This morning at 1am I was arrested for drink driving, and after spending 9 hours in jail, and watching my licence get cut up, as well as a notice to appear in court, I finally realised how much alcohol has ****** my life.
I don't know what it is but its like as soon as I have my first drink, I can't stop, and eventually turn into a different person.
People have described it as "a demon has taken over your mind when you're drunk"...
I have done humiliating, shameful, cruel, psycho things while drunk.
Drinking ruined my relationship with my family, my friends, my girlfriend and my job; as well as put me in A LOT of trouble with the police over the years.
I feel like I am alone because of this horrible substance and what I chose to do while abusing it.
I have done hard drugs in my past, but funnily enough I never really got addicted to them, (except for painkillers), and I still regard alcohol as the worst by far.
Tomorrow is my first step of a long road to recovery and soberness, government couselling, as well as the long journey of repairing my relationship with my family & friends.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Feels good to say these things.
I will see you around
I'm glad I found this forum, it's cool to be able to talk to other people who are going what I'm going through.
I am a 17 year old male and I never thought that I would be admitting to myself that I have a major problem.
Here in Australia binge-drinking is so commonely accepted that people (inc myself) don't realise how poisonous alcohol is.
Drinking and drugs have ruined my teenage years since about 12 when I got my first taste of intoxication.
This morning at 1am I was arrested for drink driving, and after spending 9 hours in jail, and watching my licence get cut up, as well as a notice to appear in court, I finally realised how much alcohol has ****** my life.
I don't know what it is but its like as soon as I have my first drink, I can't stop, and eventually turn into a different person.
People have described it as "a demon has taken over your mind when you're drunk"...
I have done humiliating, shameful, cruel, psycho things while drunk.
Drinking ruined my relationship with my family, my friends, my girlfriend and my job; as well as put me in A LOT of trouble with the police over the years.
I feel like I am alone because of this horrible substance and what I chose to do while abusing it.
I have done hard drugs in my past, but funnily enough I never really got addicted to them, (except for painkillers), and I still regard alcohol as the worst by far.
Tomorrow is my first step of a long road to recovery and soberness, government couselling, as well as the long journey of repairing my relationship with my family & friends.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Feels good to say these things.
I will see you around
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 553
Wow, I too am glad you're coming to the realization now. I was just starting to pick up the drink at your age and if I only knew then what I know now, my 20s and part of my 30's would have turned out much different. You have your whole life ahead of you and although it's sounds like you've had to grow up quickly, you are lucky that you can start moving forward now when you're still young.
Have you considered aa? Aa has helped me realize that the drinking isn't the root of my problems but it's my fear, selfishness and discontentment that causes me to drink. When I work on taking care of those deeper issues, it changes my whole outlook on life.
Have you considered aa? Aa has helped me realize that the drinking isn't the root of my problems but it's my fear, selfishness and discontentment that causes me to drink. When I work on taking care of those deeper issues, it changes my whole outlook on life.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Aussie
Posts: 382
Welcome Aussie (another aussie here)
I'm 25yrs old and I have the same problem with binge drinking. It's awful isn't it? Buying a cheap wine or cheap spirit then drinking it all in a night and then you wake up the next day with the worst hangover in the world and your mates laughing about what stupid thing you did the night before.
The good thing is that you are not alone, we are all here to help. Have a look around the boards and read as much as you can take in. If you need help it's always here for you.
Do you have support in real life? Are you seeking counselling or AA or the support of friends and family? If not I'd really reccomend to come on these boards as much as possible and seek support here.
Just remember to take it all one day at a time. Today I am sober, and I'm proud that today I have not had a drink.
I'm 25yrs old and I have the same problem with binge drinking. It's awful isn't it? Buying a cheap wine or cheap spirit then drinking it all in a night and then you wake up the next day with the worst hangover in the world and your mates laughing about what stupid thing you did the night before.
The good thing is that you are not alone, we are all here to help. Have a look around the boards and read as much as you can take in. If you need help it's always here for you.
Do you have support in real life? Are you seeking counselling or AA or the support of friends and family? If not I'd really reccomend to come on these boards as much as possible and seek support here.
Just remember to take it all one day at a time. Today I am sober, and I'm proud that today I have not had a drink.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Aussie, Glad your hear. Sorry you have so many issues with alcohol as such a young age. But you are brave and strong for taking care of things now.
Just know while this is the first step you cannot walk miles without it. SR is a good place to start.
K
Just know while this is the first step you cannot walk miles without it. SR is a good place to start.
K
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Florida US
Posts: 296
Your realization at 17 is a gift beyond words. Consider yourself lucky. Really.
Best wishes on your journey. Sticking around will help you choose the recovery method that's best suited for you, and don't believe the thought that tells you you want a drink. It is a powerless thought unless YOU infuse it with action. YOU aren't powerless over this. Drinking is a concious choice we make, a decision, and we are certainly not possessed by a demon when drunk. I am so sorry for all the trouble alcohol has caused you at such a young age.
Best wishes on your journey. Sticking around will help you choose the recovery method that's best suited for you, and don't believe the thought that tells you you want a drink. It is a powerless thought unless YOU infuse it with action. YOU aren't powerless over this. Drinking is a concious choice we make, a decision, and we are certainly not possessed by a demon when drunk. I am so sorry for all the trouble alcohol has caused you at such a young age.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Santa Monica, CA
Posts: 168
I know how you feel Aussie. 8 days ago I embarrassed myself at a wedding, got in a fist fight with my brother, and destroyed some stuff at my house. Everyone says that I have demons as well. I've gone through situations like that several times but I finally decided to stop drinking. So ive been sober since. Good luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: North Queensland, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 26
Thank you to the people who responded and for the supporting words!
While i'm on this thread, I'm curious to know if anyone has had experience with Queensland Health's ATODS (Alcohol Tobacco Other Drugs Service)?
I would like to go to some sort of session with them, but I am not sure how it all works as I am new to this counselling thing.
Also if anyone from Australia knows anything about the "Headspace" service that would be cool too.
Cheers,
Aussie
While i'm on this thread, I'm curious to know if anyone has had experience with Queensland Health's ATODS (Alcohol Tobacco Other Drugs Service)?
I would like to go to some sort of session with them, but I am not sure how it all works as I am new to this counselling thing.
Also if anyone from Australia knows anything about the "Headspace" service that would be cool too.
Cheers,
Aussie
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Welcome aboard
Like the other said, so cool to always see someone getting it young...
To be young sober and free. Wow what a gift.. Not to have taken the long ugly road like so many of us..
Good to have you
Like the other said, so cool to always see someone getting it young...
To be young sober and free. Wow what a gift.. Not to have taken the long ugly road like so many of us..
Good to have you
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 346
Hey AussieAlco, another Aussie here too
I second what most people have said; for all that I wouldn't wish any form of addiction on anyone, you are clearly very insightful and lucky to recognise that you can infact do something about it at such a young age.
I'm studying AOD work (minus the tobacco, they'll probably re-name the course next year :p) and granted, I do have more experience in being a client than on the "other side" in the sector, but I can vouch for Headspace; they have a very good reputation nationwide.
To sound out other options, i'd suggest giving Directline a call (1800 888 236, they operate 24/7) to enquire about local services, plus the people on the other end of the phone are all trained cousellors and are more than happy to chat to you about your experiences, situation and treatment options. They're a really good starting point; i've called them several times before Let us all know how you're getting along!
All the best
xx
I second what most people have said; for all that I wouldn't wish any form of addiction on anyone, you are clearly very insightful and lucky to recognise that you can infact do something about it at such a young age.
I'm studying AOD work (minus the tobacco, they'll probably re-name the course next year :p) and granted, I do have more experience in being a client than on the "other side" in the sector, but I can vouch for Headspace; they have a very good reputation nationwide.
To sound out other options, i'd suggest giving Directline a call (1800 888 236, they operate 24/7) to enquire about local services, plus the people on the other end of the phone are all trained cousellors and are more than happy to chat to you about your experiences, situation and treatment options. They're a really good starting point; i've called them several times before
Let us all know how you're getting along!All the best
xx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Miami, Florida
Posts: 24
Re-starting Day 1: My masochistic cycle of drinking & remorse
I'm here to report my Epic fail this weekend.
Saturday was supposed to be my 5th day of sobriety. Instead, I am starting Day 1 today again.
I had every intention of staying sober Saturday night.
My agent picked up at 10am for the photo shoot at 11am. Unlike the prior audition I screwed up 2 weeks ago, he was happy to see that my eyes were not bloodshot and my hair was sparkling clean.
It was supposed to be a 3-4 hour shoot. But it dragged on until 8pm. My face felt raw by 5pm since the make-up artist insisted on changing the make-up six times.
Everyone was getting cranky on the set: no food, just zipping through wardrobe, makeup, and scenery changes.
We ended up drinking on someone's boat in South Beach from Saturday night until Sunday night.
Today, is my first day sober again. I just feel so frustrated and angry at myself.
Even though I don't drink on weekdays, my binge drinking on weekends more than compensates for my weekday deprivation.
I am grateful for this forum. It gives me hope when I feel despair. When I see that someone breaks 30 days I feel happy and inspired.
Thank you.
Saturday was supposed to be my 5th day of sobriety. Instead, I am starting Day 1 today again.
I had every intention of staying sober Saturday night.
My agent picked up at 10am for the photo shoot at 11am. Unlike the prior audition I screwed up 2 weeks ago, he was happy to see that my eyes were not bloodshot and my hair was sparkling clean.
It was supposed to be a 3-4 hour shoot. But it dragged on until 8pm. My face felt raw by 5pm since the make-up artist insisted on changing the make-up six times.
Everyone was getting cranky on the set: no food, just zipping through wardrobe, makeup, and scenery changes.
We ended up drinking on someone's boat in South Beach from Saturday night until Sunday night.
Today, is my first day sober again. I just feel so frustrated and angry at myself.
Even though I don't drink on weekdays, my binge drinking on weekends more than compensates for my weekday deprivation.I am grateful for this forum. It gives me hope when I feel despair. When I see that someone breaks 30 days I feel happy and inspired.
Thank you.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Aussie
Posts: 382
Originally Posted by AussieAlco 
Thank you to the people who responded and for the supporting words!
While i'm on this thread, I'm curious to know if anyone has had experience with Queensland Health's ATODS (Alcohol Tobacco Other Drugs Service)?
I would like to go to some sort of session with them, but I am not sure how it all works as I am new to this counselling thing.
Also if anyone from Australia knows anything about the "Headspace" service that would be cool too.
Cheers,
Aussie
While i'm on this thread, I'm curious to know if anyone has had experience with Queensland Health's ATODS (Alcohol Tobacco Other Drugs Service)?
I would like to go to some sort of session with them, but I am not sure how it all works as I am new to this counselling thing.
Also if anyone from Australia knows anything about the "Headspace" service that would be cool too.
Cheers,
Aussie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 221
Welcome Aussie, glad to know you are fighting to break your chains at a young age before they become to hard to be broken. I wish you well on your everlasting journey to an alcohol free lifestyle. I started at 14 now I am 28, and quitting has been rough for me. It doesn't mean I wont keep trying, it just means I have to try harder now that my chains are slightly thicker than before.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 21
Welcome aussie,
I understand well the drinking/bingeing culture and am really glad you've realised so early on that you can change your habits. I've wasted years of my life that hopefully. Won't. I'm only on day 5 so not sure how qualified I am to give advice but these boards have been an amazing inspiration and support for me so you've definitely found the right place to be.
Well done and best of luck x
I understand well the drinking/bingeing culture and am really glad you've realised so early on that you can change your habits. I've wasted years of my life that hopefully. Won't. I'm only on day 5 so not sure how qualified I am to give advice but these boards have been an amazing inspiration and support for me so you've definitely found the right place to be.
Well done and best of luck x
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
